Madam President

 

1. Instead of this, let’s have more about boogers.

   Posted by Oink       01/07/2006  at  02:29 PM  



2. I second that Oink. The picture on the left almost caused me to “blow chunks”

   Posted by LyndonB       01/07/2006  at  02:44 PM  



3. C’mon guys! It’s Saturday and I’m doing my very best to drag this blog as far down into the gutter as possible. Admit it! You thought Ms. Kerry was kinda cute, right?

   

   Posted by The Skipper       01/07/2006  at  02:50 PM  



4. Sorry Skipper but Ms Kerry looks like she hit every branch on the ugly tree!

   Posted by LyndonB       01/07/2006  at  02:54 PM  



5. Well, there goes my breakfast.

   

   Posted by Tannenberg       01/07/2006  at  03:00 PM  



6. LBJ: I thought British slang for blow chunks was “park a custard”.

   Skipper: The Good Ship BMEWS is sounding for a bottom, but has not found one yet.
   However, I can clearly hear to surf breaking on the coral reef.

   Posted by Oink       01/07/2006  at  03:05 PM  



7. Relax, Oink, that’s just Captain Bligh chasing Mr. Christian.

   

   Posted by Tannenberg       01/07/2006  at  03:19 PM  



8. ALL HANDS FORWARD!

   KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED, LADS! I FEAR A REEF IS NEARBY! ARRRGHHH!

   MR. CHRISTIAN, GIVE ME A SOUNDING! LET ME KNOW IF WE DROP BELOW THREE FATHOMS!

   (Skipper is now contemplating whether the time is “ripe” to spring the fart post on them)

   WOULD WHOEVER TOOK THE STRAWBERRIES PLEASE BE SO GOOD AS TO PULL MY FINGER!?!?!

   

   Posted by The Skipper       01/07/2006  at  03:56 PM  



9. Isn’t this an exciting ride?  Let me know when to brace for impact!

   Posted by Beccayinn       01/07/2006  at  04:34 PM  



10. Even at closing time I wouldn’t have done the one on the left!  There’s not enough tequila to make that one look good.

    Posted by Dr. Jeff       01/07/2006  at  04:39 PM  



11. I need a higher bid ... much higher ... and no kissing.

    [digs around for that old seabag for head covering ... decides to hit Oink up for his seabag too, for redundancy]

    Posted by StinKerr       01/07/2006  at  05:24 PM  



12. And a much higher bid PAID IN ADVANCE.  I’m damned if I’d trust anyone who’d try to set me up like this.

    

    Posted by Tannenberg       01/07/2006  at  06:47 PM  



13. Are you sure they’re not cross-dressers?

    Posted by piccalo       01/07/2006  at  08:41 PM  



14. John Kerry in drag? Yuck, yuck!!!!!!!!

    Posted by Dottie       01/07/2006  at  11:11 PM  



15. Kerr, et al., as the waves wash over the bow of the Good Ship BMEWS, and the stern rises magnificently in its death gasp, OINK regains consciousness and struggles to extricate himself from the tangled lines of the shattered mast.

    OINK swallows, savoring the taste of blood in his mouth, and, inexplicably, strawberries! He realizes that he is alone, the rest of the crew long since over the sides. The Skipper is also nowhere to be seen.

    “Aye, ye scurvy dogs! I’ve worn out more seabags than you have socks!”
    Fact is, OINK had two splendid seabags for many years. (NOT to be confused with faggoty ‘duffel bags’!) They have long since disappeared, either victims of moves, or more likely, gaffled by one of his children.

    Posted by Oink       01/08/2006  at  10:25 AM  

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