Friday - June 23, 2006

Climate Cycles

The longer this goes on, the sillier it gets. Al Gore needs to be locked up in a padded cell for pushing this mumbo-jumbo science. I know the real reason why temps are higher - there are too many people. That’s right. Since the Earth’s population exploded in recent centuries from a few million to several billions, that means there are way too many 98.6 degree warm bodies around. It’s true! Here’s my theory ...

The coldest winter in recent history was during WWII after millions of warm bodies went cold. The winter of 1944 was the coldest it had been in over a century. The second coldest winter was in 1914. Once again, after a major depopulation event. Duh! That proves my theory. The obvious solution to global warming is for the human race to have another great big, hairy war! Trust me, it’ll work!

Earth Hottest It’s Been in 2,000 Years
—(AP via BREITBART)
_{Jun 22 4:51 PM US/Eastern}

The Earth is running a slight fever from greenhouse gases, after enjoying relatively stable temperatures for 2,000 years. The National Academy of Sciences, after reconstructing global average surface temperatures for the past two millennia, said Thursday the data are “additional supporting evidence ... that human activities are responsible for much of the recent warming.”

Other new research showed that global warming produced about half of the extra hurricane-fueled warmth in the North Atlantic in 2005, and natural cycles were a minor factor, according to Kevin Trenberth and Dennis Shea of the National Center for Atmospheric Research, a research lab sponsored by the National Science Foundation and universities.

The academy had been asked to report to Congress on how researchers drew conclusions about the Earth’s climate going back thousands of years, before data was available from modern scientific instruments. The academy convened a panel of 12 climate experts, chaired by Gerald North, a geosciences professor at Texas A&M University, to look at the “proxy” evidence before then, such as tree rings, corals, marine and lake sediments, ice cores, boreholes and glaciers.

Combining that information gave the panel “a high level of confidence that the last few decades of the 20th century were warmer than any comparable period in the last 400 years,” the panel wrote. It said the “recent warmth is unprecedented for at least the last 400 years and potentially the last several millennia,” though it was relatively warm around the year 1000 followed by a “Little Ice Age” from about 1500 to 1850.

8,000 B.C. - Climate Report

Tharg and me used to hunt mighty mammoth but he scared to cross ice bridge. It now too thin to take weight of even saber cat. Only mouse or rabbit can cross.

Many of my people have left the caves in search of food.

Sister’s daughter’s husband says it because of He-Who-Tamed-Fire. He say smoke from fire anger gods and they make it hot. Medicine Man say he full of mastodon droppings.

Medicine Man say Sun God told him Sun God get belly ache every 200 lifes of man. Belly ache make Sun God hotter, like when Og ate red berries birds don’t touch.

Sun God say it good thing. He say now we can go south past ice to land he call “Iowa.”

He mumble “junk science” and “media hype” and “poorly educated reporters.” We no understand these powerful magic words. We afraid to say words now that Moon God warn us. She say magic words make research grants dry up. We no understand.

Must go, little Ky-Rock need help flaking obsidian.

Posted by The Skipper     on 06/23/2006 at 09:41 AM   
Filed Under: • Climate-Weather • Satire •  
• Comments (9) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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