Some bad bowling news for Drew. Health and Safety deems it “dangerous.” Kid ya not.
on 11/30/2009 at 01:34 PM
Go ahead and just TRY to walk down the lanes in a bowling alley when other people are present. Just TRY to.
You won’t get 10 feet before
A) You slip and fall on your dumb ass because the lanes are covered with oil, and
B) One of the folks working there, or even one of the other patrons, runs out to stop you.
Take your neighbor’s stupid kid with you and let him run wild. Let him run across the approaches while other folks are trying to bowl. Let him try to stick his grubby little paw in the ball return. Let him experiment with physics and gravity by stacking up the alley balls by the thumb holes. And you’ll see both A) and B) happening in a matter of seconds, with the addition of C) getting your butts tossed out like that if the behavior continues.
‘Elf & Safety needs to sod off right quick. WTF is wrong with the pansies over there that they don’t rise up against these wanks?
It is dangerous with someone like me around. You know the idiot in the movie who lets the ball go backward - yepper that’s me. And so on and so forth - it is why I settled into only bowling while pregnant - an excuse to my fabulous 50s scores!
The stupid libs with their ‘self-esteem’ bs and don’t spank crappola have created kids who won’t listen to anyone - and that isn’t a elf & safety issue for anyone but the out-of-control kid.
Muscle cars, smokes and great tasting food - and now bowling - no wonder the libs are so damn miserable - they don’t know how to have fun! OMG sorry I forgot the biggest one - GUNS.
Miserable and stupid = liberal.
Interesting photos on the center of today’s Daily Mail covering both pages.
Headlined, EAT YER HEART OUT MR. HEALTH AND SAFETY.
The photos are very old of course and show children at play. In every single photo shown, you could if you wanted to look, find a potential danger. But no. Kids just happily at play and not a care in the world. And no elf ‘n’ safety dept. How did they all survive?Slightly modified quotation from a quotation by the character Edgar Friendly, in the movie “Demolition Man”:
You see, according to Health & Safety’s plan I’m the enemy, ‘cause I like to think; I like to read. I’m into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I’m the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - “Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?” I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to drive through the streets naked, in my 1969 muscle car, that gets 4 miles to the gallon, with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. I want to bowl, on non-padded lanes, without wearing a fucking safety helmet. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I’ve SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It’s a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing “I’m an Oscar Meyer Weiner”
11/30/2009 at 03:30 PM
12/01/2009 at 08:10 AM
