Moonbat judge sides with extinct woodpecker

 

1. Jeez-LaWeez! 

   Forget all that!  What does an Ivory-billed woodpecker taste like?

   It must be be as succulent and delectable as a well-scrubbed chess hottie (see post: “Women and chess don’t mix"), and an Aston-Martin Lagonda dipped in Nacho Cheese! 

   Make mine Extra crispy, with biscuits and gravy on the side!

   We must preserve this habitat and explore it gently! Gently I say! The way you would tenderly and lovingly explore an Australian chessmistress whose sly rookishness lies in her handling of your bishop and who could make a throbbing pawn of ummm…

   ... ah… ummmm...well…

   Nevermind.

   Posted by heldmyw       07/23/2006  at  12:10 AM  



2. Ever notice that species on the ‘endangered’ list aren’t viable commercially? Cows and pigs and chickens aren’t endangered. Nor are nightcrawlers. Fishermen need nightcrawlers.

   Posted by Christopher       07/23/2006  at  01:21 PM  



3. I guess that when you become a judge you sign a statement that says, “There ain’t no end to doin’ good!”

   Posted by rudebadger       07/24/2006  at  06:16 AM  



4. The simple 3-step cure for this problem:

   1: Shoot.

   2: Shovel.

   3: Shush.

   

   Posted by Rat Patrol       07/24/2006  at  01:01 PM  



5. I used to own a canoe but I sold it. Never had a kayak. But I know what and Ivory Billed woodpecker looks like. They’re still in all the bird books. Looks too much like a Pileated IMO, just a little bigger. If they haven’t found one in 60 years, let it go.

   But it turns out that the birder world has its feathers all puffed up over the “rediscovery”. And the birdie-tourists are flocking to the local towns down there, bringing in lots of money! And the discovery? Well, they didn’t catch one. They didn’t take a picture of one or record its call. Nope, one guy claims to have seen them. Once. Oh, and there’s a $10,000 reward offered by The Nature Conservancy for finding one. Hmmm.

   And this is the kayaker? Right ... and its not an April Fools joke he insists!

   BTW, the noise would give the birds stress? The birds?? Ever hear a bunch of big woodpeckers going at it? Sounds like jackhammers. You can hear them a mile away.

   Posted by Drew458       07/24/2006  at  07:25 PM  

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