Learning British cuisine via Terry Pratchett
on 10/10/2014 at 08:32 AM
My imagination said it was sautéed live mice! Not so.
That did make me chuckle Chris. Mind you British cooking is still not much to write home about.
Oh, not sure I agree Lyndon. If stuff like C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s sausages-in-a-bun are ubiquitous in Britain, that would be something to write home about… if you survive the experience!
Finally! My 7th grade English teacher would be proud. I used ‘ubiquitous’ in a sentence!
Seriously, didn’t say it was great. I said it’s better than its reputation. That didn’t help, did it?
Typical Brit cooking - boil the veggies, discard the water, oh, and lots of the nutrients. Still, B&S is goooood!
Also known as “Bangers & Mash”. Gordon Ramsey told me that.
I’ve spent considerable time in England. Were it not for the Greek, Chinese, Italian and Indian restaurants, I’d have starved. One exception was a chain of restaurants called the Golden Egg. At least you could get good protein, but they still set records for the amount of grease on your plate.
English cooking is arguably the most tasteless, greasy, starchy pile of glop ever called food.
I remember one meal in particular at a relative’s house, where the beef, potatoes and peas had been boiled until they were all nearly the same color.
Don’t even mention that British delicacy, mutton. It seems a requirement that the fat be slightly rancid.
Now I get where Terry Prachett is coming from. Still, when I peruse actual recipes, British cuisine doesn’t LOOK as bad as Dr. Jeff relates. Never been to Britain.
Have been to France and Italy. Italy’s idea of a pizza sucks. Nor can Italians do spaghetti. A can of SpaghettiOs’s is better.
France? Have to admit the food was good. Dealing with the waiter? Not so much. Fortunately I knew enough French… but he was polite enough to tell me my pronunciation sucked. And he was polite about it. I later found out that the French are very gracious to Americans who try to speak French. They don’t mock such Americans to their face. They make fun of them elsewhere.
A lot has changed as Brits have developed a change of taste.
I haven’t been to anyone’s home for dinner for some ocassion where the colour was boiled out of the dish served. And our Christmmas dinner with close friends of many years is plus 10 on a scale of 1 to 5.
But I have to say, in these more global trading times, folks here exposed to lots more then ever before, and the supermarkets here are not super just cos some also sell cloths and jewelery.
The markets here are way better and have way more variety than any market we found in home state of Calif. Another plus at least in the ones in our immediate area, is that they have listened to their public and turned off the damn loud and annoying music.
Very much a plus for us.I’ve got to admit that it’s been a long time since I was in England. That particular grey meal was in Sheffield in 1967. Nice to know Brit cooking has improved since.
The British Empire had available to it foods and spices from all over the world. I never understood with all that available how did the Brits manage to develop such an abysmal national cuisine.
Now, Chris, you be careful around Nanny Ogg’s recipes! Some of those are pretty potent and can get a body riled right up. Ask anyone at the opera other than Dame Weatherwax.
On the other hand, Rat Onna Stick is pretty simple, as long as you remember the ketchup.
[ should we tell him that Nanny’s cookbook is actually for sale, and includes a safe recipe for wow-wow sauce, Knobby’s Mom’s Distressed Pudding, and even Quoth’s* favorite, sheep’s eyes? Unfortunately the dwarf bread recipe makes a loaf that is edible instead of weaponized. ]
* Quoth the raven, of course. What else would you name a raven? This one can fly across time and any other inconvenient dimension**.
** Quoth is the “steed” of Death Of Rats, the skeletal rat Little Death that is a small, wild, naughty bit of the larger DEATH. DEATH also has a steed, but more a classic kind since he is an anthropomorphic personification after all. DEATH rides a pale horse, of course.***
*** the pale horse’s name is Binky.
[ There. No proper comment on anything Pratchett is complete without at least 2 sub-levels of footnotes and side comments. Such is the Way, although not the way of Mrs. Cosmopolite****. ]
**** ask any monkish looking sweeper, or just keep reading.
I already have the pdf version of Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook. I also know that Susan Sto-Helit is Death’s grandchild and Quoth and the Death of Rats always brings Binky to her when Death is feeling a bit maudlin.
I just noticed a monk sweeping near me. He was proud to show me his bonsai mountains.
Dr. Jeff? How old are you?
That particular grey meal was in Sheffield in 1967.
I was only seven then.
I was 16 that year.
To be fair Dr. J things have moved on quite a bit since 1967. When I grew up in the 70’s they didn’t stock Olive oil in supermarkets, you had to buy it in tiny bottles in a chemist (Pharmacist) since the only known use for Olive oil was to soften ear wax! However with the increased trade with Europe we have got a lot of better food since. I have to say I have never eaten mutton and I would be hard pressed to find anyone I know who has. Maybe its a Northern thing?
I have lived in the US and I have to agree with JayD the food available in the UK now is far more varied than what you find in most US supermarkets. Maybe its different on the coasts? Though I did spend some time in Los Angeles and that didn’t really impress me either. The one thing you really struggle with is decent coffee. We used to have a good laugh at the Folgers ads. Most coffee in the US is more like drinking Bovril! You open the can and it smells ok, but when you make it its dreadful. Oh and don’t get me started on the baked beans in North America! Why would I want a chunk of pork fat in my beans? Is it something to dissuade the muslims
I’ve had bangers and mash! Yummy! Now, as for those pork faggots....
L. Hi.
We never got the beans with the pork either. Always preferred the vegetarian beans but found not all the brands were the same. And never buy Heinz cos of Kerry and his thick head wife. They won’t go broke but I don’t wanna help their retirement.I think maybe because I was a smoker for so long before quitting, I may have lost some sense of taste re. coffee. I do know some stand out but most of the time can’t tell difference between most of the brands with instant coffee. A village friend here with family connections to Italy likes Italian coffee but I think it’s tar. There’s one brand here and I forgot the company name, you’ll most likely know. “Lazy Sunday Morning” coffee. Not instant either. I could taste that okay. Oh, speaking of taste sense.
Years ago when on the road myself and the act I was representing were put up overnight in a private home due to some sort of hotel screw up. So the lady of the house made Sheppard’s Pie, which I like a lot (haven’t had in years sadly)and she made it with fresh pots.
But I couldn’t tell the difference between what she made, and what we did at home with instant pots. I can’t tell the difference. And both taste okay to me.
I guess another reason to be sorry I ever lit up way back when.
Funny thing tho. I could immediately tell the difference in cigarette taste when I (on very rare occasions) lit up a brand other than Luckies.I’ll agree with you about the coffee. Friends don’t let friends drink Folger’s. That stuff will give you bladder trouble.
My personal coffee at home is a Cuban Espresso blend I first found about 30 years ago in an Italian deli and later at Mexican markets. Some of my friends call it Cranker’s Choice. The brand has grown nicely and has since gone national. In Spanish, the name is The Key and it’s in a green and gold can.
Maybe my taste in food is biased by living in Los Angeles. We have more countries and ethnic groups here than the United Nations and every one has at least two good restaurants. If you’re a meat eater, you haven’t lived until you’ve been to a Brazilian restaurant. Mexican, Italian and Chinese are my staples. I love food with flavor and texture. I keep a bottle of Sriracha on my desk and I’ve been mainlining it since the 80’s.
Here’s the recipe for my favorite coleslaw. I found it in the middle of Nebraska at a dinner attached to a two pump gas station.
White Cabbage: 14.00 oz.
Sugar: 3.00 oz.
Celery Salt: 0.10 oz.
Celery Seed: 0.15 oz.
White Vinegar: 5.50 oz.
Salad Oil (cheap): 2.00 oz.I tried making it with Balsamic vinegar and Olive oil. It just doesn’t work, use only cheap stuff like you’d find in the middle of Nebraska.
10/10/2014 at 09:37 AM
