Joke

 

1. two cannibals were eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks:

   “Does this tase funny to you ??”

   Posted by iteki       04/23/2005  at  08:11 AM  



2. 3. (redundant to #1):

   Q: Why don’t sharks eat clowns?
   A: They taste funny.

   4. The blonde lady went to her GYN for a checkup. After the procedure the GYN said, “You’re pregnant.”

   The blonde thinks a bit and then replies, “Is it mine?”

   5.
   Q: What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
   A: A good start.

   6.
   Q: How can you tell a politician is lying?
   A: His lips are moving.

   Posted by Cheese_tensor       04/23/2005  at  09:24 AM  



3. Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs who is floating in the sea?
   A: Bob.

   Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs who is laying on the floor?
   A: Mat.

   Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs who is hanging on a wall?
   A: Art.

   Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs who is buried under a scottish pond?
   A: Pete.

   Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs who is propping up a car?
   A: Jack.

   Posted by Cheese_tensor       04/23/2005  at  09:35 AM  



4. Cruel, cruel jokes Cheese. Steel thanks for telling a joke that I am smart enough to understand.

   Posted by Yellow Dog       04/23/2005  at  06:27 PM  



5. Little Jimmy is an 8 year old boy with no arms or legs. He is a shut in with no friends. One day a little boy rings the doorbell, and Jimmy’s mother answers. Another little boy about Jimmy’s age is standing there.

   Mother: Yes what can I do for you?

   Boy: Can Jimmy come out and play?

   The mother is so happy. Her little boy finally has a friend.

   Mother: Why yes, I’ll go get him.

   She returns with Jimmy in a wheelchair.

   Mother: What are you going to play?

   Boy: Baseball.

   Mother: Jimmy can’t play baseball, he has no arms or legs!

   Boy: Yes, but we lost our first base bag last week…

   Posted by Yellow Dog       04/23/2005  at  06:39 PM  



6. My HMO is terrible.  They charge me for a self-breast examination.  It’s a flat fee.

   Posted by Phoenix       04/23/2005  at  06:40 PM  



7. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?:
   One’s a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other one’s a fish.

   Jesus walks into a Holiday Inn with 3 stakes, throws them on the front desk and says to the desk clerk “Hey, can you put me up for the night?”

   Lincoln was Jewish.
   Know how you can tell?:

   ...Well his name was Abraham and he was shot in DA TEMPLE.
   (last one courtesy of Sen. Richard Durbin D.-ILL)

   Posted by Annoying Little Twerp       04/23/2005  at  09:18 PM  



8. what’s 14” long and hangs in front of an asshole ???

   a lawyers tie.
   ---------------
   anyone know how to save a drowning lawyer?

   1) no ?...........good!!
   2)remove your foot from the back of his neck

   Posted by iteki       04/24/2005  at  12:10 AM  



9. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales
   The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
   The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
   The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
   The teacher asked, “ What if Jonah went to hell?”
   The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

   A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
   As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
   The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
   The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
   Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

   Posted by iteki       04/24/2005  at  02:32 PM  

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