Fractured Fairy Tales
Little Saddam,
Made a big bomb,
And blew all the Kurds away.President George Bush
Gave the button a push,
and Saddam is gonna pay.Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a weaselThe day she took them both to school
She got run over by a diesel.LC
Close...but not quite 2 Live Crew!
My grandmother used to tell me the little girl...curl one all the time.(I’ve got naturally curly hair.)
Now you’ve scarred me for life.
Cool.
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
08/19/2005 at 02:07 PM
Mary had a little lamb,
It’s Fleece was white as snow.
Everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.It followed Mary to school one day,
and was killed by a big yellow dog.Posted by SFCHUD
08/19/2005 at 02:08 PM
Jack and Jill went up the hill
they each had a dollar and a quarter,
Jill came down with $2.50
do you think they went after water?Posted by piccalo
08/19/2005 at 03:36 PM
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And said “What’s in the bowl, bitch?”
Andrew “Dice” ClayLittle Boy Blue
Come blow your horn
The sheep’s in the meadow
The cow’s in the cornWhere is the boy
Who looks after the sheep?
He’s up in the haystack
With Little Bo-Peep-----------
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And she beat the shit out of him with her spoonLittle Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And said “What’s in the bowl, bitch?”Not Andrew Dice Clay. My next door neighbor taught this to me when I was 5 years old back in the fifties. I promptly recited it to my mother and got my mouth washed out with soap.
Mary had a little lamb
She took it to bed with her
The ram turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a little lambMary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
When Old MacDonald had a farm
You should have seen his eyes
Why have I never heard any of these before? Is it some old people thing?
You guys are GOOD!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Dottie
08/19/2005 at 07:38 PM
I’m claiming authorship on the Boy Blue/Bo-Peep one. The rest I’ve heard over the decades. I’ve also been admonished in the past for teaching some of them to small children.
Some Sis-in-laws have no sense of humor.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I love peanut butter,
Let’s fuck.Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard,
To fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover drove ‘er,
‘Cause Rover had a bone of his own.This is your fault, Dick, you reminded me of another one:
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor daughter a dress
When she got there the cupboard was bare
And so was her daughter, I guessJack & Jill went up the hill,
Riding on the back of an elephant.
Jill jumped off and
helped jack off the elephant!Posted by SFCHUD
08/20/2005 at 02:35 AM
Mea culpa Stin. Good thing we stuck to corrupted nursery rhymes and stayed away from limericks and bawdy barracks ballads. Imagine the outpouring from dusty memory bins that would trigger. Goodbye bandwidth.
You’ve got that right, Dick. Limericks and bawdy ballads would have been the death of the site.
Barnacle Bill the Sailor might have shut it down for good.
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