Rubber News
How about the ad campaign? Have the Commander in Chief protect your privates? Somehow, the idea of a clinton wrapped around my willy is scary
Posted by Silvergoat
09/21/2005 at 07:18 AM
I know! Call ‘em the “Cigar Humidor!”
The “french tickler” for the heavy S&M crowd:
THE ARKANSAS RAZORBACKDon’t be Silly, put a Billy on your Willie.
If you don’t put a sack on it,
stay home and whack on it.When the weather’s hot and sticky,
it’s not good to dunk the dickie.When the frost is on the pumpkin,
then it’s time for dickie dunkin’(author unknown)
The high end deluxe model should be called (drumroll)
Clinton Legacy
Storing Condoms (from emedicine)
Keep condoms in a cool, dry place away from heat and sunlight, such as your Oval Office night stand (not Hillary’s cabinet). Your wallet or Presidential Limousine is too hot for storing condoms. If you do carry a condom in your wallet for convenience, replace it often. Opening and closing your wallet, not to mention the pressure from your fat ass, will weaken the condom. However, it’s better to use a condom that has been in your wallet for a long time than not to use one at all.
-----------------------------------------------
ALL OUR CONDOMS ARE 100% GUARANTEED
so what happens if one breaks
THEN YOUR GUARANTEE RUNS OUT
Posted by Oink
09/21/2005 at 10:13 AM
I agree completely, Dick. A more fitting legacy for that loathsome mountebank, that infamous fraud, that vile and detestable jackanapes could not be invented. The only surprise is that it took someone so long.
If the Chicomms want to crown this achievement properly, then every one of these condoms should leak!!!!
Seems very fitting for a
Posted by piccalo
09/21/2005 at 11:41 AM
Aw, shucks! Y’all are giving me the impression that y’all jes’ don’t like ol’ Slick Willy. I’m shocked .. shocked, I tells ya!
I can’t wait for the Hillary Tampon to come out ....
I can see the advertising campaign, Skipper:
White
Uptight
Out-of-Sight---
I’ve gotta check my No-Adaware settings, that rascal OCM has taken over my computer!Posted by Oink
09/21/2005 at 12:09 PM
THIS CAME FROM DICOVERYCHANNEL.COM EMAIL
Prepare your home and family with this complete emergency kit, an integral part of the sweeping new America Prepared Campaign. Packed in a bright orange, extremely durable backpack, this portable kit meets all the requirements established by the Department of Homeland Security Assholes. It includes essential household emergency items, plus food and water for one person for three days. The component list was created by a collaboration of DHS, The American Red Cross, FEMA, Columbia University’s National Center for Disaster Preparedness and the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis. Theses last four couldn’t pour piss out of a boot, if the instructions were written on the bottom of the heel.
Includes:600-dernier nylon orange backpack
Mylar emergency blanket
Nylon hooded rain poncho
Leather palm gloves
AM/FM water-resistant radio
10 foil-sealed water packs
12 foil-sealed ration food bars (2400 calories)
Water bag
Flashlight
Batteries (Four D batteries and four AA)
3M ™ N95 particulate respirator mask
12-hour snap-and-shake light stick
30-piece, one person first aid kit
U.S. Coast Guard whistle with lanyard
Bleach container
Gas and water turnoff wrench
6 antiseptic moist towelettes
Chemical-resistant plastic barrier sheeting (50 square feet)
Duct barrier sheeting tape
Emergency preparedness information manual
12 SlickWillie(lubricated)ClintonCondomsPosted by Oink
09/21/2005 at 01:36 PM
I added a few words, but took nothing out.
EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAT THE DOPE ...
WHERE’S THE FUGGIN GUN ??? YOU LIBERAL GOV’T ASSHOLES!!
(Dope will get you thru times without money, better than money will get you thru times with no dope. But in a crisis neither beats having a gun.)
Posted by Oink
09/21/2005 at 02:04 PM
Who’s got the link to buy some of these rascals? They sound like perfect holiday gifts for moonbat relatives.
Interesting list you posted, Oink.
I think I like the one from the old Civil Defense survival manual better, however.
It’s a real list, with one exception.
Posted by Oink
09/21/2005 at 07:10 PM
The package is shown here.
Tannenberg said in describing Clinton [loathsome mountebank… vile and detestable jackanapes...]
Great choice of words, much more eloquent and pointed than my usual “ratbastard” or some such. The Bard would be proud of you!
CheersThank you, Dick. I try. It’s good to know that the effort is appreciated....
Re 10: white, up-tight, outta-sight, and IN THE GROOVE!
As I recall, the US Military had another interesting use for condoms in VietNam, besides the obvious one.
The M-16 rifle came equipped witrh a black plastic guard which slipped over the flash suppressor, in order to keep dirt (and jungle critters, etc) out of the barrel.
This could be “shot off” in case of an emergency, but in most cases, these plastic “hats” simply got lost. So, the ingenious solution was to slip one of those heavy-weight, ultra-vulcanized, Government Issue condoms (which could also serve as emergency rain ponchos) over the rifle’s barrel, and this kept the mud, crud, critters and hippie-placed flowers out of the weapon’s business end.
I just wonder, given the toughness of these GI jimmyhats, if the bullet penetrated the rubber, or just got stuck in the reservoir tip, and the enemy ended up being shot with both a bullet AND a condom…
Rat: I carried an M-14 back in the Stone Age of 1965. Didn’t have any muzzle-condoms, but it might have been a good idea. I’m confident, unless the thing got down the barrel, that it would shoot a hole in the condom. Plenty of room for the expanding gas. Without Googling, I recall the muzzle velocity around a half mile per second.
Posted by Oink
09/22/2005 at 10:14 AM
Condoms? What are those?
You all know you have a sweet little naive lady here Such talk among you men!!!!...... 
Posted by Dottie
09/22/2005 at 10:49 AM
Dottie: So, at what age were you forced to get married ???
Back in our day, at least in the MENS room, they had coin operated dispensers. They read
FOR THE PREVENTION OF DISEASE ONLY —but this was scratched out to read
FOR THE __EVENT___OF ___EASE
Posted by Oink
09/22/2005 at 01:30 PM
There was a little girl
She had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She was very, very good.
And when she was bad
She was terrific.
**************
A new board game called “Monotony” --reading posts (and blogs) by a toasted stoner—flowers and cats and weed ??? 
Juuusssttt kidding!
Posted by Oink
09/22/2005 at 02:12 PM
P.S. Game (is) over man! When a Vietnam Marine tells a Harrowing Combat Story, with great elan, and a touch of wry irony and humor.
for the fifth or sixth time ...
Posted by Oink
09/22/2005 at 02:21 PM
P.P.S. a crusty, yet lovable Vietnam Marine
Posted by Oink
09/22/2005 at 03:08 PM
P.P.P.S. and intelligent .... Where IS that old guy? Hope he hasn’t been out driving and met yet another crazy stop-sign runner…
Posted by Oink
09/22/2005 at 05:34 PM
NOW WHAT? Duhhhh?
Now… we declare this topic brain dead, and move on to getting off-topic on the next topic.
Posted by Oink
09/22/2005 at 06:53 PM
Oink - am that little girl with a little curl - when I am good, I am very good..........when I am bad - watch out
Posted by Dottie
09/22/2005 at 09:23 PM
