Open Thread: April Fools
Try counting ... women. I was going to say sheep, but I figured a certain member might get jealous.
Posted by Steel Turman
04/01/2005 at 05:16 AM
Happy 11th Birthday ALEX!!
(aka the BOY)
Yeah-my son was born on April Fools Day-and though I was supposed to be born around Thanksgiving I showed up a little before HALLOWEEN
Was that a message from God or something?
One wonders.
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
04/01/2005 at 09:12 AM
Hey Barb, the Monterey Aquarium turned that shark loose.
Posted by Steel Turman
04/01/2005 at 10:14 AM
I got all excited and then I remembered-THIS IS THE APRIL FOOLS POST.
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
04/01/2005 at 10:35 AM
NONONONO I am telling you the truth.
It was on FOX. Geez. I’m not that cruel.
The @#$^%^%& shark is swimmin’ free.
NO SHIT!
Google it.
Posted by Steel Turman
04/01/2005 at 10:40 AM
I did.
They let her go yesterday
If that little girl is able to reach adulthood she might grow to 25 ft and weigh 4 TONS!
The little shark is free.
Time to do the happy dance.
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
04/01/2005 at 10:54 AM
If you are a fool. And don’t have a calendar.
Posted by Steel Turman
04/01/2005 at 11:08 AM
At great personal risk to myself, I feel that it is my duty as a BMEWS member, to point out that you (Allan) have misplaced an “f” in your Member & Visitor Info. You might want to look under your keyboard or maybe wrapped up in your mouse ball. We have all misplaced “Fs” so you are forgiven. When you get the time, please insert the “f” in its proper location.
Bad Behavior:.....and do not piss of* either Allan or Vilmar.
Try not to embarrass us further and please keep track of your “Fs”.
That is all.
Posted by DR@HDfixit
04/01/2005 at 11:38 AM
DR: Go “f” yourself.
I made a lame attempt at pulling an April Fools joke on my history professor yesterday. I told him the Cubs lost when they actually won. Dumb, I know, but my original one didn’t work out.
Happy April Fools Day! The official holiday for atheists!
Posted by Buckeye Kev
04/01/2005 at 11:52 AM
ON A SERIOUS NOTE—OldCatMan got saved watching Jerry Falwell on TV. He has shaved, gotten a flat-top, given up dope, and become an outstanding Right Wing Fundamentalist menber of the Moral Majority and the 700 Club.
The brain damage caused by years of blowin’ dope makes him fit right in.
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 11:54 AM
There it is!....I knew you would find it Allan.
Posted by DR@HDfixit
04/01/2005 at 11:55 AM
Jen, if the Cubs keep playing the way the have thus-ie LOSING-I’ll be warming up my “Dieing Cub Fan’s Last Request” oh in JUNE.
Maybe next DECADE. *siiigh*Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
04/01/2005 at 11:56 AM
Oink is in the lead!
Posted by Steel Turman
04/01/2005 at 11:57 AM
Did you hear? Barb (ALTwerp) joined Curves, went on The Jenny Craig program, got a make-over from Avon, and is scheduled to do a spread (heh heh) in Hustler!
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 12:25 PM
Got a good one today. I work in an office with a Brit, German and a bunch of other officers. I put tape with a pic of a Brit flag on the bottom of the good Col’s mouse. I came into work and he’s telling me, the mouse is broke. Not knowing what was going on(yeah, right) I go investigate. I turn the mouse over and find the flag. The good Col comes back to his desk sees that and cusses up a storm and proceeds to mess with the Brit officers computer. Haven’t gotten caught yet. It was great seeing the whole thing play out.
HISTORIC old photo. ”Vilmar and Allan meet for the first time!”
http://community.webshots.com/photo/288607750/289427065gJwtem
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 12:34 PM
Happy Birthday Alex!
Speaking of April Fools, it may of been embarrassing, but being the victim of Bill and Joe’s April Fool’s joke has done wonders for your hit counter. By my calculation, in the last 45 hours, your site hits per day has risen to a little over 2,500 per day this equates to 75,000 per month. You are taking more hits than Oldcatman in a marijuana warehouse.
Look at the stats on BMEWS.
http://www.sitemeter.com/default.asp?action=stats&site=sm3BMEWS&report=58
http://www.sitemeter.com/default.asp?action=stats&site=sm3BMEWS&report=36
Congratulations are in order. Everyone give Vilmar and Allan a big hand. They are reaching the big time.
*Applause*
Bill and Joe explained the prank and fark.com has it on their site today. Your hit counter should continue to spin like a NASCAR driver’s odometer.
The stats didn’t come out right, let me try again. If this won’t work you can click on the site meter on the right of this page and pull up the graphs yourself.
http://sm3.sitemeter.com/stats.asp?site=sm3BMEWS
will get you there ....
Well the graphs still don’t work. OCM the warehouse was in Buda, Texas, but they busted it a couple of days ago. Sorry.
Allan, that got me there. Allan and Vilmar don’t like to blow their own horns, but everyone click on the Visits/Year link at the sitemeter.
Your subjects stand in awe of your power O Benevolent Dictator and Secretary of War.
Look at that Sitemeter!
Scrappleface launched a book based on the success of his blog. Allan can write a book titled, ”How I Fell For a Hoax Like a Ton of Bricks & Found Success In Blogging”.
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 01:17 PM
ATTENTION, PLEASE!
Everyone please read the post below this one entitled “Child Abuse”. We need your help identifying a criminal in our midst.
Ooooh! Allan, that ole 2 A.M. insomnia makes you touchy and grouchy! N’est ce-pas?
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 02:09 PM
SITE MODIFICATIONS!
No, this is not an April Fools Joke.
I have just finished making some PHP code changes to the site to fix something that has been bugging me for months.
When you receive e-mail notification of comments, the URL was being word-wrapped and truncated creating a bad link. That has now been fixed. I have also altered the notification code to strip out the long, confusing smiley links and only display the text label of the smiley.
These two mods should make life easier for all of us. We no return you to your regularly scheduled program .. already in progress ...
OCM got saved? OCM you must be going to a mountain pentecostal church. Handeling timber rattlers, and smoking poison to show that your under the lords hand and nothing can harm you. When did that happen?
Thanks, but my life was pretty easy before you made the changes.
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 02:58 PM
LCGeno: haven’t you noticed that, in his postings, OCM frequently “speaks in tongues”?
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 03:02 PM
OINK: go back to your pigs and sheep .. leave the real work to us professionals. we’re looking out for everyone here, including catamites.
Oink #21: out surfing the homo porn sites, I see!
Oh Hell Yes Oink. Also he practices the “laying on of bong”, and gets “words of knowledge” from High Times Mag.
Vilmar: I’m “print-oriented” a la McLuhan. I get my info from my subscription to Blue Boy.
I also get funny noises on my telephone. And a surprising number of repair vans parked in front of my property.
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 03:34 PM
All Mexican illegals are voluntarily going back to Mexico.
The ACLU and all its senior directors have been indicted on federal RICO charges.
Michael Moore choked to death on a chicken bone while eating a sandwich.
Jimmy Carter drowned while swimming in the Panama Canal.
Just planting “happy thought seeds"…
Terrorist crash a jet loaded with fuel into the Acadamy Awards Ceremony. Those not killed are disfigured by massive 3rd degree burns.
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 08:14 PM
I can flesh it out a bit, OCM. The jet hits just as Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, and Sean Penn are accepting a standing ovation for ”A Tribute to Jane Fonda”.
If it were to happen like that, even you would get religion, right?
Posted by Oink
04/01/2005 at 08:52 PM
Oink, good one!
OCM, sorry, but I have 3 MAJOR problems with ol’ Jimmy
piece of 
Carter, aside from having arguably one of the worst, if not THE worst, presidential records in history.
1. We are judged by the company we keep. Jimmy likes to snuggle-up with the likes of Fidel Castro and Michael Moore. That’ all I need to know.
2. Regardless of any legalities, Jimmy gave away the Panama Canal too easily. I was a bit young back then, but it seems there should have been more of a fight to keep it. It was built with our ingenuity, our skilled workers, and our money.
3. Most importantly, though, is what Jimmy did to unlock the Pandora’s Box of radical Islam by not backing the Shah of Iran which allowed the Ayatollah Khomeni to seize power. The Ayatollah smelled a soft underbelly in the US and took our embassy and all in it as hostages for over 400 days
. Except for one poorly planned, poorly manned, half-assed, and ultimately FAILED rescue attempt, Jimmy-boy did nothing. He weakened further our already weak image, gutted our military, and had a disastrous economic policy, just to name a few. Yeah, he can go on back to Georgia and just be quiet already.
04/01/2005 at 05:39 PM
