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Phoenix With A Side Of Fries

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Ok, I admit ... living in an upstairs unit of a condo for more than a decade has completely atrophied my grilling skills ...

And I’ve never had a gas grill before ...

And we bought a cheap one, which is probably more full of hotspots than one of the reactors at Chernobyl ...

And this is my first time actually trying to grill something in the daylight, but since it’s finally stopped raining for a few minutes (after a steady week of dark, soggy, and dank) I just had to try ...

And the wife buys these enormous chicken thighs, which seem to be made of skin, bone, and fat ...

But DAMN. What The Hell I am cooking out there, Phoenix soaked in gasoline?

Crivens. Get the grill hot, put the chicken thighs on. Instant conflagration. Foom!

Move the chicken to the top rack, further away from the heat. Foom! All this does is give me taller flames.

Turn off the grill, take the bird parts off, and watch the bottom of the grill continue to burn for a solid five minutes. WTF? I’d just cooked the thing clean yesterday; what’s down there left to burn?

Ok. Fine. Relight the grill, put it on ultra low, and put the chicken in the front. Phew, no flames. But it’s going to take forever this way. I could rub the pieces together and cook them faster via friction.

Maybe if I could turn the heat up just a little ...

FOOM.

Damn. Guess I’ve got to learn the secret. In the meantime ... hey, carbon is good for you, right?

LOL



Posted by Drew458    United States   on 12/10/2012 at 03:03 PM   
 
  1. Well done Drew. Woops. Maybe you should just put the damn bird back together, get some feathers and let it loose. It’s been thru a lot ya know. And it is the season.

    Posted by peiper    United Kingdom   12/10/2012  at  03:26 PM  
  2. The trick:
    1-Preheat grill, the hottest you can get it.
    2-Turn off all but 1 burner.
    3-Place the chicken everywhere except where the burners are.
    4-Remove when chicken is 160 degrees F in thickest part.

    Posted by Steve_in_CA    United States   12/10/2012  at  04:01 PM  
  3. a ha!

    At least I got step 1 right!

    Posted by Drew458    United States   12/10/2012  at  04:35 PM  
  4. From Steve_in_CA (with modifications)

    The trick:
    1-Preheat grill, the hottest you can get it.
    1A - Have a drink.
    2-Turn off all but 1 burner.
    2A - Have another drink.
    3-Place the chicken everywhere except where the burners are.
    3A - Have just one more drink.
    4-Remove when chicken is 160 degrees F in thickest part.
    4A - Say “Screw it” and order a pizza.

    Posted by CenTexTim    United States   12/10/2012  at  05:53 PM  
  5. Nice recipe modification CenTexTim, must try it next time.

    Posted by Steve_in_CA    United States   12/10/2012  at  08:24 PM  
  6. Wow - the single biggest lesson to learn here:

    USE FREAKING CHARCOAL!

    I’ve never screwed up a BBQ using charcoal. Can’t say the same for a gas grill.

    Posted by jackal40    United States   12/11/2012  at  08:43 AM  
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