Better Living Through Chemistry
I just took two of those ... I’ll call ya in the morning.
Posted by Steel Turman
04/16/2005 at 07:17 PM
Are you down, honey? Call me in the morning. I’ll get you back up.
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 12:06 AM
Then I’d need ‘fuckitall’.
Posted by Steel Turman
04/17/2005 at 12:10 AM
"Fuckitall’? Is that the street version of the BIG Viagra? Silly boy..... You don’ need any of that..... Trust me, honey..
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 12:19 AM
I’m convinced.
Why aren’t you at church?
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 10:01 AM
It’s not time for church yet. I am listening to KVET Sunday Morning Gospel on the radio right now.
I’m listening to Led Zeppelin “Goin’ to California”. Church ‘round these parts where I live lasts all day. The black churches rock. The preacher says, “Amen”, about every two seconds, and the congregation responds loudly and joyously with, “Yeah, Lawd!” Then someone gets the spirit when the choir sings and stands up, throws their hands up in the air and finds themselves dancing down the aisle to the alter. Then it turns into a rock show… well, a Rock for God show, and the church wavers on its foundations. Old men wiggle and shake and enjoy the large bosoms doin’ the boogie all around them. Little kids get crushed, but they don’t mind. Then they have a big feast with lots of fried chicken. Beats Catholic mass if you ask me. I don’t go to church, but if I did, I’d go to a black church.
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 10:34 AM
Yes, Great Man of the Puss: CHURCH.
hmmmmmmmmmm… Did I spell it wrong??
C H U R C H
I think that’s right. It’s where you go to look better’n everyone else and get a cracker.
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 10:39 AM
So much for my tongue. I have a nice dose of reality to face at this church-like moment of solemnity: I have to rush down to the local pharmacy where a fax for a Promisory Note of Payment awaits me from some old codger in Durango, Colorado. My darling son is in jail for driving without a license. A mere $17,500 bond.
Praise the Lawd and HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 11:23 AM
Lawww,no, Old Puss the Great… I live 3,000 miles away from Colorado. No, wait… that would be Great Old Puss. Yep. That’s better. I got a free Coke at the drug store where I had to wait for my fax from the bail bondsman. Two small Mexicans were sending money to Mexico, and while I was waiting, after the hurly burly of talking to sheriffs, a sorely distressed son with jail-pillow dust on his head, and Ron, the man into bonding and god knows what else - I heard little chirping fucking birds in the background and children playing - I was sorely distressed myself what with all this early morning action, and my arms went numb from my shoulders to my elbows and it occurred to me that I was going to pass out. I had to sit down next to some wine. I leaned on some Chardonnay while I gathered myself back to function-form. Or form-function. I can never remember whether form follows function or function follows form.
My son is in Durango. In jail. Do you live in Peonie Springs? Everything in CO has ‘springs’ after it.
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 12:30 PM
This is a secret: I have math-hyperbole. No, I do not live in a dingie off-shore thriving on flying fish who come to me when I yodel at twilight. It’s actually 2,300 miles from Duhrango. 33 hours by car in one trip. Do you live anywhere near the Durango Jailhouse? Could you go throttle my child for me and tell him to quit thinking life is a bowl of cherries. Or at least tell him he’s had his share and to stop this minute.
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 12:49 PM
Phoenix, you had kind of a taxing morning. I didn’t make it to church.
Take two Fuckitol, wash it down with a bottle of wine and call me in the morning.
$17,500???
You sure that was the offense?
Sounds like maybe a DUI. I don’t think ya go to jail for ‘NO LICENSE’.
Posted by Steel Turman
04/17/2005 at 09:06 PM
Sigh. Another case of misplaced comma. The bail was $10,750.00. He lost his license a couple of months ago and spent the night in jail. Since, he missed a court date, and last night got caught driving. He was arrested and spent the night in jail. He called this morning from the jail. I talked with some sheriff and got the numbers of bail bondsmen in Durango, called one, got stuff taken care of via fax, promissory note for all that money, paid the bondman $1,633.00 for his services and asked him a bunch of questions the sheriff couldn’t answer. In Colorado driving on a suspended license is an automatic ten-thousand-dollar fine. The failure to appear was the rest. Ron, the friendly and richer bondsman said Parker was looking at about five days in jail and a year’s suspension of his license. I had to call Ron back many hours later because I can’t get in touch with Parker. Ron assured me he met with him at the jail and told him to call him mom straightaway. He didn’t. I pressed Ron to tell me that he explained to Parker that I’d be out a pile of money if Parker pulls this stuff again. He assured me he did.
Posted by Phoenix
04/17/2005 at 09:30 PM
Thank you, Puss. I agree. All it’s going to do is put the court in a real bad mood unfortunately. I’m very naive about this, of course.
But you make a good point. We spend salivating hours glommed onto the Michael Jackson peepee extravaganza, and little kids are tortured by rotten parents, and other little kids are abducted, raped, and murdered. There was a family in NJ that adopted seven kids. They liked two of the kids and starved the rest. Five of the kids were 20% of their normal body weight and height. Police only found out when someone reported a ‘creature’ digging in a dumpster. It was a 14 year old boy who weighed 37 pounds. Christ.. what fucked-up priorities the media has. And, some of us, too, that we become addicted to debauchery and inured to real tragedy. MSM. Right. Mainstream sucks.
Posted by Phoenix
04/18/2005 at 10:39 AM
