BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin is the only woman who can make Tony Romo WIN a playoff.

calendar   Sunday - March 20, 2005

Could Women Be Right?

Us guys hear this all the time:  size matters.  Hell, if it didn’t there wouldn’t be a billion dollar business in extenders, enlargers, pump, and thickeners.

Current studies in nature indicate size DOES matter.  The size of horns, antlers, and feathers.

Go read it.  yeah, go ahead.  Do it now.
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...
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You back?

Good.

Allow me to take this report’s findings to its logical conclusion: if we continue to hunt deer and other animals for the size of tusks, horns, feather coloration, etc. we are, in fact, culling the best of the best leaving nothing but a bunch of nancy-boy birds and other animals to mate with the females thereby making future generations even more wussified, weak, small, etc.

Hell, I didn’t even know the animal kingdom had a National Association of Gals (NAG) or that deer, elephants, peacocks, etc. had so many femi-nazis.

Or are our own hunters somewhat responsible?

Something to think about, eh?


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 03/20/2005 at 11:55 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Friday - March 04, 2005

Almost Spring

It’s almost spring and the “Boys Of October” are starting their spring training games today. Baltimore beat Florida 8-4 even though their new slugger, Sammy Sosa (traitor) was a no-show with a groin pull. The Cubbies beat Oakland 2-1. The Yankees tied Pittsburgh 2-2. The Yankees suck.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 03/04/2005 at 02:05 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Tuesday - February 22, 2005

Truly Sad

As you all know, hockey season was cancelled due to a “disagreement” between owners and players. One place hardest hit by the strike is the Soviet Socialist Republic of Canuckistan. The Molson breweries have almost run out of beer with Canucks trying to drown their sorrows over lack of sports this year. Fortunately, our Canuck friends have found something else to occupy their need for sports .... women’s curling.

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How does one go about putting an entire country out of its misery?

Paging Doctor Kevorkian .. Canada on line four ....


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/22/2005 at 12:48 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Wednesday - February 16, 2005

Boring News

Hockey season has been cancelled.

Like .... who f**king cares?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program .... already in progress.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/16/2005 at 10:18 PM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Tuesday - February 08, 2005

Sports Questions

Basketball has been around a long time, right?

When was the last time they raised the height of the hoop?  Hey, our players are getting taller every year so why not?

Also, why is it that people say baseball and soccer are boring because they are low scoring games?  Yet in the same breath say they like football because the action is fast and scores are higher?

Sunday night’s game took what? 4 hours?  For 4, 15 minute quarters?  THAT’S FAST?  And if you score it like baseball, the final was 3.43 to 3.

I don’t get it.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/08/2005 at 11:20 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Monday - February 07, 2005

Beantown On A Roll

Boston Red Sox. Winner.

New England Patriots. Winner.

John Kerry. Loser.

Two out of three ain’t bad.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/07/2005 at 05:29 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Sunday - February 06, 2005

Allan’s Secret

Below is the living room of Chateau Kelly. In the center is the Hitachi 55” Big Screen surrounded by the home theatre system (three more speakers in rear not shown). On the right is a large bookcase with no books in it - it contains 780+ DVD’s. In the foreground is the Lazy-Boy recliner (it ain’t pink, dammit - it’s faded crimson) where my ass will soon be parked. Beer, tortilla chips, salsa (extra hot), large Pizza Hut Super Supreme Pizza, two dozen hot buffalo wings ....

Mmmmmm .... I feel a Homer Simpson moment coming on ....

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/06/2005 at 09:22 PM   
Filed Under: • PersonalSports •  
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Super Bowl Trivia

I What was the name of the first ‘’Super Bowl’’?

II Both of the Patriots’ Super Bowl victories have been by three-point margins. What is the closest margin of victory in a Super Bowl?

III The winning team receives the Vince Lombardi Trophy. What is the name of the trophy presented to the MVP?

IV The Super Bowl had a scoreless first quarter last season. When was the previous Super Bowl to have a scoreless first quarter?

V True or false: A place-kicker never has won the MVP.

VI The Patriots’ Adam Vinatieri has kicked two game-winning field goals in the Super Bowl. Who is the first player to kick a game-winning field goal in a Super Bowl?

VII The Eagles are making their second Super Bowl appearance. Name five of the eight teams that have played in one Super Bowl.

VIII True or false: A Super Bowl never has gone into overtime.

IX Which Super Bowl received the highest TV rating?

X The Patriots’ Tom Brady completed a record 32 passes last season. Name the other quarterback to complete more than 30 passes in a Super Bowl game.

XI Who scored the first points in Super Bowl history?
a) Don Chandler
b) Curtis McClinton
c) Max McGee
d) Elijah Pitts

XII Who holds the record for most career points scored by a place-kicker?
a) Mike Cofer, 49ers
b) Roy Gerela, Steelers
c) Ray Wersching, 49ers
d) Don Chandler, Packers

XIII Brady has been named MVP twice in the Super Bowl. Which quarterback hasn’t won the award more than once?
a) Roger Staubach
b) Bart Starr
c) Joe Montana
d) Terry Bradshaw

XIV The Patriots’ Bill Belichick is attempting to win his third Super Bowl as head coach. Chuck Noll of the Steelers holds the record with four. Name the two coaches who have won three Super Bowls

XV Who was the Eagles’ coach in their only other Super Bowl appearance?

XVI Only one player has won the MVP while playing on the losing team. Who is he?

XVII Brady has a 64.0 career completion rate (40 attempts or more). Who has the highest career completion rate?
a) Joe Montana
b) Bart Starr
c) Troy Aikman
d) Phil Simms

XVIII The Panthers’ John Kasay kicked a 50-yard field goal in the Super Bowl last season. Who holds the record for the longest field in a Super Bowl?

XIX Who has the most sacks in a Super Bowl game?
a) Simeon Rice
b) Reggie White
c) L.C. Greenwood
d) Dexter Manley

XX Who has the longest run from scrimmage in Super Bowl history?
a) Marcus Allen
b) Larry Csonka
c) John Riggins
d) Timmy Smith

Bonus Who was the head coach of the Patriots in their first Super Bowl appearance?

To see the answers click here ....

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/06/2005 at 01:48 PM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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What Would We Do Without Professors?

From the Washington Post ....

■ “The end-zone dance is really quite similar to the strutting cock, celebrating the achievement of masculinity while emasculating the opponent,” says Jason Antrosio, an anthropology professor at Hartwick College in Oneonta, N.Y. Antrosio teaches a course on the rituals of cockfighting and he sees many parallels to the Super Bowl.

■ “The stadium arena of the Super Bowl is basically a cockpit on steroids,” Antrosio writes in an e-mail.

■ “The Super Bowl is an example of what anthropologist Alan Dundes calls a ‘thinly disguised symbolic homoerotic masturbatory phallic duel.’

■ Dundes is a legendary professor of anthropology and folklore at the University of California at Berkeley, and author of dozens of books, including “Interpreting Folklore” and “The Evil Eye.”

Silly me! I thought it was just a game!

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/06/2005 at 12:16 PM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Monday - January 24, 2005

FoolsBall

The Steelers stank and the Falcons folded.
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Philadelphia Eagles
vs
New England Patriots
Who Will Take Home
The Big Prize?
Feb. 6 - Jacksonville

Note: Sir Paul McCartney is doing the halftime show this year and if he bares a tit, I’m giving up on football for life!


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 01/24/2005 at 03:28 AM   
Filed Under: • CelebritiesSports •  
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calendar   Wednesday - January 05, 2005

What’s In A Name ?

Ray Ratto of ESPN pokes extreme fun at the Anaheim Angels, who will henceforth be known as the “Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim”. It’s true. The Angels decided to change the name to attract more fans from Los Angeles. Ratto has fun with many other teams who should change their names along the same lines ....

The San Diego Padres of Anaheim, Los Angeles, Tijuana and All The Way To The Arizona Line.

The Golden State Warriors of Oakland.

The Chicago White Sox of the South Side, You Wanna Make Something Of It?

and ....

The New York Yankees of Everything That Isn’t Nailed Down.

However ....

....

....

He missed one very important one ....

bat The Baltimore Colts Of Indianapolis via Mayflower Van Lines and The Dark Of Night.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 01/05/2005 at 12:50 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Tuesday - December 28, 2004

On Sports

All y’all know I am not a big sports nut but when I read crap like this all I can think of is that this is a socialisic and wealth re-distributing system within baseball.

And if you even think about bringing up that tired old argument about how big money “buys” championships, take time right now to stow it.  It is absolute bullshit.  Witness the Yankess last year and when they lost to the Marlins, fer Chrissake!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/28/2004 at 12:03 PM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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calendar   Thursday - December 16, 2004

Baseball News

Ten days ago I posted about Congress legislating steroids in baseball. and some of the comments boiled down to the funding of stadiums by taxpayers which somehow then gave the citizenry, through legislation, the right to control what goes on.

Well, the citizens of D.C. may not get a baseball team because their city council is saying half the money needed to fund the stadium needs to come from private participation.  League officials were expecting to stick the tab to the taxpayers.

I hope the deal falls flat on its fucking face!  Why is it that millions of taxpayers have to pay for the enjoyment of tens of thousands?  Screw ‘em!  If those tens of thousands want a ball team so badly, let THEM pay for it.  And at half a BILLION and counting, that’s a lot of cookie sales, car washes, and corporate sponsorships!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/16/2004 at 11:50 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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Allanspacer

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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