Salute To The Jarheads
PAIN IS THE FEELING WEAKNESS MAKES LEAVING THE BODY
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This young guy gets out of the Marines after Nam. He lives his life like the American dream. When the War on Iraq comes around he goes down to the local recruiting station, and tells the recruiter, “I want in, I wanna fight.” But the recruiter says, “Sorry man, you’re too old.” “Fine,” the guy says. “I’ll go to the Pentagon. I have a friend there. He’ll let me in!” So he goes to the Pentagon and tells his friend, “I want in, I wanna fight.” But his friend says, “Sorry Buddy, you’re too old.” “Fine,” the guy says. “I’ll buy a boat and row to Iraq!” So he goes out and buys himself a rowboat and starts rowing to Iraq, chanting “Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!” over and over again.GOD goes up to St. Peter and says, “St. Peter, what do I do to stop this guy?” St. Peter tells GOD, “Why don’t you take his brain? It’s the root of all thought.” So GOD takes the guy’s brain. It doesn’t faze him. “Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!”. GOD then says, “Now what?!” St. Peter replies, “Why don’t you take his heart? It’s the seat of all emotion.” So God takes it. Doesn’t faze the guy. “Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!’. So GOD says, “Now what should I do?!” St. Peter smiles and says, “Take his balls.” So GOD takes the guy’s balls. The guy stops rowing, looks confused, turns his boat around, and begins chanting, “Off we go, into the wild blue yonder…
*************************Posted by Oink
12/28/2004 at 05:59 PM
TO ERR IS HUMAN TO FORGIVE DIVINE—NEITHER IS MARINE CORPS POLICY
P.S. I have nothing against the Air Force or the Navy. But one must retaliate when they say, “Yea, I tried to join the Marine Corps, but they found out about my parents ..... being married.”
Posted by Oink
12/28/2004 at 06:22 PM
Oink, shouldn’t that Marine have been singing “Anchors aweigh my boys, anchors aweigh ....” after losing his balls? ;)
Yes C-4 is a very persuasive problem solver that brings closure to issues one way or the other…
Posted by Ric
12/28/2004 at 06:39 PM
Allan: I considered that ending. I did not for two reasons.
1. That’s the way the joke was told to me.
2. Navy Corpsmen(Altho it’s true I would rather be a Marine on the ground than an Airman in a plane with missiles coming at me —can’t dig in)
We had a Corpsman win the Navy Cross (just below Medal of Honor). There’s only one way a Corpsman wins that medal—posthumously.
Posted by Oink
12/28/2004 at 06:47 PM
OK, Oink. We’ll compromise ... what’s the Coast Guard song? Wasn’t it that one sung by the Village People?
When you meet a Coast Guardsman you say, “I thought you had to be over six feet tall to join the Coast Guard! So if your boat sinks you can wade ashore.....
Posted by Oink
12/28/2004 at 07:27 PM
Oink,
ROTFLMFAO!! Good one! Semper Fi!
*a former USMC recruit(womens division)and wife of a Reagan-era Marine*Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
12/28/2004 at 08:55 PM
I thought I’d hear from you, Twerp (said with the greatest respect). I believe your email handle is MollyMarine. Truth to tell I have total affection for anyone who served his/her country in any branch of the military.
Even for the Army which my son served in as a combat engineer. Ah, that priceless feeling of having a shovel in your hand when someone is shooting at you.
But, a great song I hardly ever sang to him:Hear the pitter-patter of little feet
That’s the dog-faced Army in full retreat
They’re movin’ on!Posted by Oink
12/28/2004 at 09:20 PM
Hey, Oink, my dad was in the Signal Corps during the Battle of the Bulge, and he told me all about the wonderful feeling of being shot at while trying to string wire. Kinda hard to hold a rifle while you’re doing that.
As far as the Corps/Navy rivalry, I’ll never forget being at an Orioles game in the eighties. There was a huge contingent of Middies at the game, and the Marines sat in one section and the Navy guys sat in another, and they were doing dueling less-than-complimentary chants. It was hysterical.
Posted by CraigC
12/28/2004 at 09:39 PM
Oink,
Alas, I washed out of USMC bootcamp(Plt.4008-Nco-4thBn MCRD PISC)in 1989. I made it to within 2 weeks of grad, unfortunately I have a problem with fine-motor coordination and it just didn’t work out.
Oh well-at least I washed out of the BEST!
Btw-the BOY and one of his buddies-a short very chubby lad-want to be Marines. Using my short and very chubby husband as a success story, I’ve been encouraging them both.
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
12/28/2004 at 10:33 PM
Silly Rabbit! Squids are for Kids!
(What we said to Sailors circa 1964)You know, the most unlikely people make it in the USMC. I’m smallish and skinny, but I loaded plenty of unconscious Rambos into helicopters—heat casualties.
The Marine Corps: the least exclusive club —with the highest dues. (i.e. we don’t care who your parents are, how much money you got—just carry that weapon and use it)
My son tried to join, turned down for being deaf. Good decision on their part, altho otherwise he was great material. I would hate to lose him, I mean REALLY hate to lose him, but better a dead hero than a live coward.
My sons AND MY DAUGHTER! understand this: I would see all my family dead, my three-year-old (Asian-American) beloved Grandson included, before I would live under some Islamo-Fascist American government. I would take you to hell with me with a smile on my face.
If you try to make slaves of my family, you’d better not let us near anything sharp or dangerous. You suicide bomber cocksuckers had better remember that. Don’t focus on Michael Moore and his cum-stained asshole stuck up in the air. There are millions of people like me.Posted by Oink
12/28/2004 at 11:08 PM