They did a good job
on 12/23/2014 at 01:47 AM
Christopher, I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. May you and your family be comforted and strengthened by The One True God!
I’m hoping that you found solace and perhaps some closure sharing this tragic, difficult moment of you life.
You need to take a bit of time to settle, and to gather your strength, because the next step - dealing with the estate - can be huge and daunting. And relatives can be very spiky when it comes to deciding who gets the dining table or the silverware. It can take years.
There’s no estate to handle.
Unless Drew - you have lawyers who decide on the first day that it’s all got to be sold to add money to the estate - and then sit on their assets and do nothing - for 3 years. I’m glad that my cousin had enough wits about him to walk through the ‘will’ - and get as much as he could - which he then gave to me - to catalog. It is still in my garage (I think it’s multiplying out there).
Yes Christopher - even in a less than ideal relationship - it does end up hitting you. And even though my siblings haven’t acknowledged me in decades - they did come out of the woodwork to hound me to ‘get’ what they wanted. Until they realized I wasn’t going to do anything for them at all. Didn’t even bother to come for the funeral - don’t even think of bothering me.
I should have snatched my Mom’s keys when she was in the hospital and set up shop in her apartment - and taken what I wanted before she died. No one would have been the wiser, especially the lawyers. Neither of them would have noticed anything that wasn’t stapled to a check.
wardmama, Mom didn’t have anything.
No estate. Sisters handled most of this and asked if there was anything I wanted from her room at the nursing home. No. I really didn’t want anything except for the cellphone. Mom had been on my family cellphone plan for almost a decade. That was returned to me at the funeral.
We siblings are not arguing because there is nothing to argue about. Mom had the foresight to divvy out the stuff at the time she sold off the house and went into the nursing home. Frankly, I doubt we’d fight anyway. I may not be that close to my sisters, but I wouldn’t over trivial stuff. Oh, I’d have liked that antique Hoosier cabinet, but baby sis got it and that’s fine. She has three children to leave it with. They can fight over it.
Yes, I was thinking of what you went through Wardmama, and I was thinking of the hoops my brother had to jump through to settle my father’s estate, plus Peiper’s situation with his MIL, and I was thinking of the never ever ending saga of trying to get my MIL’s house on the market - more than 2 years after her demise, and the daughters still aren’t ready. Oh, the place has been cleaned, cleaned up, cleaned out, garage saled, estate saled, patched, primed, and painted (not that it was in such bad shape the day she passed) but still not yet. I think it’s become some kind of shrine to them, and I think this is getting pretty damn unhealthy at this point. Time to move on.
Point is, while it’s different for all of us, it’s never easy.
Got lucky. Mom sold everything, house included, at the time she went into the nursing home. I did go through the house with my sisters at the time. They had also hired a ‘professional’ lady who was expert in finding pearls in a pile of crap. She did find some, auctioned them off and gave Mom that much more money.
You might notice I’m wearing a boutonnière. The pall-bearers all wore them.
Hang in there dude, don’t go FMR on us.
Drugs huh, well that explains a few things.
Kidding,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Rest In Peace, mother of this man. You deserve it.
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