Deja Vu All Over Again
NEWS FLASH!!!
Monday, November 07, 2005 1:30PM
President Bush May Send Up To 5 Marines For French Assistance
President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France’s ass out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush doubts France’s ability to hold off the little pissants. “Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now,” said Bush. Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.
President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The less they stand out the better.
I’m all for loading up a boat, hell, several boats.....of muslims. I’ll even kick in for some of the portage.
Posted by piccalo
11/08/2005 at 08:06 PM
The picture says it all.
That photo is a consideral technical triumph, in my unexpert opinion. Nitpicking point—they’re out of step. Maybe that’s symbolic, I dunno.
Posted by Oink
11/08/2005 at 08:13 PM
Five words to make your heart stop. Islamic Vichy France Nuclear Weapons.
France has nuclear weapons and is known to reliably surrender.
Question 1. Are US forces capable of invading France faster than France can surrender to Islamic terrorists, I mean youths?
Question 2. Is it possible for France to premptively surrender?
Question 3. Did anyone remember to install escalators on the Normandy beaches last time?
Question 4. Since invading France never seems to keep it free from fascists or communists, can we just nuke it this time?
Posted by No Blood For Frogs
11/08/2005 at 08:39 PM
Twelve nights of rioting, arson, over 5000 cars burned, police wounded, and they institute a curfew. Breach of curfew could mean a fine or two-month jail sentence.
Description of French History—Dictatorship interrupted by rioting.
Posted by Oink
11/08/2005 at 08:52 PM
I think we should Nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Ho-ho-hold on one second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.
Posted by Oink
11/08/2005 at 09:20 PM
"All right. We got seven cansisters of CN-20. I say we roll them in there and nerve gas the whole f**king nest.”
OK. I’ll deliver the “Aliens” punchline here ....
“They mostly come at night. Mostly ...”
Skipper, you seriously need you own radio show. Think of all the fun you could have with movie sound-bites!!
I’ve heard that it’s a midnight curfew. Yeah, that’ll stop ‘em. Burn and riot till 11:45 then go peacefully home. Wouldn’t want to violate the curfew ya know.
No sense in overreacting, eh, Jacques? I mean, it’s not quite two weeks that this
has been going on....
Oh, I see just now on Fox that they have
finallydeclared a “state of emergency”. I know that I’m impressed.
Riots still happening. Damn the declarations, get some force in there if you’re going to save yourselves.
Hmm, maybe that’s something that they’re not used to doing.
“Hey Chirac, have you ever been mistaken for a man?”
Posted by Oink
11/08/2005 at 09:55 PM
KC’s was more creative. I almost spewed on my screen too. I was scrolling thru a list of Aliens quotes & saw “Hey Vasquez” ... and it hit me like a lightning bolt. The Marines got their butts kicked rather thoroughly in that movie, did they not? It’s what happens when you go into a situation cocky and full of testosterone without listening to someone who’s been there. Ripley is a personal hero of mine.
Speaking of being mistaken for a man. You being a female and all .... to help us remember that fact, could you put a ribbon or skirt on that furry little thing? (I’m talking about your Avatar!
)
Posted by Oink
11/08/2005 at 11:33 PM
"Hey Chirac, have you ever been mistaken for a man?”—Now THAT’S a punchline, Oink!!
Sudden insight—thanks Dot! In a previous joke BMEWS subject “Possible Side Effects Include” Dottie told how she carefully checks her patients’ meds. I responded that people piss me off who take whatever their Doc gives them, not even knowing what it is. They’re KoolAid Drinkers. (Jonestown, Guyana)
Ding! Who are we talking about here? People who sit back passively, taking whatever they’re given, afraid of the real world, praying to Big Jim to protect & take care of them, terrified of acting on their own to save themselves, ignoring the obvious disaster about to consume them… THE FRENCH!
Screw the Beaujolais Nouveau! How’s the KoolAid crop coming along Jacques?
Posted by Oink
11/09/2005 at 01:12 AM
To answer Phobos’ question: Assuming that local authorities were overwhelmed, I see the governor(s) of the state(s) calling out the National Guard to put down any riots by the second day. (Louisiana’s governor may be an exception depending on political considerations.)
There will be no need for federal intervention unless things got really, really out of hand. Indeed federal intervention would likely be illegal. Posse Comitatus and all that. That’s why the guard would be called out by the state governor(s). They can do that, the President has a higher standard to deal with in using troops to police within the country. (I’m thinking Eisenhower and Kennedy did it to enforce federal desegregation laws when the governors didn’t.)
I believe that this is what happened during the riots of 1967. The states took care of it with their own Guard units and State Police. I didn’t see it first hand as I was away at “summer camp” (Naval Training Center, Great Lakes, Illinois) at the time. (Hey, it was free and it seemed like a good idea at the time, losing my student defferment and all that. I figured I had five choices, all of which seemed to involve a uniform and marching.)
1967...The states took care of the roits… If I remember correctly in Detroit it was the 101 Airborne that finally put the issue to bed. They did a proper job even if they weren’t Marines. Where was Posse Comatatus then?
This a doorway to 72 virgins. Enough said
Oink, luckily I’d swallowed my coffee before I read your question to Chirac - THAT was classic!!
Also, Len-KC, we had the same post on our Marine Message Board yesterday - I suggested a squad of menopausal WMs {BTW, Oink, we WMs are now referred to as “Wookie Monsters” by the young’uns ..................... it’s better than “BAMs”
Also, I’m taking this opportunity to announce the impending marriage of the FodGuy’s & my daughter to a young, hardcharger, currently stationed in Okinawa - they’re gonna have a civil ceremony while he’s here on leave - the formal, ‘invitin’ folks’ deal will be in May, 2007, when he’ll be back stateside ........................}
Posted by Diamond Mair
11/09/2005 at 12:18 PM
Congrats and thanx Mair!
Skipper, we have a business opportunity here! Let’s offer a full line of Screen and Keyboard Spew Protectors. I could use one, altho I’ve mostly learned to swallow my beverage before opening up BMEWS.
Posted by Oink
11/09/2005 at 12:26 PM
Thanks, BC. As I said, I was otherwise occupied and got my news at the time third hand at best. Looking around a little bit I get the impression that rioting in Buffalo, my primary concern at the time, was put down by the local authorities yet I recall hearing that the Guard was patroling the streets in affected areas.
As to your question:
Congress has ... approved the use of the military in civilian law enforcement through the Civil Disturbance Statutes: 10 U.S.C., sections 331–334. These provisions permit the president to use military personnel to enforce civilian laws where the state has requested assistance or is unable to protect civil rights and property. In case of civil disturbance, the president must first give an order for the offenders to disperse. If the order is not obeyed, the president may then authorize military forces to make arrests and restore order
I lifted that from here
Wikipedia also gives an explanation.
“Hey Chirac, have you ever been mistaken for a man?”
I’ve been mistaken for a boy before, but that’s another story for another time.
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