Wednesday - July 09, 2008
Chinese Police gear up for the Olympics
Yeah, this is going to work great:
Who needs an armored, mine-resistant fighting vehicle to fight terrorists when you have a two-wheeled, self-balancing electric scooter? In Jinan, Shandong province yesterday, armed Chinese police were photographed executing counter-terrorism drills riding Segways, reports Danwei. For months now, China has engaged in secret defense training exercises in preparation for an attack in Beijing during the Summer Games. Spectators at the Games can now rest assured that if there is terrorist activity, Chinese forces are equipped to “lean-steer” to the scene of the crime at a maximum speed of 12.5 miles per hour.
Combine rising fuel costs with escalating security concerns in China, and this makes perfect sense—kind of: ahead of the Olympics, a Chinese anti-terror team has recently been training on specially-outfitted Segways, the electric, gyro-balanced scooters that are more commonly seen zipping across Silicon Valley campuses.
The scooters, which claim a top speed of 12.5 km/hour and which inventor Dean Kamen billed as nearly impossible to tip-over will also be used by officials and security personnel around the main stadium, the partially solar powered Bird’s Nest, come the “Green” Olympics in August.
Yeah, and I’m sure the public will have the utmost respect for these guys. I mean, look at them. A whole squad of cops looking like they have to pee really, really bad. And those flat black Seqways are just so intimidating looking. To get even less respect, they probably should have mounted special flashing lights to their helmets. But if push comes to shove, what do think will happen if, while chasing some terrorists while hanging on and steering with the Kung Fu Gonad Grip of Death, they actually have to fire those guns? I hope their uniforms have abrasion resistant panels in the rear ends.
I think the original plan was for their cops to ride horses instead, but they somehow disappeared just after several new restaurants opened near the Olympic Village.
Not to worry though. Special units have been training hard for months to protect the crowds, and are now masters at stopping fights between ninjas and guys wielding flower pots as weapons:
Posted by Drew458
on 07/09/2008 at 03:10 PM
Filed Under: • Humor • War On Terror •
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