Sunday - April 03, 2016

cheesey post

WTF. I’ve got nothing much this morning.

Kitteh is driving me crazy, singing all over the place and trying to climb all over me. We’ve had to up her dosage of the phenobarb because she had another fit the other night. Poor kitteh. Which means she gets two pills twice a day instead of one twice a day. So it’s double the thrill giving the cat her meds. And now she won’t even take the shit when she makes a special effort to grind it fine, mix it with the yummy Lysine paste and a bit of Friskies and hand feed it to her. I think I need to build us a pill gun; a micro muzzle loader made by snipping the needle end of a 1cc syringe off to leave just the open cylinder and the plunger. Pills in Lysine and water in the end, force it (ahem, insert it carefully and lovingly into the cat’s mouth) down her throat and press the plunger. Shotgun!!

The weather outside is really confused; it’s right at the freezing mark and the wind is blowing furiously. Whenever clouds hide the sun, it snows. Then the sun comes out 30 seconds later. Lovely Spring morning. More clouds. More snows. Sunlight. Lather, rinse, repeat. Make up your dang mind already! But hey, last night we had a nuclear thunderstorm. It wasn’t even raining, and suddenly we had The Big Flash. The whole world turned glare white for half a second, even inside the house. So I told the wifey, we’re either about to get one helluva thunderstorm, or else we’ve got about 45 seconds to live until the shock wave gets here from New York City nukes. And then the thunder arrived, and the rain. We had two further blasts like that, and that was it. So not the kind of “Hudson Valley Rumbler” kind of T-storm I grew up with.

Right, so I made some frozen veg last night. Broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots. About the most boring thing you can stick in a white plastic bag in the frozen food aisle. So I figured I’d jazz it up somehow. Cheese sauce! Yay, that always works. Hit the fridge, pull out various bits and pieces of cheese. Hmm, Kerry Gold, some kind of Irish Cheddar. It makes nice toasted cheese sandwiches, so that ought to work. Half a block of Colby/Jack. That’s my go-to cheese for nachos and salsa dip, so I know it’s easy melting and creamy. Add that too. A chunk of Swiss the size of a cake of hand soap. Well, it melts on burgers, right? Put them all together in a cup, splash on a bit of milk. Because that’s how you make cheese sauce with CheeziWizz, right? And into the microwave ... and the Fail begins. It all melts right up, the milk starts to boil ... pull it out and stir stir stir. And nothing happens. I’ve got yellowy orange hot milk and a blob of goo. Heat it some more, another 30 seconds. Beep!! Stir. Still nothing. WTH? Ok, fine, into an actual saucepan to go on the actual stove burner. Heat gently, stir constantly ... it got worse!l I was left with more oily colored liquid dairy product derivative, and a big off-white blob of something that was quickly becoming chewing gum. And the more I stirred it, the worse it got.

Finally I gave up, poured off the immiscible liquid, cut the blob into two rubbery chunks and plopped them onto the veg piles on our plates. It was terrible. Not even any flavor. Total failure by the curds. Losers. What, the curds lost? No whey! Yes whey, totally.

Thinking it through this morning, I think the “goo” enzyme in the Swiss cheese just took over and promulgated to the other ones, and that was it. Never trust the Swiss!! (and perhaps always keep a box of Velveeta in the back of the fridge. It lasts forever, and no mold on earth ever seems to take hold)

Posted by Drew458     on 04/03/2016 at 08:37 AM   
Filed Under: • Climate-Weather • Fine-Dining •  
• Comments (3) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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