a friend passes

Have been notified today of the passing of a very close and dear friend of many years.

A friend of the wife and I, the lady who passed away was a kind and gentle soul, someone who never found it in herself to say no to a friend.

She could at times be somewhat ditzy but that isn’t meant in a disrespectful way.  She was rather cute with it, kinda reminded me of Goldie Hawn as Private Benjamin. She was not an old woman, she was in her 60s. Didn’t look it.  Not young but gosh, I’m 75, so you see where I feel, we feel, pretty bad at her passing.

She had a type of lung cancer that occurs in, as her husband told us, “women of that age.”
She was never a smoker, and neither was her doctor husband.

When we saw her last year, she wasn’t looking well, and I recall my wife being concerned.  But Barb being who she was, never let on that she was dying even then.  She admitted to being somewhat ill and passed it off to us as something I can’t remember, and put her weight loss down to that. And she was naturally thin to begin with. But she was dying as we spoke, and dying while we had a wonderful lunch at Mario’s Italian, and that is all very hard to take in.

Over the last few months, we hadn’t heard anything which wasn’t too unusual as we didn’t write every day.  But notes between the wife and Barb via snail and email were pretty much on a regular basis.  We received no card from her this year, and that was very unusual indeed.

She was diagnosed in 2010, and so even in that year we hadn’t a clue and she said not a word.

Barbara was very religious, very conservative and a Tea party lady.  I’d be willing to bet that she never hurt a soul in her lifetime.  She just wasn’t like that.  And so you’ll forgive the thought I hope, when I express my questioning of whatever god it was she prayed to.  Cos she went far too early and in far too much pain and left behind a family who loved her.  And so did her friends who miss her already.

It’s going to be very hard going back home and knowing we’ll never see her again.  Her home was less than a mile down the road from us.  In fact, it was my wife and I who got them interested in the area near us.

Rest in Peace dear friend. 

Posted by peiper    United Kingdom   on 12/29/2012 at 05:57 PM   
  1. I’m sorry for your loss. One of the hardest things that comes with reaching a certain age is the uncertainty of life. None of us live forever, so it’s best to live life to the fullest in the way that suits you best while you can. Eventually you’ll be past your grief and be able to look back on the good times you spent with her with fondness.

    Posted by Drew458    United States   12/29/2012  at  06:46 PM  
  2. I now how you feel P, every year I get older my list of Friends gets shorter. Sorry about your friend.

    Posted by Rich K    United States   12/29/2012  at  09:07 PM  
  3. I’m not “offended” by your questioning of her prayers, but do keep in mind that sometimes death actually *can* be a mercy.  If things continue to go off the “cliffs of insanity” as fast and hard as it looks like they’re trying, at least she will not suffer during the days to come.

    May be only a small comfort, perhaps, but some comfort is better than none.

    Posted by Friar Bob    United States   12/30/2012  at  12:47 AM  
  4. May God look over your friend.
    Being in your age group I can understand why she didn’t let everyone know. Why bother her dear friends with something they could not control? It really may be that simple.
    Maybe your friend did pray to her God to ease her pain. Only those two know.
    A friendly suggestion - remember the good times. From your brief description of her, I would suspect that is what she would want you and your wife to do. Don’t dwell on what might have been. Smile. She most certainly is.

    Posted by Theo    United States   12/30/2012  at  02:03 AM  
  5. So sorry ... thoughts and prayers…

    Posted by CenTexTim    United States   12/30/2012  at  04:14 AM  
  6. Sorry to hear about your friend - and in the midst of the holidays - always hardest on the family for the coming years. Thoughts and prayers for comfort.

    Posted by wardmama4    United States   12/30/2012  at  02:26 PM  
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