Black Friday
Like you Skipper, I also worked retail (two WalMart type stores in Kentucky, Bigg’s (now out of business) and Meijer) so I know the joys (HA) of working Black Friday and the days before Christmas. Never got punched, but yelled at a few times.
We’re not going out today for a few reasons:
1) Jas has to work today. How long? Who knows. It’s crunch time before deployment. Anything goes.
2) Short on money - it’s the end of the payperiod. (Also waiting to see what I get in the mail today, as yesterday was my 29th birthday)
3) There’s a few inches of snow around and I really don’t feel like driving around in a 93 Escort that admittedly is on its last legs with two hyper kids in the backseat (did I mention they’ve been out of school since Tues afternoon?)The worst experiences when working retail during this time of year hands down has to be the times that the credit card machines would be overworked so bad that they would all just DIE. That found us dragging out the credit card imprinter and forms. Made for some real fun, lemme tell ya…
I hate shopping. Today, you would have to melt me down and pour me into the car to get me to go.
Madness! Madness! Exterminate the Brutes!Posted by Oink
11/25/2005 at 10:40 AM
I get to go in to work today, leave in about 4 minutes in fact. I do work retail, have for a couple years now. They like me because I’m able to calm people down before they demand the managers (to save $.23). I’m one of those people who can always keep a smile on my face while dealing with assholes. It promises to be a fun night.
I would also just like to say that if everyone put stuff back where it belonged when they decide they don’t want it, take that extra 2 seconds of your day, we’d be able to be a lot more available for your abuse rather than spending all that time cleaning up after people. Keep that in mind this Christmas season.
Skipper I also served some time in retail. An experience never to be repeated! I also agree that standards have declined and people are decidedly ruder nowadays. In my current employment I have to deal with joe public and what an unsavoury bunch most of them are! There is no respect for authority nowadays. I have come to the conclusion that 80% of the public are oxygen thieves and we would be no worse off without them! Consequently I am nearly always polite to sales people and officials.
OCM; I would have never figured you for the Ebenezer type! (he says, tongue firmly fixed in cheek!)
I also say BAH! HUMBUG! And will say it many times during the next month. Everybody around our T’giving table agreed, this is our favorite Holiday. No buying, wrapping, decorating hassles.
I was assigned the dreaded task of 6 PM last-minute shopping on Thanksgiving Eve at WalMart. Reminds me of that new TV show, ”I Shouldn’t Be Alive!” -- people who escaped being buried in avalanches, etc. Anyhow, I spent much time giving myself a pep-talk, “Be patient, don’t be a prick, keep your mouth shut, you may be old and stupid yourself someday OINK (like the old shithead in line in front of me who appeared to unaware that payment is required & had to start by finding her checkbook in her purse)
Posted by Oink
11/25/2005 at 01:22 PM
OCM I too once enjoyed the spiritual side of Christmas. However now that it starts at the end of September (in the UK at least) a lot of the charm has gone by December 25th…
Skipper—excuse the length, but everyone should sing this classic!
Green Christmas by: Stan Freberg 1958SCROOGE: Bah, humbug, everybody.
CHORUS: Good morning, Mr. Scrooge!
SCROOGE: Well, the meeting will come to order, if you please. Are all the advertising people represented here?
CHORUS: Everyone except Amalgamated Cheese!
SCROOGE: Well, if they’re not here for the Christmas pitch, I can’t help them find new ways of tying their product in to Christmas. That’s why I’m chairman of this board! Let’s hear it for me!
CHORUS: Hear, hear!
SCROOGE: All right, Abercrombie, what are your people up to?
ABERCROMBIE: Ahhh, same thing as every year. Fifty thousand billboards showing Santa Claus pausing to refresh himself with our product.
SCROOGE: Mmmmm, hmmm, well, I think the public has come to expect that and . . .
ABERCROMBIE: That’s right. It’s become tradition!
SCROOGE: You there, Crass, uhh, I suppose your company’s running the usual magazine ads showing cartons of your cigarettes peeking out of the top of Santa’s sack?
CRASS: Better than that! This year we have him smoking one.
SCROOGE: Um-hmmm…
CRASS: Yes. We’ve got Santa a little more rugged, too. Both sleeves rolled up and a tattoo on each arm. One of ‘em says “Merry Christmas.”
SCROOGE: What does the other one say?
CRASS: “Less tar!”
SCROOGE: Great stuff!
CRATCHET: But Mr.Scrooge…
SCROOGE: What? Who are you?
CRATCHET: Bob Cratchet, sir. I’ve got a little spice company over in East Orange, New Jersey. Do I have to tie my product in to Christmas?
SCROOGE: What do you mean?
CRATCHET: Well, I was just going to send cards out showing the three wise men following the Star of Bethlehem…
SCROOGE: I get it! And they’re bearing your spices. Now that’s perfect.
CRATCHET: No, no… no product in it. I was just going to say, “Peace on Earth… Good Will Toward Men.”
MAN: Well, that’s a peculiar slogan!
SCROOGE: Old hat, Cratchet! That went out with button shoes! You’re a businessman . . . Christmas is something to take advantage of!
SCROOGE: A red and green bandwagon to jump on!
SCROOGE: A sentimental shot in the arm for sales! Listen!CHORUS: Deck the halls with advertising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
While you can be enterprising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
Four bars of soap,
Three cans of peas,
Two breakfast foods,
And some toothpaste on a pear tree!
On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me. . .SCROOGE: Five tube-less tires!
CHORUS: Fo-ur quarts of gin,
Three ci-gars,
Two cig-ar-ettes,
And some hair tonic on a pear tree!
Chest-nuts roasting. . .ANNOUNCER: Sayyyy, Mother, as sure as there’s an X in Christmas, you can be sure those are Tiny Tim Chestnuts roasting. Tin-y Tim Chestnuts are frill-bodied . . . longer lasting! This visible shell protects the nut! Now with X-K 29 added, for people who can’t roast after every meal.
GIRL TRIO: Tin-ee Tim! Tin-ee Tim! Chest-nuts all the way!
ANNOUNCER: Tin-y Tim’s roast hot… like a chestnut ought! And.. . they are
(ECHO) mild, mild, mild, mild.CHORUS: Deck the halls with advertising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
‘Tis the time for merchandising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Profit never needs a reason,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Get the money, it’s the season,
Fa la la la la la la la la.SCROOGE: Words to live by, Cratchet!
CRATCHET: For you, maybe. Can’t you just wish someone merry Christmas, for the pure joy of doing it?
SCROOGE: Why? What’s the percentage in that? Let me show you how to make Christmas work for you!CHORUS: We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
And please buy our beer!SCROOGE: There you go, Cratchet! That’s Christmas with a purpose.
CRATCHET: I know, but wait a minute. Don’t you guys make enough profit the other eleven months? Christmas comes but once a year.
SCROOGE: Humph! Funny thing you should bring that up. That’s exactly the point I was about to make. Hit it, boys!
SCROOGE: Christmas comes but once a year,
So you better make hay while the snow is falling,
That’s opportunity calling you!
CHORUS: Rub your hands, December’s here,
What a wonderful time to be Glad and merry!
SCROOGE: Just so you’re mercenary too!
CHORUS: Buy an ad and show all the toys,
Show all the toys up on the shelfSCROOGE: Just make sure that you get a plug,
You get a plug, In for yourself!SCROOGE AND CHORUS:
Christmas comes but once a year,
So you better cash in,
While the spirit lingers,
It’s slipping through your fingers,
Boy! Don’t you realize
Christmas can be such a
Monetary joy!CRATCHET: Well, I guess you fellows will never change.
SCROOGE: Why should we? Christmas has two s’s in it, and they’re both dollar signs.
CRATCHET: Yeah, but they weren’t there to begin with.
SCROOGE: Eh?
CRATCHET: The people keep hoping you’ll remember. But you never do.
SCROOGE: Remember what?
CRATCHET: Whose birthday we’re celebrating.
SCROOGE: Well, ....... don’t get me wrong. The story of Christmas, in its simplicity, is a good thing - I’ll buy that. It’s just that we know a good thing when we see it.
CRATCHET: But don’t you realize Christmas has a significance, a meaning.
SCROOGE: A sales curve! Wake up, Cratchet, it’s later than you think.
CRATCHET: I know, Mr. Scrooge, I know.CHORUS: On the first day of Christmas,
The advertising’s there, with
Newspaper ads,
Billboards too,
Business Christmas cards,
And commercials on a pear tree. . .
Jingles here, jingles there,
Jingles all the way.
Dashing through the snow,
In a fifty-foot coup-e
O’er the fields we go,
Selling all the way. . .
Deck the halls with advertising,
What’s the use of compromising,
Fa la la la la la la la la.Posted by Oink
11/25/2005 at 01:59 PM
Today I am in a “Bah Humbug” mood, due to the actions of my second son who is here for the Thanksgiving holiday & had the “decency” to spend 2 frigging hours with me.........But I’ll get over it - tomorrow is another day............I make most of my Xmas gifts - pics I have taken over the past year for family & friends....Stin - the magnets will be coming soon......I spluge on my grandaughter - she is worth it............This afternoon I put up the Xmas lights outside - it lifts my spitits to do the decorating........
Posted by Dottie
11/25/2005 at 08:32 PM
ROFLOL...."Oxygen thieves”....LOL...Good one. I think I’ll pilfer that expression.
Well, I did go today but later in the morning, after the madness subsided..somewhat. I did hear horror stories from cashiers, though.
Little old ladies running down aisles before the sun came up....a brawl in a local store...the proliferation of the “F” word around children...etc.
Posted by CharmingBarracuda
11/25/2005 at 08:59 PM
My best anti-Christmas tale was the argument that broke out in the parking lot, that, had some men not intervened, might have come to fisticuffs. It was in the St. Anthony parking lot after Midnight Mass. Kinda captures the spiritual side of Christmas, right?
Oxygen Thieves is good. I’ve heard of “Turners”. People whose only purpose in life is to turn food into
Posted by Oink
11/25/2005 at 09:27 PM
I join you in your Humbugs, OCM and Dottie
Today my spirits were lifted........one of the young nurses at work was enthralled that I had visited the Galapagos Islands last year - she told me that she wants to go there some day - so I took in for her several of the magnets I made last year of the boobies, tortoises & sea lions - she was so excited & gave me a big hug..............Tomorrow morning (she is working 11pm to 7am) I will take my laptop into work so that she can see all the pics I took in the Galapagos.............I adore this young nurse & her enthusiasm - one doesn’t see it very often.........
Posted by Dottie
11/26/2005 at 09:52 PM
OCM - NOT the boobies you are thinking of!!!!!! Referring to the blue footed, red footed & nazca boobie birds of the Galapagos Islands - not my fault these birds are called boobies.....
Posted by Dottie
11/27/2005 at 09:46 PM
11/25/2005 at 01:06 PM
