What’s That You Say?
May I contribute: “She has the intellectual depth of a parking lot puddle”
I can’t recall the principles in this exchange but it was the theme of a crossword puzzle
wag 1: Just received your book. Who wrote it for you?
wag 2: Glad you liked it. Who read it to you?Posted by commander0
01/10/2007 at 06:05 PM
How about"you are a good person to have around when you don’t need anything.”
Posted by Grumpyguy
01/10/2007 at 08:42 PM
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill, at a social gathering
LA: “Sir Winston, if I were your wife I would poison your tea.”
WC: “Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it.”WC Fields to a woman: “Madam, you are ugly.”
Woman: “ Sir, you are drunk.”
WC Fields: “True, but in the morning I’ll be sober, but you will still be ugly.”Attributed to Winston Churchill when he was First Lord of the Admiralty, proposing a change in the Royal Navy ship building program.
Crusty Admiral: Lord Winston, you would be destroying the traditions of His Majesty’s Navy.”
Churchill: “Admiral, the traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, the lash and sodomy. Which tradition would you like to keep?”
Source unknown, but upon hearing it, Churchill said he wished he had said it.Charles Steinmetz, the brilliant engineer, scientist and mathematician, was short, hunchbacked and very homely. When the famous scientist was introduced at a party to a young, beautiful actress, she gushed “Oh Dr. Steinmetz, if we were to marry and our baby had your mind and my looks, think how wonderful that would be.”
He shot back “But young lady, think if it had my looks and your mind what a tragedy it would be.”I always liked this one: “He’s 3 tacos short of a fiesta”.
The best insults always ring true:
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx
“A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice.” - Phillip Marlowe
“If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be surprised.” - Dorothy Parker
