Wednesday - October 19, 2011

OWS mob says NO to redistribution

Occupy Wall Street protesters said yesterday that packs of brazen crooks entrepreneurs within their ranks have been robbing their fellow demonstrators blind, making off with redistributing pricey cameras, phones and laptops—and even a hefty bundle of donated cash and food.

“Stealing Redistribution is our biggest problem at the moment,” said Nan Terrie, 18, a kitchen and legal-team volunteer from Fort Lauderdale.

Makes me proud to be an American. It’s gratifying to know that some Americans are still capable of engaging in the private redistribution of wealth. No government assistance required, or wanted.

“I had my Mac stolen redistributed—that was like $5,500. Every night, something else is gone redistributed. Last night, our entire [kitchen] budget for the day was stolen redistributed, so the first thing I had to do was . . . get the message out to our supporters that we needed food!”

First of all, how dare he/she/it have a $5500 Mac. I’ve never owned a Mac that cost more than $1200. Second, if they spent more time engaging in private enterprise, like these private redistributionists, whoever they are, they wouldn’t have to beg their supporters for food.

Redistribution: the politically-correct word for ‘theft.’

Source: Thieves preying on fellow protesters

Posted by Christopher     on 10/19/2011 at 04:20 PM   
Filed Under: • Crime • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Satire •  
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   Sunday - October 09, 2011

Occupy Wall Street: A Manifesto

Occupy Wall Street: A Manifesto

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men, women and transgendered—and any other human who is able to elude the tyranny of work for a couple of weeks—are created equal. We gather to be free not of tyranny, but of responsibility and college tuitions. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that a government long established and a nation long prosperous be changed for light and transient causes. So let our demands* be submitted to a candid world.

First, we are imbued with as many inalienable rights as a few thousand college kids and a gaggle of borderline celebrities can concoct, among them a guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment and immediate across-the-board debt forgiveness—even if that debt was acquired taking on a mortgage with a 4.1 percent interest rate and no money down, which, we admit, is a pretty sweet deal in historical context…

...but down with the modern gilded age!

We demand that a Master of Fine Arts in musical theater writing, with a minor in German, become an immutable human right, because education is crucial and rich people can afford to fund unemployment checks until we find jobs or in perpetuity, whichever comes first.

We demand a minimum wage of $10, no ... make it $20. We earned it. And we demand the end of “profiteering,” because there is no better way to end joblessness than stopping the growth of capital. We also demand a maximum wage law, because selfish American dreams need a firm ceiling.

We demand the institution of direct democracy, because if a bunch of people say it’s OK, it’s OK. And everyone deserves to have his or her voice heard. Except Mr. Moneybags, who we demand stop contributing his own money to candidates we disagree with, to issue groups we loathe and to lobbyists who do not work for organizations featuring “Service,” “Employees,” “International” and/or “Union” in their title.

We demand the end to bailouts and corporate subsidies, unless we’re talking about companies that feature sunflowers or sun rays in their logos, because that’s the kind of morally gratifying institution we approve of, and thus, they should totally be fast-tracked and bailed out with your money to bring the fossil fuel economy ("the economy") to an end.

We demand the end to a corrupt Wall Street ("Apple" “your 401(k)") because banks hold too much power. We demand that government consolidate authority so that elected officials can make prudent choices for us. All that cash in banks was printed by the war god Mars and has nothing to do with the voluntary deposits by ordinary Americans, so we do not consider this theft.

We demand the end to corporate censorship, because if we can’t force private news organizations to run the types of stories with which we agree, there can’t be a healthy democracy. So actually, we demand the end of all corporate news organizations in the name of free speech.

We demand the end to health profiteering, because everyone knows that all the wondrous and lifesaving advances in modern medicine were invented in the People’s Democratic Republic of Laos. Smart people work for the good of humanity, not because they’re greedy.

We demand these rights because of the mass injustice of being able to freely protest against racism and corporatism without any real fear of imprisonment in the most diverse city on earth. And to the wiseguy who walked by the other day and claimed that I’d be writing this manifesto with a quill pen on parchment paper if it weren’t for capitalism, we have two words for you: Koch brothers. Think about it.

This is the fifth communique from the 99.9 percent. We are occupying Wall Street, and we’re not going home until it gets really cold.

Posted by Christopher     on 10/09/2011 at 09:36 AM   
Filed Under: • Commies • CULTURE IN DECLINE • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Satire •  
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   Tuesday - February 15, 2011

Nothing is sacred

I honestly do not believe what I stumbled across last night…

Captain Kirk “…set phasers for BRAIINNSSS”

Mr. Spock “…Live Long and Eat Brraaiiinnnsss”

Yes, it’s…

Night of the Living Trekkies

There’s even a YouTube preview. Posted below the fold for violence and gratuitous almost-nudity.

author’s website: http://www.kevindavidanderson.com/

WWKD?

BTW, this is an excellent bookmark.

GET ME OUT OF HERE ...

Posted by Christopher     on 02/15/2011 at 07:17 PM   
Filed Under: • Satire • Scary Stuff •  
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   Sunday - October 10, 2010

Common Sense, RIP

You’re probably like me, everybody forwards the latest joke to you. You’ve heard them all before. You normally trash them.

Well, Mike forwarded this to me. I’ve never seen or heard it before. So I decided to post it. That means that if any ‘friends’ forward this to me in the future, I can say ‘old news, I posted it on BMEWS’.

Kinda rhymes, doesn’t it?

An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly, rather
true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn’t always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his
wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim

Hey peiper, I missed this. Says it was in the Times. Did you miss it too?

Posted by Christopher     on 10/10/2010 at 01:39 PM   
Filed Under: • CULTURE IN DECLINE • Humor • Satire •  
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   Wednesday - August 25, 2010

I love cats

By now the whole world, even pre-historic headhunting tribes in the Amazon basin, must have heard of

The woman caught on video dumping a cat in a trash bin in Coventry, England

AKA: “ ‘That’ Woman From Coventry” (sung to the tune of My Woman From Tokyo by Deep Purple.) Yes, I’m showing my age and utter lack of taste in music.

I love cats. So idiocy like this tends to spin me up a wall.

Such a waste of a good cat! People are starving in Pakistan and she throws a perfectly good kitteh in the trash bin! What was she thinking?

I love cats. I just can’t eat a whole one!

(please note that the CATegory is ‘Satire’)

GET ME OUT OF HERE ...

Posted by Christopher     on 08/25/2010 at 08:33 PM   
Filed Under: • Satire •  
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   Sunday - June 06, 2010

Obama’s Question?

Honestly, some people have far too much time on their hands.

Some have time to create this crap.

I’ve time to find it.

Very sad…

It occurs to me that if B. Hussein Obama wants to keep his past shrouded in secrecy that creates a void. A vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum. So we are free to fill in the blanks!

Posted by Christopher     on 06/06/2010 at 12:20 PM   
Filed Under: • Celebrities • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Obama, The One • Satire •  
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   Thursday - March 11, 2010

‘The Wreck of the… uh… Barack Hussein?’

Lisa Farizio owes Gordon Lightfoot an apology.

The legend lives on from old Honest Abe on down
Of the group that they call “Grand Old Party.”
The media it’s said gave her up for half dead
Though in truth she is still hale and hearty.
But in two-thousand eight she fell under the great weight
Of a candidate too weak to steer her.
That good ship and true failed in states that were blue
When the gales of November came callin’.

Posted by Christopher     on 03/11/2010 at 10:34 PM   
Filed Under: • Fun-Stuff • Humor • Satire •  
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   Tuesday - March 02, 2010

Trust me.  This really is funny. Especially for the folks on this side of the Atlantic.

Hey Drew, this is Littlejohn’s take on things here. See, it could be worse. At least back home we have more hills we can take to.

The year is 2015, the Queen leaves and the left wing PM becomes PM for life. And everything of course has an American tie in because the left is never responsible for anything wrong headed.  Course not. It starts in America.

In March 2015, the number of British citizens seeking asylum abroad overtook the number of people claiming asylum in Britain.

I’m not certain if our friends Chris and Lyndon will see the humor or maybe break out in tears and say it’s gonna happen.

Anyway, Littlejohn is quite conservative as I hope you all know. He is also brilliant.

Something else to inform friends in the USA.  Of all the presidents we have had and of all the criticism of any of them, with the possible exception of Barry Obama, I don’t think any politician in modern times has been as badly beaten up by the press and the man on the street as has Gordon Brown. In fact,, I think he’s been beaten up more then Obama.  Now that has to tell you something.

Brown’s Britain 2015 and even the Queen has fled

Richard Littlejohn
Daily Mail

Dateline: London, March 1, 2015

The State of Emergency introduced in May 2010 is to be extended for another five years, Prime Minister-for-Life Gordon Brown announced in London yesterday.

Such was the scale of the crisis facing the country that a General Election could only lead to instability.

Labour would continue in power indefinitely, Brown pledged. He was getting on with the job, taking the difficult decisions, which is what people wanted him to do.

This was no time for a novice, the Prime Minister-for-Life insisted. The people had spoken when they rejected the Etonian salesman Cameron in May 2010. There was no need for a fresh mandate.

Even though the Conservatives won the popular vote and became the largest party at Westminster, they failed to secure an overall majority in the Commons, as a result of boundary changes introduced by Labour.

For almost a week after the results were declared, Brown refused to leave Number 10 Downing Street. The only evidence that someone was still inside was the fusillade of mobile phones and computer keyboards being thrown out of the windows.

Eventually, he put out a deranged statement on YouTube in which he blamed the election result on the low turn-out caused by the worst winter weather in 30 years, which began in America.

When the Queen invited him to the Palace to ask for his resignation, he declined on the grounds that Sarah was washing her hair that day. He was getting on with the job, taking the difficult decisions, which is what people wanted him to do.

Several days later, Brown announced via Twitter that he intended to form a government of national unity. Although his initial overtures to the LibDems to join a coalition were rejected, Nick Clegg relented when Brown promised to introduce a full system of proportional representation during the lifetime of the Parliament.

In his first Budget, the new Chancellor Ed Balls said that Labour planned to increase ‘investment’ by £100 billion a year to stave off recession, which started in America.

This would include an immediate expansion of the council house building programme to accommodate the ten million extra immigrants expected to arrive in the next decade, as well as hundreds of thousands more unmarried, teenage mothers living on welfare.

Hedge fund managers and most of the City of London had already decamped abroad to avoid penal rates of taxation.

They were followed in quick succession by thousands of British plumbers and bricklayers, who decided to seek a better life in Poland.

The financial markets went into meltdown. When the pound plunged to parity with the Zimbabwean dollar, the IMF cut off Britain’s line of credit.

He claimed that he had the authority, since the threat from the economic crisis, which began in America, was at least as great as that posed by the Nazis in 1939, or his name wasn’t Winston Churchill.

As Britain was now a full province of the European Union, pursuant to a little-known clause hidden in the small print of the Lisbon Treaty, Parliament was abolished.

That was when Brown declared himself Prime Minister-for-Life. His position was endorsed by the new President-in-Perpetuity of Europe, Lord Mandelson, speaking from his official suite on board a Russian yacht off Corfu.

Protesters who tried to storm Downing Street were repelled by three divisions of the European Defence Force, under the command of an EU Reichsmarschall from the 17th Panzer Division, now garrisoned at Aldershot.

Six months later, Argentina invaded the Falklands again. This time the Argentines were welcomed with open arms. The islanders were so disillusioned with events back ‘home’ that they said they were ashamed to be British.

When Brown phoned the White House to ask for help, President Obama refused to take his call, on account of the fact he was playing golf with Tiger Woods.

With the Government distracted by the invasion overseas and by the food riots at home, Bradford, Leicester and Blackburn unilaterally declared that they were now independent Islamic states operating under Sharia law.

HERE FOR ALL OF IT

Posted by peiper     on 03/02/2010 at 03:43 PM   
Filed Under: • Government • Humor • Satire •  
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   Sunday - November 01, 2009

Weekend funnies

The rest of this post is possibly NSFW. If you find any of these offensive for other reasons, see your psychiatrist.

Computer crash. Thank Allah for airbags!

Rats! I hate rats!

This is just wrong on so many levels…

Is this racist? If so, which way?

GET ME OUT OF HERE ...

Posted by Christopher     on 11/01/2009 at 12:40 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Satire •  
• Comments (1) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

   Saturday - March 07, 2009

Title, title, BWAHAHAHA!!!!

I don’t remember where I found this. I posted it on my personal blog a few days ago.

Well, I watched it again. And I thought: ‘This is worthy of BMEWS’. Now, you can probably take that a couple of different ways. I prefer to think that the average BMEWS reader appreciates sick, disparaging, humor. You know, the kind of stuff that passes as news in the UK Telegraph. (right peiper?)

So, here you go. (rolls saving throw… misses… damn!)

Posted by Christopher     on 03/07/2009 at 08:42 AM   
Filed Under: • Satire •  
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   Wednesday - October 15, 2008

Sarah Palin dives in poll ratings, and msm in USA are not biased, reports The Telegraph.

And ya read it here.  Unless you caught it all back home in US.

It may hurt but there’s no way to ignore this reporting on American elections from the Brit side.
Honestly, and yes I know I’m being cowardly, I so far have avoided watching the other parodies of Mrs. Palin. I saw the first and yes it was funny.
I might get the nerve to see the others. Not really sure I want to.  It’s nice and warm and secure here in the sand.

Sarah Palin dives in poll ratings as Tina Fey impersonates her on Saturday Night Live
It has broken Sarah Palin’s spell and could decide the next president. As Obama and McCain square up for Wednesday’s final debate, Neil Midgley explains how US TV entertains, informs and influences voters in a way that would be unthinkable in Britain.

By Neil Midgley
Last Updated: 9:05AM BST 15 Oct 2008

Three weeks from now, Sarah Palin may be the Vice-President elect of the United States of America. But today, few people would call her the most powerful woman in American politics.

Arguably, that honour doesn’t go to former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton or House Speaker Nancy Pelosi either. Today, the most influential woman in America is probably Tina Fey – a television comedienne.

Since Palin’s nomination as Republican John McCain’s running mate for the White House, Fey has mercilessly and relentlessly impersonated her on NBC’s late-night satirical show Saturday Night Live (SNL).

Fey’s physical resemblance to Palin is uncanny, and Fey has an equally spooky knack of replicating the Alaska governor’s near-Canadian accent.

In public, Palin has taken Fey’s mockery in good part. But Palin’s poll ratings are telling a more devastating story.

In a Newsweek poll in September, voters were asked whether Palin was qualified or unqualified to be president. The result was a near dead-heat. In the same poll this month, those saying she was “unqualified” outnumbered those saying she was “qualified” by a massive 16 points.

Some of Fey’s best satire has come straight from Palin’s own unforced errors.

At the end of last month, Palin was interviewed by Katie Couric, the main news anchor for the CBS television network.

Couric asked Palin whether the $700 billion for the Wall Street bail-out, which had at that point not been approved by Congress, might be better spent helping out middle-class families.

Palin replied: “That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out.

“But ultimately what the bail-out does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Helping the – it’s got to be all about job creation too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track.

She went on: “So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans and trade – we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing, but one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today – we’ve got to look at that as more opportunity.”

That babbling response was a gift for Couric, but an even bigger one for Fey the following Saturday. Repeating Palin almost verbatim gave Fey her most powerful line so far.

Thanks to Fey, SNL is defying gravity. While other television shows continue to lose viewers, its ratings are up 50 per cent this autumn – despite the fact that it is now in its 34th season. It currently commands 10 million viewers – a creditable figure for a primetime drama, let alone a late-night sketch show.

NBC has given it an extra slot on Thursday nights. And its success in feeding off serious anchors such as Couric highlights just how powerful a force television has become in deciding this presidential election.

Other satirical shows, such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report, are also enjoying record ratings, as well as influence far beyond their own viewers.

Stewart’s combination of comic monologue, fake news reports and genuine celebrity guests (such as Michelle Obama and Tony Blair) has gained him a cult following both in the US and here, where the show airs on the digital channel More4.

Even bigger than Saturday Night Live have been the presidential and vice-presidential debates. Sarah Palin’s set-to with Joe Biden on October 2 attracted nearly 70 million viewers – a record for a vice-presidential debate and the highest-rated election debate since 1992.

Presidential candidates Obama and McCain only managed 63 million, but even that is a massive number. To put it in context, this year’s American Idol finale – one of the highest-rated shows in the calendar – had 32 million viewers.

It is impossible to imagine a similar level of engagement with political television in this country. Gordon Brown and David Cameron would not only have to debate each other on TV – an unlikely scenario in itself – but pull in an audience bigger than the finals of Britain’s Got Talent and Strictly Come Dancing put together.

American networks do have some advantages over the BBC and ITV in planning and executing their political coverage.

Presidential elections happen on a rigid four-year timetable, avoiding the unholy scramble when a British general election is called at a month’s notice.

That allows the networks to engage with the process much earlier on – not least with their Sunday morning political talk shows.

“Two years ago, the then-potential candidates were making their pitstops on [NBC Sunday morning show] Meet the Press,” says Brian Stelter, a media reporter for the New York Times and the lead contributor to that newspaper’s TV Decoder blog. “In some ways, those shows are really try-outs.”

British TV channels also labour under Ofcom’s impartiality requirements, which bar the kind of opinion-led political shows that litter America’s cable news channels.

Every weeknight, there is a primetime battle between Fox News’s legendary conservative Bill O’Reilly, and firebrand liberal Keith Olbermann, whose show airs on NBC’s cable news spin-off channel MSNBC.

Olbermann calls O’Reilly “Billo the Clown”; O’Reilly glories in the fact that Fox gets higher ratings than MSNBC.

The BBC News channel and Sky News could never engage in such playground antics, no matter how entertaining – not least because they could distort the outcome of elections.

“I think we’re learning what it means to have opinion journalism in this country on such a grand scale,” says Stelter. “It’s only in the last six to 12 months that those lines have hardened between Fox and MSNBC. I think the [ratings] numbers for cable have surprised people.

“Cable, which is a niche offering, is in some cases beating some of the big broadcasting networks. I think that shows that people are looking for different stripes of political news.”

American political TV certainly is polarised. When Governor Palin attacked the media in her speech at the Republican convention last month, the crowd chanted “NBC”.

Gwen Ifill, a respected anchor on the non-commercial channel PBS, who moderated the vice-presidential debate, saw her impartiality attacked because she is writing a book about African-American politics that mentions Obama in its title.

Yet despite the Wild-West flavour of some shows, America’s networks comprehensively outstrip this country in both volume and quality of political coverage.

All three major US networks – ABC, CBS and NBC – offer a large amount of serious (and unbiased) political coverage, both in their evening network newscasts and in their morning equivalents of GMTV. All three have Sunday morning political talk shows.

(and here we conservative folks have been thinking how biased those innocents are. silly us. )

By contrast, ITV has almost abandoned politics, and Channel 4 offers precious little political coverage outside Channel 4 News (and, occasionally, Dispatches).

The BBC still wheels out politics on Sunday mornings, but Andrew Marr’s show is very soft and The Politics Show, with its heavy regional component, often seems like a box-ticking exercise by the corporation.

Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott, BBC1’s late-night political Punch and Judy, would seem dangerously flippant among NBC’s line-up of heavyweight political pundits.

Even more worryingly, political television gets no support from Ofcom’s ongoing review of public service broadcasting (PSB), which will likely mutate into government policy early next year.

The regulator appears so obsessed by preserving regional news on ITV, and so charmed by Channel 4’s bid for public funding, that it will allow the broadcasters’ coverage of national politics to drift.

Unlike science, arts, and history, political television does not get a separate mention from news and current affairs in Ofcom’s definition of PSB; the word “democracy” did not appear once in the regulator’s latest 155-page report.

Impartiality and the public service ethos hardly characterise Tina Fey’s performances. Tonight’s presidential debate forms part of a series driven largely by commercial networks, not publicly funded channels. Neither Fox News nor MSNBC was set up as a sop to a regulator.

Yet if Lord Reith were alive today, he’d see more education, information and entertainment about politics in US television than on the BBC.

Can we learn something from our American cousins? As Sarah Palin erself might say, “Darn right, doggone it, you betcha!”

http://tinyurl.com/3nygoz

That link will also take you to all the Tina Fey parodies. 

Posted by Drew458     on 10/15/2008 at 03:38 AM   
Filed Under: • Blog Stuff • Miscellaneous • Satire • Television •  
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   Tuesday - October 07, 2008

Apologies to Dr. Suess

Uncle Sam and Congress-man

That Uncle Sam!
That Congress-man!
We do not like your bailout plan!
We do not like your taxing plan!

Should we pay so stocks don’t tank?
Should we pay for Barney Frank?

We should not pay so stocks won’t tank.
We should not pay for greedy banks.
We do not like your bailout plan,
We should not pay it, Congress-man.

Mr. Paulson made a call
For a plan to soak us all.

Could you, would you Mr. Bush,
Could you, would you push, push, push?

We should not pay you, Mr. Bush,
So Mae won’t fall upon her tush.

We should not pay you, AIG,
Though you ask on bended knee.
We should not pay you, Freddie Mac,
Just to lighten up your pack.
We should not pay for any bank,
Even one that’s in the tank.

We should not pay for umpteen years
Just because the market fears.
We do not like your bailout plan.
We do not like it, Uncle Sam.

We should not pay you, Mr. Raines,
You, the source of all our pains.
Franklin Raines don’t give a hoot,
He got a golden parachute.

This bailout plan sure is working well. The Dow closed under 10,000 yesterday. Thanks Congress.

Posted by Christopher     on 10/07/2008 at 07:24 AM   
Filed Under: • Economics • Finance and Investing • Satire • Taxes •  
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   Saturday - September 27, 2008

Another public service announcement

This post is neither from or about Europe

As we belatedly found out in the previous post, September is/was Library Card Sign-up Month. September is almost over, so it’s probably too late to sign up for a library card this year. Better luck next year. Please mark your calendars.

I thought it would be a good idea to find out what October holds in store for us. I’ve found that October is one very busy month indeed.

Filipino American History Month
National Arts & Humanities Month
National Hispanic Heritage Month
Italian American Heritage Month: Italian Heritage and Culture Month
Polish American Heritage Month
Celiac Sprue Awareness Month
Health Literacy Month
Healthy Lung Month
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
National Dental Hygiene Month
National Down Syndrome Awareness Month
National Infertility Awareness Month
National Lupus Erythematosus Awareness Month
National Orthodontic Health Month
National Physical Therapy Month
National Spina Bifida Awareness Month
National Spinal Health Month
Rett Syndrome Awareness Month
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Awareness Month
World Blindness Awareness Month
National Pharmacist Month

source: Wikipedia

I don’t see how I can fit all of that into my schedule. I got a head start on being aware of Down Syndrome thanks to Governor Palin. That will help.

That is all.

Posted by Christopher     on 09/27/2008 at 10:44 PM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange • Satire •  
• Comments (1) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

   Sunday - September 07, 2008

A LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA YEAR 2010

I don’t know how I missed a site like this but am thankful to have found it and grateful to Valgerd for making me aware.
So ,, H/T Valgerd.  Again.

I would advise those who haven’t visited this place to please do so. I think you might enjoy the experience.

Cheers and I’m off for the night.

LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA FROM THE YEAR 2010

By seschenbac

OCTOBER, 2010
Mr. President:

First the good news: your approval ratings have jumped dramatically in the last two weeks. You are now at 15% approval which is your highest in the last eighteen months. Primarily, this is due to your decision to stay away from all press conferences that do not use teleprompters.

The restoration of the Fairness Doctrine has enabled us better to manage the information coming out about the various problems of the Administration. The New York Times is continuing to work with us on getting your message out to their 86 subscribers, who are behind you 100% of the time.

Unfortunately, we are having a harder time controlling the Internet and cable television. Your initiative to impose the Fairness Doctrine on Internet bloggers and comments has not been as successful. In fact, it has backfired terribly because bloggers are now using remote servers overseas where we are unable to enforce the law. We have had the FBI pull more agents off of counterterrorism actions to confront these scofflaws, but they seem to pop up at a rate of 10:1 as soon as we arrest anyone.

Jamming continues against Rush Limbaugh’s pirate ships that are broadcasting from offshore and Mexico, but your directives to use only alternative energy reduce their ability to jam his signals to just a few yards from the antennae. He is continuing to ignore your message of Hope, in spite of the law mandating that everyone have hope no matter how dire their personal situation is. His audience seems to be mostly amused by his suggestion that people should hope in one hand and defecate in the other, and see which fills up faster.

Your communications director, Keith Olbermann, continues to provide the press with the Administration’s message from his position as head of NBC News, but their viewers seem to overlap with that of the New York Times, and we are having a difficult time with the other 310 million voters.

Senator Clinton continues her investigations of your Administration in her role as Chairman of the Senate and does not seem to be slowing down. She is now investigating if her proposed nomination to the Supreme Court is just an effort by you to derail her investigations and her already underway campaign to replace you in 2012. We have our operatives working on the matter, but they are unable to get through the barricade of women voters who are now saying “We told you so!”

The financial markets continue to plummet as your phased-in increases of the capital gains tax are set for all gains after January 1st of 2003. The Supreme Court has upheld the retroactivity of the tax thanks to your appointment of Barbara Streisand who has tipped the balance of power there. It seems most of the Justices would rather kill themselves than have to deal with her legal reasoning, which has resulted in the recent spate of 1-0 rulings from the Court. Not to mention the pictures we have of Justice Kennedy with that sheep that he is not married to. We have instructed the Senate Banking and Finance chairs to begin investigation of market manipulations, but to be truthful, we could only leave a message on their answering machines since they refuse to take our calls.

Internationally, our emissaries continue to seek out anyone from the former terrorist group Al Qaeda to apologize for putting Boston in the path of their nuclear weapon. We are also having trouble with Russia, in that Tsar Putin is rejecting our message of hope and understanding. It seems he may be trying to mislead us as he continues mop up operations against Ukraine and the Baltic states. We have been assured that any images showing the destruction of the cities in those countries are just Photoshopped and not really indicative of what is happening on the ground.

Europe continues to reject your offers to mediate their desire to surrender to Tsar Putin, and this has been disappointing. It is our analysis that the Tsar may have bitten off more than he can chew as it seems that Al Qaeda appears to have declared war on the Russians as the infidels, thereby reducing any threats to our nation, except for San Francisco, which our scientists estimate will be able to be reoccupied in about 250 years if the anthrax eradication continues on schedule. Al Qaeda operations have continued against the Russian occupied cities of Prague, Vienna and Rome. We are having a difficult time getting reliable information from those areas due to the residual high levels of radioactivity. Our scientists continue to investigate if that radioactivity can be used as an alternative source of energy since it is in such abundant supply at the moment.

There is good news though in Korea, where Kim Jong Il has declared peace after the successful elimination of all resistance in Seoul. With the surrender of the Republic of Korea, our emissaries are now negotiating with those of the People’s Republic so that you can have a face to face meeting with the Beloved Leader and negotiate his use of the trademarked word “Change” in violation of international intellectual property rights laws.

Politically, we have not seen the benefits of a filibuster proof majority in the Senate. It seems that every Democratic Senator has decided that if you could become President they could too. Considering that they are all more qualified than you, all of them are now also running for President - with the exception of Senator Schumer, who seems to be running for the position of God. He believes that is his appropriate pay grade, since no one else has it.

Your staff wants you to know that we will continue to promote your message of Hope and Change as the solution to all of the Nation’s problems. However, if you could, a few specifics would be greatly helpful. Not that we doubt your sincerity that Hope and Change will work, but we lack your intellectual firepower to figure out how to implement it.

In summary, we are eagerly awaiting the November elections, in which the Republicans are expected to retake majorities in both houses of Congress. At that time we will implement your proposed strategy of blaming them for everything once again.

The future never looked brighter, Sir.

http://tinyurl.com/69j6n2

Posted by Drew458     on 09/07/2008 at 01:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Satire •  
• Comments (12) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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