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Hang ‘Em High

 
 


Posted by The Skipper    United States   on 07/02/2005 at 12:56 PM   
 
  1. I’d tell her to kiss my ass, but I’m afraid she’d bite it.

    What a revolting ass she is.

    Posted by Phoenix    United States   07/02/2005  at  01:07 PM  

  2. "Comrade Sonja” Pelosi, shopworn cheerleader for the Quisling Party.

    Exile her?  She would simply go home, home to some arteriosclerotic remain of a country where her fellow socialist primates hold sway.

    Execution?  If it happened, my tear glands would greet the news with frank indifference.

    tongue laugh

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/02/2005  at  02:08 PM  

  3. Tann: who is “Frank” and why is he in difference? Where is “difference”? Is that where Pelosi would be exiled to? Do you think she and Frank would get along well? In difference, that is?

    LOL  beerstoyou

    Posted by The Skipper    United States   07/02/2005  at  02:16 PM  

  4. Touche’, Skipper.  Maybe I should have said that it wouldn’t faze me if somebody laid out the old hag with a tommy bar.  But I was trying, as always, to be a gentleman.

    Happy 4th of July, my friend.

    LOL

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/02/2005  at  03:12 PM  

  5. Attendéz, Monsieur Tann! I have a pitcher of margaritas I am working to wrap my digestive system around and a prime angus steak on le barbecue to seal the deal. Moi couldn’t resist poking un petit fun at vous! I hope your 4th is going as happily as mine. Régardez!

    LOL  flag  flag

    Posted by The Skipper    United States   07/02/2005  at  03:55 PM  

  6. So far so good, even though holidays are typically chore-catchup-time for me.  Enjoy the steak, Skip.  I wish I was there to help you eat it.

    flag

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/02/2005  at  05:14 PM  

  7. Tanny,

    I know what you can do with your hot dog with a head.  Put it in a bun!

    Not that this has a thing to do with Mrs. Pelosi.  Although ‘tommy bar’ made me think of a hot dog with a head, and I’m too lazy to scroll down one post. 

    Why did ‘tommy bar’ made me think of a hot dog with a head?  I don’t even know what a tommy bar is.

    You all stop wishing happy Fourth of July.  It’s only the 2nd.  Bad enough we gotta wish Merry Christmas for six weeks.

    Phoenix is NOT grouchy.  Her nap was disturbed, but that did not put her into a bad mood.
    It just made her tired.  :}

    Posted by Phoenix    United States   07/02/2005  at  05:24 PM  

  8. I like referring to myself as if I’m not me.

    I’m going to declare myself a member of the monarchy.

    I have to pick a monarchy though.  Monarchy of Wenches Who Hate Holidays.

    Monarchy of Corn Queens.

    Monarchy of Wenches Whose Legs Are Really Skinny Below the Knee.

    Monarchy of Wenches Who Would Rather Nap Than Vacuumn.

    Monarchy of The One Who Holds the Magic Decoder Ring.

    Monarchy of There’s a Dead June Bug on My Desk.

    Posted by Phoenix    United States   07/02/2005  at  05:30 PM  

  9. Phoenix, it sounds like you’re queen for a diverse day.

    Tommy bar?  I’ll explain.  It’s a British term I got into the habit of using.  You know that little sliding bar on C-clamp that you use to tighten it.  That’s a tommy bar.  Same with the sliding bar that’s used to work an old-fashioned screw jack.  On bigger hardware (jacks, spanners, clamps etc), the bar is detachable, and it makes a good mace.

    I don’t blame you for preferring a nap to a vacuum.  I’ve put my vacuuming off too, even though I was ambitious enough to get up early and plow through 6 loads of laundry.  The bachelor’s curse.

    Hope you get rested up.....

    wink

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/02/2005  at  05:38 PM  

  10. happy fourth!  I must procure some pyrotechnics so that my son’s education can begin.

    Posted by ztucka    United States   07/02/2005  at  05:44 PM  

  11. Tanny,

    Laundry is not just the bachelor’s curse.  I did some today - long overdue - and lost interest half-way through.  There’s a load in the washer and one in the dryer.  Ever left a load in the dryer so long the clothes came out in one huge dried donut of fabric?

    ztucka,

    It is the 2nd.  Happy 2nd of July if you must.  :} Get your little boy lots of sparklers.  They love ‘em!  Or those little blobs that you light and watch as they turn into wiggly snakes.  So cool !

    Posted by Phoenix    United States   07/02/2005  at  06:00 PM  

  12. ooops… Tanny, I meant to ask if you’d ever left a load of clothes in the WASHER.  Not the dryer.  Everyone does that.  If you leave them in the washer so long they dry, they come out like a fabric donut.  You have to break them apart.  But, really, what you is just wash them again.  And start the cycle over again.  Leave them in again.  There’s a very cool pun in there.  :}

    Posted by Phoenix    United States   07/02/2005  at  06:04 PM  

  13. Oh yes, Phoenix, I’ve been through the donut many times, and I’ve often embarrassed myself by overlooking one washer or dryer in a row of four or five, leaving it unstarted while the others were running.

    What really bugs me is the way that everything--shirts, pants, T-shirts, what have you--ALWAYS turns itself inside out, and stays that way. 

    wink

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/02/2005  at  06:20 PM  

  14. Sir Tannen Of Berg: there is a very good reason why clothes turn inside out. It happens during the agitation cycle and is caused by the water being forced back and forth causing currents through pants legs and shirt arms, etc. This current goes back and forth and eventually builds up like a tsunami forcing enough water into the current to build up pressure and force the outer walls (pants legs, etc.) to be pulled along with the current, causing the clothes to come out inside-out. This can be avoided by turning everything inside-out to start with but the laws of chaos theory dictate that some clothes will still be inside-out after the wash is done. It’s a zero-sum game. Laundry that is.

    Rub-a-dub-dub .... three men in a tub .... all have their underwear inside-out. Not one of them is Saddam Hussein. Hi-ho-merry-oh .....

    Another margarita, Skipper?

    Sure!

    LOL

    ARRR-ARR-ARRRHHH

    Posted by The Skipper    United States   07/02/2005  at  06:53 PM  

  15. I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again -I miss sooooooo much when I work on the weekend..........You are so funny about the laundry & vacuuming...........I sometimes forget when my uniforms are in the dryer- have to put them on “fluff-no heat” for awhile so that they are not wrinkled as who wants to iron????  My vacuum cleaner is “my best friend” - have 2 cats who wrestle & play with each other - the fur goes flying everywhere..........after working 2 or 3 days in a row (12 hour shifts, mind you) the first day off is spent vacuuming “everything” - the carpets, the sofas, my bedspread as they wrestle with each other on my bed during the night!!  Me? Have no clue as when I sleep, I go dead to the world!!!  My friend once said that my entire house could be lifted during the night & I wouldn’t ever know about it!!! and he’s so right!!

    Posted by Dottie    United States   07/02/2005  at  08:11 PM  

  16. Nice dissertation on the washing-machine-tsunami, Captain.  It was so nice I think I peed my pants.  Now I have to take them off and put them into the washing machine.  oh, wait.. there’s a Fabric Donut in there at this moment.  Dang!  I know! I’ll plop the just-peed-in britches on the floor in the laundry room and get a screwdriver and jack hammer and a tommy bar and pry a dry pair of jeans from the donut.  That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

    What kind of washers do you guys use??  Mine doesn’t turn stuff inside out.  But it does something cool.  It takes stuff out of pockets.  Did you know a Jolly Rancher can go through an entire ‘heavy’ load and stayed wrapped-up and firm?

    Dottie, my vacuum cleaner is my best friend, too.  I get it out and then decide I hate it so much I don’t want to play with it.  I leave it out in my living room like a suction soldier with a long black tail on guard duty for days and days.  Sometimes it becomes a best friend again simply by being there like part of the furniture.  It is a nice color.

    Posted by Phoenix    United States   07/02/2005  at  08:52 PM  

  17. I appreciate the explanation, Skip.  No wonder I got a “D” in physics.  All I know is, it doesn’t matter whether I put the bloody clothes in the washer right-side-out or wrong-side-out, it always comes out wrong-side-out.  And if there is more than one long-sleeved shirt in the mix, then they come out with arms tightly twined about each other.  Never fails.

    If I ever lose a pack of Rolaids, I know where I’ll find them.  Not to mention all the spare change I missed.

    Sometimes I think ghouls dwell in washers.  But I suppose I wouldn’t get better than a “D” in theology, either.  Once I did find the other guy’s spare change in the washer.

    Enjoy the margaritas, Skip.  I’m settling for my cherry schnapps and a dash of our fabulous local strawberry wine.

    I got “A+” in Social Conduct 101.

    wink

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/02/2005  at  09:02 PM  

  18. Allan ...

    Your theory is almost correct.

    The reason they turn inside out is because the seams are in the inside and the seams
    ‘grab’ the turbulence much as sails in the wind.

    Cetrifugal (sic) force aids in this endeavor.

    If you need further proof ...

    Have you ever seen a tee-shirt turned inside out?

    Or a sock?

    ... or a towel?

    Posted by Steel Turman    United States   07/02/2005  at  11:18 PM  

  19. Steel,

    1- It’s not a theory

    2- It comes directly from the web page of Maytag.

    3- How does one turn a towel inside out?

    4- Do you not have anything better to do than attempt to contradict me at every turn?

    Posted by The Skipper    United States   07/03/2005  at  02:12 AM  

  20. 4. Yes, I do.

    3. Joke.

    2. The Chinese just bought them.

    1. There was NO contradiction ... just an illumination ... a furtherance of your comment if you will. More specific in physics than ‘creating a tsunami’ I dare say.

    Posted by Steel Turman    United States   07/03/2005  at  02:24 AM  

  21. Steel, take it somewhere else. I am weary of your constant attempts to prove your higher intelligence to us lesser mortals. Go look up “patronizing” in the dictionary. Then figure out why it irritates people like me so much when you do it.

    Posted by The Skipper    United States   07/03/2005  at  02:38 AM  

  22. This thread crystallizes the beauty of this blog.  We start out with the Wicked Witch of the Left Coast and end up wrangling about the physics of a laundry load.  Maybe I can close the loop by asking what would happen if someone ran “Comrade Sonja” through the wash.  An inside-out version of her might be an improvement?

    wink

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/03/2005  at  08:26 AM  

  23. Tanney - isn’t this blog the greatest????!!!!!!!

    Posted by Dottie    United States   07/03/2005  at  09:03 PM  

  24. It sure is, Dottie, thanks to all the fine folks we have here, and I’m glad you’re one of them.  Do you still have lots of butterflies?  They’ve been kinda scarce around here this spring and summer, except for the sulphurs.  I haven’t seen the first buckeye, and only one or two tigertails.

    wink

    Posted by Tannenberg    United States   07/03/2005  at  09:13 PM  

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