just too darn young to die. but they do.
on 12/08/2013 at 11:15 AM
First piece of advice for children, don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about you.
Second, no one who really likes you will say horrible things about you.
Third, people you go to school with don’t matter.
Fourth, People are mostly shit, and cruel, and will hurt you to make themselves feel better.
No one in school is worth more than you and no one is worth your life.All truths grayjohn, and all nearly impossible to accept when you are young.
Children are vile, cruel, self-centered, vicious barbarians. Period. Anyone - anyone! - who does not fit into the smallest middle group called “average” will have to fight or defend themselves nearly all their childhood. The pack-mind is very small and is always turned inward. If you are atypical you are on the outside and thus different, and therefore some kind of subconscious enemy to the group. And that’s the blunt truth.
Below average children, whether in looks, aptitude, or economic standing, sometimes get a bit of a break because they are not really a threat to the group. Above average children ARE a threat. They make the group average look stupid in comparison. Or less attractive. Or gawky/weak. Negative attributes are automatically assigned to these people: the smart kids MUST be snotty, and looking down on everyone, because they are smarter. Etc.
Certain atypical aspects MIGHT get a pass at certain points in the child’s life. Economics means very little to small children. We live in a culture which already worships athletic achievement, so as long as your little sports star isn’t twice the size of the other kids his/her age, he’ll get a pass. Plus, athletically superior people bring the unstated threat of more effective violence with them (being bigger, stronger, faster) which also garners them some respect/safety space. Beautiful children don’t get any real standing for their beauty until puberty hits. After that, attractiveness forms it’s own pecking order, and (at least on the female side of things) a whole new universe of nasty games, words, dramas.
While grayjohn’s words are very important for any exceptional kid to learn, they are only the beginning for the noticeably smarter than average kid of typical attractiveness. The better thing for a parent to do is to get that child out of the mass of common morons and into a school for the more intelligent. And then get them private transportation to and from such school. In a regular school system these kids are extremely vulnerable, and probably already the target of crap, and socially isolated because of their smarts. Add in the uncertainty of anyone going through adolescence, and now add common, group-wide belligerent intolerance for a physical aspect of themselves they have NO control over. Such as red hair.
Making bullying a hate crime is a waste of time. Pointing out the kids not to bully only further humiliates and isolates them. Training your child to be a fighter only works so much: no matter how many black belts the kid has, the whole group is always going to win when it’s 20 against 1. Fighting back through acerbic, lightning fast rapier wit is an adult defense that doesn’t work with children, upon whom a superior vocabulary/literary references/accurate psychological observations has no real effect.
I’m not sure what the right answer is, but if I had a smart kid to raise (I know I’ve said this kind of thing before) I would train them from infancy to AIM to be a C+/B- student until 10th grade. Hide your light under a bushel for your own safety. Period. Also, teach them to never volunteer an opinion or to put up a hand in class, no matter how much they may enjoy school. Meetings with teachers may be necessary: my child can run rings around you and your class of drippy little morons, but she is going to veg out and pretend to be a garden slug like all the other place holders. And THAT is what it takes to avoid bullying. Oh, and when two or three kids try to beat mine up, they find themselves kung-fued and jui-jitsued straight into the hospital, even from the 3rd and 4th grade playground. Oh, sorry, must have been an accident, oops. Funny how one or two of those accidents per year in the formative years keeps the physical bullies away for years and years.
So ... if you skimmed over that lecture, my short answer is NO. Bullying ought not to be a hate crime. A law is not the answer. By that point it’s too late anyway. Better parenting is the answer: less PC, stiffer upper lips, thicker skin. Raise tougher kids with truer self esteem. Because “everybody’s a winner just for participating” and “thanks for showing up, you’re wonderful!!” is false, and kids know it.
Now grow up, and be better parents. Getting bullied? Mouth off right back at them. Still getting bullied? Give ‘em a bloody nose or two until they get the message. And at the same time help your kid do a bit of self examination. Not that they’re to blame, not always. But it’s possible to tone down the behavior that gets you picked on sometimes, isn’t it?
Oh, and a bit of religion ... suicide is a sin ... couldn’t hurt. And a bit of actual communication before things get too late ... very helpful, what?
But if your otherwise popular, normal, average kid is getting it because she’s stuck in the bloody UK where they don’t like redheads, even when everyone’s favorite Royal is one himself ... well maybe then it’s time to put their ego on the offense. Those other kids are just jealous because they’re plain. Mousy browns, boring blacks, dull colored tow head blondes. Time to get your Irish up.
and of course, the same thing goes for whites as it does for reds. Peiper is begging the question, knowing full well how un-PC White Pride is these days, even on the Island Of White People. Gotta teach your kids some (plenty) of that too, since all the other darker kids get their daily/hourly dosage about how wonderful they are just to be some other shade.
In the long run, it really shouldn’t make any difference at all. Unfortunately, that long run seems to get further away from us every year, not closer. No matter how hard the white people try. Funny, that.
Kinda good stuff all - but come on - I was picked on for glasses, braces and being as skinny as heck. But I had two parents at home who valued hard work, learning everything you can (so as a ‘girl’ child I learned to shoot and mow the lawn - which was a big thing back then) and God and obedience. I was more afraid of my parents than any other ‘authority’ out there. Both among the predators and victims - too many kids are raised without two parents or both are working long hours (to get the ‘best of everything’) and have little adult examples, discipline and of course, it goes without saying - that there is almost no Godly instruction. And I believe that reverse discrimination is the new ‘norm’ right now.
Where is that - ‘you are your brothers keeper’ when you need it? Even out of context, it could be useful.
12/08/2013 at 07:07 PM
