Chinese Calendars

 

1. OH Benevolent Dictator
   As one of your loyal subjects, I must express a growing concern at the above article.
   I know that your into cycling, which is good exercise, etc, and doesn’t send up any red flags in and of itself. But I’m thinking cycling, Chinese astrology, Feng Shui, this is sounding too Boulderish.
   Are your loyal subjects going to have to drag you into a VRWC intercession meeting?
   Please, for all of us, immerse yourself into some VRWC/Redneck Therapy.
   Grab your gun or fishing pole. A can of Copenhagen Long Cut. A case of working mans beer, Bud, Coors, PBR, brand isn’t as important as the fact that it is working mans beer, not Yuppie-fied spit blueberry brownsugar stout gag choke. Now then head for a good place to kill some wildlife. Once you have your daily bag limit or are incoherently drunk, or both, head home. While on the way home, make one honest attempt at driving into the road side barrow ditch in an attempt to run over a feral cat. Success isn’t as important as making a honest attempt. If you were in the west I would suggest a ground squirrel or preferably one of the multiple millions of the “nearly extinct” black footed prairie dogs that infest the plains. Since you don’t have prairie dogs (want some, the good people of the west will send some to you for free, even pay for the shipping), and I don’t know about ground squirrels in your part of the country, a feral cat will work just as good. So, now your home. Continue your drinking, but convert to the hard stuff. Attempt to cook what you’ve killed. Make sure it is cooked throughly, you don’t need to pick up any parasites. As you are by now blind drunk, you will probably burn the shit out of your dinner. Thats O.K., “if you kill it, eat it”, your so drunk by now that you’ll think its a tender piece of Filet Mingon anyway. Attempt to get your plates into the sink, if they end up on the floor thats all right, the plates can stay there until your hangover wears off. Make Damn sure your stove is turned off, don’t burn your house down in a drunken state. Then sit on the sofa and watch Fox news while continuing to drink. Yell incoherently at snippits of Teddy and Boxer, while still drinking until you pass out.
   There you have it. A sure fire VRWC/Redneck Therapy session guaranteed to, at the very least, cleanse these unwholesome thoughts of “Chinese astrology, and Feng Shui” from your system.

   Your concerned subject
   LC Geno

   Posted by LC Geno       02/06/2005  at  04:52 PM  



2. um....I’ll take the cash equivalent instead....thanks.*runs like hell*

   Posted by Annoying Little Twerp       02/06/2005  at  05:24 PM  



3. LC, can’t do the drinking thing.  After two I get either shit faced and puke or shit faced and fall asleep.

   I can get into the shooting and hunting, though.

   All the other stuff is icing.

   Posted by Vilmar       02/06/2005  at  05:50 PM  

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