Reader Feedback (and retraction)
He’s kidding people!
One burst from a 50 Cal and that wading pool would be upside down. Eez beeg trouble for Moose and Squirrel!Posted by Oink
11/13/2005 at 07:13 PM
The caliber may not match the delivery system but
it should leave a lasting impression.
Posted by piccalo
11/13/2005 at 07:34 PM
Addendum: Assuming the weapon is well anchored. And yes, the whole bit is a fabulous pimp of our Northern Neighbor’s military prowess and readiness. Hmmmm, I’d be frightened if I hooked a largish Walleye in that craft.
Posted by Oink
11/13/2005 at 07:47 PM
Mr. Oink, but it does match up with our brand new (used) submarine fleet that is now in drydock due to its nasty habit of catching fire.
I thought one or two of you might get a giggle out of that photo.
-Dan D.
CanuckistanCanucistan’s military might:
Navy:
3 Birch bark canoes beached due to dry rot
unknown number of one way submarines (go down but don’t come back up).Air Force:
3 Asthmatic flying squirrels due to be retired during next fiscal year due to operational expenses.Army:
4 ex-mounties given to excessive consumption of fermented cloud berries.Guys! Come on! We’re gonna hurt Dan’s feelings (and a whole lot of intelligent Canadians who are on our side - none of whom are in Kwee-Bec, oui?). Here is a shot of the HMCS Sackville taken from the HMCS Owen Sound during WWII. Both ships as well as thousands of other Canadian corvettes provided convoy coverage for the millions of tons of materiel that helped stop Hitler. BTW, Dan sent me the e-mail I posted here. He has a sense of humor but I wouldn’a be a messing wid him too much, lads. He comes from strong stock (the pic below was taken by his dad in between dodging German torpedos) even though he is stranded in the land of
bad beersocialist icehats.
Kirk and Dan: Thanks, I read about Canada’s subs—something I was totally unaware of. Canada has apparently surrendered freedom and the ability to defend itself. Weren’t Canucks at one time tough and independent? Why did they start letting themselves be ruled by butt-munching control freaks?
Posted by Oink
11/13/2005 at 08:22 PM
It happened when the French lovers in Quebec took charge and surrendered. I worked with some Canadians. Two of them had a sense of humor about things and one was very much pro liberal Canada. I yanked on his chain all of the time. Told him that Canada was a nice place to live if you wanted to drink sh*t contaminated water. At that time they had a whole lot of e-coli outbreaks that got a considerable amount of press north of the boarder. Went on to discuss the Canadian problem with their aboriginals (what we call indians). Seems that the government would get into shooting matches with them over fishing rights. The guy still won’t talk to me. I told him that since he made cracks about the US that Canada was fair game. The other Canadians howled when I was on a roll.
We have the same problem in states like Illinois, Minnesota, California, etc, where the countryside votes conservative and the cities vote liberal overwhelming the conservatives.
That being said, the real Canadian military has highly dedicated individuals who are undermined by their own liberal infested government. In Afghanistan the US supplied the Canadian troops with ammunition because Canada couldn’t get the proper ammunition to their troops. The western provinces of Canada are much like the US and have considered voting themselves out of Canada and into the US where they would be much welcomed.
Respects, Skipper, but the only unfair thing we said about Canada’s history in the past 50 years is a sneaky insult of their beer. Any country that produces Budweener, the Drag Queen of Beers, should not talk.
They did kick butt in WW2 while we were asleep. And their beer is great. If I lived in Canada I’d drink it continually. For two reasons.
Posted by Oink
11/13/2005 at 08:36 PM
My sister in law the Orchestra harpist lives in Calgary on the Canuck equivelent of a ‘green card’. Guess they have a shortage of good harpists-anyway I’m going to e-mail her the link to this post.
hee hee.Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
11/13/2005 at 09:02 PM
I forgot- Dan I salute your Dad for his service and bravery!
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
11/13/2005 at 09:04 PM
Ah! Finally an escort vessel for the John Kerry class aircraft carrier!!
Good one, Jester. I even know what that really is.
I’ve made comments here and elsewhere about the Canadian Navy. They are based on facts that I got from the Canadian Navy‘s own web site. All joking aside, we’re looking at a sixteen warship Navy here, folks. Two of which I understand (from a Canadian who is more outraged than I am) have been laid up due to lack of personnel.
I usually point out that they do one helluva job, when they are committed to international maritime operations, especially considering how they have been cut to shreds, a shadow of their former selves, by their own government. I’m critical, but I consider it to be constructive criticism.
They were also embarassed when the tsunami struck last Christmas. They had to wait for the Russians to free up their heavy lift aircraft so that they could send their Disaster Assistance Team to help.
I’ll also point out that they were among the first to have people in our gulf coast after the recent hurricanes.
I like Canada, I used to go over the Peace Bridge from Buffalo to practice my English [rimshot], I just hate what the socialists are doing to a fine country.
I must point out that it was the British who recently sold four surplus diesel sumbmarines to the Canadians. Tragically a sailor lost his life when one caught fire on the trip to Canada. I am sure I read the subs had a poor track record and were most likely sold off at a bargain basement price.
Me personally I have nothing but admiration for the Canadians. Vimy Ridge, Dieppe etc. the Canadians for a small country (population wise) punch way above their weight. And as Oink points out their beer puts most mass market American brews to shame.
First of all, thanks to all for the support and some of you have hit the nail on the head as far as why we are the way we are. Get a Canuckistani map out and draw a line N to S thru Niagra Falls, then move east just past Quebec City and do the same. That’s where the power base is. All I ask is please don’t remind me that our illustrious LIBERAL Prime Minister is visiting BC this month to tell us more lies. (gag, choke, spit....)
But in keeping with the cheery nature of the post, and at the Skipper’s expense of bandwidth, I’ll fire another broadside salvo at myself with this forward from a cousin just today:
45 SIGNS THAT YOU “MAY” BE CANADIAN
(To my US cousins:
If you understand 10% of this list or more, you’re in trouble. If you don’t....go to - http://www.google.ca for further explanation - yes Virginia, there is a Canadian Google. )1. You stand in “line-ups” or “queues” at the “show”, not in lines at the movies.
2. You’re not offended by the term, “Homo Milk”
3. You understand the phrase, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine”. (Napkins are feminine.)
4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
5. You drink pop, not soda.
6. You know that “Winnie (The Pooh)” was a real bear from WWI times that travelled to London and was named after Winnipeg, Manitoba.
8. You know that “a mickey” and “two-four’s” mean “An evening of fun, eh?!”
9. You can drink legally while still a ‘teen.
10. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
11. You don’t care about the fuss with Cuba, it’s a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
12. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
13. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway. (And a “pickerel rig” is used to catch Walleye.)
14. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
15. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is and probably have two or three different sizes.
16. You have Canadian Tire Money in your kitchen drawers.
17. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than Wal-Mart or the toy stores at Christmas.
18. You know that “Thrills” are something like chewing gum and “taste like soap”.
19. You know that Mounties “don’t always look like that.”
20. You know that the “Friendly Giant” isn’t a vegetable product line.
22. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
23. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram’s “Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo”
24. You know what a toque is.
25. You grudgingly admit Jim Carey is Canadian and you’re glad Jerry Lewis is not.
26. You know Toronto is not a province.
27. You know all the words to “If I Had a Million dollars.”
28. You can go out, not far from home each December, and cut down your own Christmas Tree.
29. You remember when asking for a “NIP n’ CHIPS” would get you a burger and fries.
30. You have memorised the Heritage Foundation’s Heritage Moments, including your favourites, “I smell burnt toast, Doctor”, “You all know I canna read a word...”, “The Log Driver’s Waltz”, and “Kanata”.
31. You wonder why there isn’t a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway down your butt and the hair and three layers of skin is worn off the front of your thighs from carrying your pocket money around). The new coin should have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger pattie and have fifteen different kinds of metals in it, (and some poutine).
32. You know Ashley MacIssac isn’t Celtic enough.
33. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.
34. You have been on Speaker’s Corner.
35. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing ‘u’s from labor, honor, and color.
36. You own at least two snowshovels - maybe even a snowblower - and have studded tires on your car in winter.
37. You wonder, idly, if there is some government cover-up of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of “X-Files” from British Columbia to California.
38. You know that a “Premier” isn’t a baby born a few weeks early.
39. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
40. You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is at least one metre above the ground.
41. The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires at least 6 pages for hockey.
42. You know 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
43. You understand the Labatt Blue and Molson Canadian commercials.
44. You perk up when you hear the theme from “Hockey Night in Canada”
45. You actually get these jokes, are not offended by them, and forward them to all your Canadian friends, eh?-Dan D,
Canuckistan1. Barb, thank you for reminding me to thank all Canadians for their service. It was so sad to see the photo of the fine young man killed in their submarine fire.
2. Despising a country’s system of government is irrelevant to how you feel about individuals. I remember the former CNN reporter in a wheelchair telling about the Iranian who stopped to help him cover a demonstration. Soon the Iranian was wheeling him down the street yelling, “DEATH TO AMERICA!”.
3. It’s good to have international viewpoints on BMEWS. Maggie Thatcher diagnosed all socialist countries problems, “They have run out of other peoples’ money”. AND Canada’s motto, “Free Speech as long as no favored groups are offended”—well, it’s difficult to laugh and puke at the same time.
Posted by Oink
11/14/2005 at 09:03 AM
Dan-
In the “Windy City” we:
drive on highways
drink ‘pop’
have 2 seasons...winter and construction.
I know: Toronto isn’t a province
the difference btwn a ‘looney’ and a ‘twoney’
When we visited the sister in law a few summers back I kept saying things like
‘How aboot ‘dem Cubbies eh!’(sout-side Canuck)
‘So how’s your (then) PM Jean(said like the girls name) Creet-in’
‘So Canada Day is like the 4TH but a lot more lame, right?’
Since the local Starback made Mocha’ with chocolate milk I kept asking them where I could get one that was made’normally’.
Crossing into Alberta I was wearing a stars and stripes bandana.
I’m sooo bad
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
11/14/2005 at 09:05 AM
True, Barb, Canadian culture & language infects(?) the Northern USA. Remember the ad campaign, ”Say YES to Michigan” ? It was only after a vacation IN the Upper Peninsula that I understood the following bumpersticker:
SAY YA TO DA U.P. EH?
Posted by Oink
11/14/2005 at 09:29 AM
Nice list, Dan. I already printed it out & stuck it on the locker of our token Canukistanite at work. It kinda reminds me of the list going around when I lived in Alaska
I understood about half of the list. I had to look up “Roberts Screwdriver”.
Serviettes, napkins...I call ‘em chin wipers.
“Homo Milk” didn’t offend me when I first saw it in Wasaga Beach many years ago. I found it disturbing that they lactated and that there were enough of ‘em in Canada to provide so much milk.
Toronto is one of my favorite “Big Cities”, Montreal is not.
#30 - That’s like three feet, isn’t it?
I hope they still make Old Vienna lager. I also know the difference between “imported” Canadian beer and the real thing.
They missed mentioning Brewer’s Retail
There are large signs on the U.S. side of the Peace Bridge “Studded Tires are Banned in Ontario”. Damn socialists!
I don’t know the music for “Hockey Night in Canada” but the Sabre Dance perks me up. (Buffalo Sabres theme for those who don’t know)One very wise sign you’ll see upon entering Canada: Speed Limits Are In KILOMETERS
“Gawd-damn Billy Bob! Lookie thar .. A HUNNERT!”
Posted by Oink
11/14/2005 at 02:39 PM
11/13/2005 at 08:02 PM
11/14/2005 at 02:58 AM
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