BMEWS
 
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calendar   Wednesday - September 08, 2004

Go West Young Man

In case you haven’t been keeping track, our Benevolent Dictator, Vilmar, is winging his way west today. He’s on his way to visit his son and new grandson. He’ll be out for the next week so yours truly (BMEWS Secretary Of War) will be manning the helm by himself.

Now, I don’t want a repetition of the nasty incident in July when I sneaked off to the Democratic Convention and you clowns started picking on the Cubs fans (with Vilmar’s help). I have been provided with plenty of ammunition by Vilmar before he left so he is here in spirit, if not in body. I’ll keep you posted on Moonbat behavior but as many of you know I am a kinder, gentler soul than Vilmar (probably because I own twelve times more guns than he does). By this I mean I am a “Compassionate Conservative”, so you will get the same news but without the fiery anger of that madman in Florida.

No. My anger is much more subtle than that. I prefer to strike suddenly, swiftly and accurately while the enemy is otherwise engaged. Pay no attention to the text below ....

GO CUBS!
YANKEES SUCK!


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/08/2004 at 11:35 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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What E.T. Saw

Thank God this one decided to attack South America. Residents of Florida can breathe a little easier ....

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/08/2004 at 10:20 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Memo To Jimmy Carter: “NUTS!”

Jimmy “Peanuts” Carter is pissed at Zell Miller. So pissed that he sent him an angry letter.

In a letter sent over the weekend, Carter also called Miller’s speech “rabid and mean-spirited.”

“By now, there are many of us loyal Democrats who feel uncomfortable in seeing that you have chosen the rich over the poor, unilateral pre-emptive war over a strong nation united with others for peace, lies and obfuscation over the truth and the political technique of character assassination as a way to win elections or to garner a few moments of applause.”

Anybody notice something peculiar about the tone of the letter? Let me give you a hint ....

Does he address any of the points Senator Miller made in his speech at the Republican Convention? Nope! Instead all he can come up with is a personal attack that accuses Zell Miller of “disloyalty”. He obviously didn’t listen to Miller’s speech which began with Miller explaining his presence at the RNC as a decision he made to place family over party. Carter missed the whole point of Miller’s speech. Instead he chose to make an angry attack on the man himself for “deserting the party”.

Do you need any more evidence that Democrats are whining crybabies? Or that Jimmy Carter is a pitiful excuse for a statesman? It’s time for Jimmy to retire to Georgia and keep his mouth shut. The drivel that’s coming out of his mouth lately makes me wonder if he’s totally lost his mind. Judging from his record as President, some might argue that he never had a good mind.

Memo To Carter: Jimmy, don’t take this personally but we would all appreciate it if you would just stay at home and tend to your nuts. If you have any.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/08/2004 at 06:00 AM   
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calendar   Tuesday - September 07, 2004

The Real Downside Of Global Warming

Global warming (if it realy exists, rather than a purely planetary cyclic event) can cause real problems. You already know about flooding, tidal waves, etc. from the (really bad) movie ”Day After Tomorrow”. But it turns out there is an even uglier side to this phenomena: dead bodies thawing out and showing up in the foothills of your favorite glacier.

The folks in India recently found the bodies of four tourists, who had been lost for two decades, had melted their way to the top of one of their glaciers.

Even worse than ”Return Of The Living Dead” is .... ”Return Of The Dead Swedish Tourist”. Ugh!

We’re keeping an eye on the glaciers in North America. You never know when Jimmy Hoffa might decide to “re-surface”. Never fear. Geraldo is poised to cover it, though.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/07/2004 at 01:10 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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A Natural Selection “Four Bagger”

Just caught this from Drudge.....

Students are having a field day killing themselves, it seems.  Four stories of four suicides.

You gotta wonder about the weakness and frail make-up of today’s youth who can’t take “adversity.” They can’t seem to handle reality.  Is it a product of too much TV where all problems are fixed in 20 minutes?  Is it a dependence on drugs to make them feel better?  Is it a function of parents who don’t pay attention to warning signs?  Or is it just a genetic frailty that needs purging?

Something is going on to cause this and as cold as it may sound, their own actions to take themselves out of the gene pool is a good thing for humanity.  We really do not need these people to pro-create and pass on their weak genes.  Call me a cruel, heartless bastard but if these kids can’t handle the stress of being a student or the trappings associated with young adulthood, I shudder to think what would happen if they got into the workforce or, God forbid, started having kids.

I’ve had to deal with people like this in the military and while working in Antarctica.  People who were so insecure about everything.  People who cracked under the tiniest amount of stress. People who were so clingy you thought they had become your newest shirt. People forever running to “counselors” because they couldn’t handle reality. They drained the efficiency, productivity and life out of a group.  They were always calling in sick under some pretense or another.  Everyone else had to cover for them as they sought medical “help.” It took its own toll on co-workers.  Some of these were the sort of people that, in a REAL emergency, you’d probably either have to cold-cock or kill outright in order to assure the survival of the others.

Yep, it’s gonna suck for their family and friends but I am still convinced I am right.....and the Spartans were, too, long, long ago.

The first victim? Female.

The second victim? Female.

The third victim? Female.

The fourth victim? Female.

So what’s up, ladies?  Where’s the “I am woman, hear me roar” stuff?

Help me understand.  Believe it or not I DO feel for those who have had a family member or friend commit suicide.  I have two friends who have gone through this.  One lost her brother and the other lost a close friend (who also happened to be a co-worker of mine.)

But I stand by my above stated beliefs.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/07/2004 at 05:57 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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calendar   Monday - September 06, 2004

Trolls Begone

From The Desk Of The BMEWS Secretary Of War

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed the distinct absence of trolls on the site recently?

And what happened to all the spam inserted into our comments for viagra?

We know you’re out there reading us. We’re still seeing nearly 1,000 unique visitors per day.

Our new Expression Engine blog software has certainly made my job easier.

Memo to trolls: Ain’t it sad knowing you can’t hide behind fake e-mail addresses and spoofed IP addresses any more?

Memo to our loyal readers: If you’re going to host a blog, I have to recommend two fine products. First, get a good blogging software package. You can’t do better than pMachine’s Expression Engine. It’s a little pricey but you can’t beat it for features. The list is endless and most importantly, you can filter out spam and trolls. Second, get a good hosting provider. I recommend Hosting Matters. The fine folks at HM provide 100%, world-class, Grade-A service and support and they run your blog on powerful servers that can handle the most demanding loads. Their pricing schedule is incredibly reasonable too. They provide hosting solutions from small one-person web sites to large business portals. If you’re gonna do it, get the right people to help you. Between pMachine and Hosting Matters, you can’t go wrong.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/06/2004 at 05:10 PM   
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News Bytes 06-Sep-2004

John Kerry today slammed President Bush, calling the situation in Iraq, “The wong war in the wrong place at the wrong time”. The Senator went on to say he’d bring troops home within four years.

President Bush replied back that Senator Kerry is the “wrong waffle in the wrong party in the wrong universe”. Bush went on to describe Kerry’s various positions .... more than there are in the Kama Sutra. Indeed.

Meanwhile, the Russians started mourning the deaths of over 350 children and teachers who were murdered in the most recent “peaceful” protest by members of “The Religion Of Peace”. Their children were in the wrong school at the wrong time with the wrong Muslims.

In New York, Bill Clinton is recovering from a successful quadruple bypass. I wish him a speedy recovery so he can go home to Hillary .. who is the wrong woman in the wrong country with the wrong goals. Bill, I feel your pain.

In Red China, the country’s leaders have decided to crack down on pornography. If your site has 250,000 visitors and you have nekkid women on it, you can get life in prison. And the Democrats think John Ashcroft is harsh? The Red Chinese are suddenly attacking the wrong nekkid people in the wrong internet in the wrong century.

In a related story, half of all internet e-mail in Red China is spam. Spam .. nekkid commisars? I ain’t touching that one with a ten foot chopstick. It’s the wrong joke about the wrong food at the wrong time of day.

And finally, after college football’s opening weekend, LSU drops from 4th to 6th after nearly losing to Oregon State. After watching them play Saturday night I think they should have dropped further. They were the wrong team playing the wrong game with the wrong pre-season hype.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/06/2004 at 04:55 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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When It Rains It Pours

According to legend, there is a butterfly in Africa who mysteriously flaps his wings, creating a small breeze, and this breeze grows and grows and moves across the Atlantic as a hurricane with devastating winds.

We are hereby placing a bounty of $100 trillion (US) on that damned butterfly’s head, dead or alive. Contact the BMEWS Secretary Of War to collect your reward when you have destroyed that bastard.

Three of these monsters within a single two-week period is way too much. That damned butterfly must die!

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/06/2004 at 03:18 PM   
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Update From The West Coast (part 2)

Well, boys and girls, I’m back----temporarily, anyway.

Yesterday about noon the power went out.  It’s amazing how used you get to certain things:  like expecting the fridge light to come on or walking into the bathroom and flicking the switch to find nothing happens.

Anyway, I felt like a druggie going through withdrawals.  No TV, radio had the same stuff over and over, internet--not hardly likely (unless I owned a laptop--which might be a future purchase for just such an occasion as the phones almost always work.)

So........my parents still have power this morning.  Went there for breakfast and decided to go back to the house, pack up the ‘puter and look to see what is going on.

It blew all day yesterday and the eye went over Tampa last night at 7 PM. Things got quiet for a couple of hours and then the winds changed direction.  My yard looks like the trees decided to take huge shits all over it.  Branches and leaves al over.  It will take me a couple of days of solid raking to clear it all (and then I have to deal with the refuse!) The canal behind my house is getting higher and higher. Fortunately we’ve only had 7 inches of rain ( the buckets stage as defined in an earlier post.

Last night the winds started in on us from the south and the plants are now dancing the cha-cha-cha south to north.  If it stays consistent they may straighten up from their “lean” yesterday.

Since the storm is so huge and tropical storm force winds extending almost 200 miles from the eye, we expect winds and rain until mid-afternoon.  Power won’t come back for probably another 24-36 hours.  Hopefully those without power won’t lose too much stuff in their freezers.  I just switched my ice containers in order to preserve it as cold as possible.

So, all in all, things are well here.  Folks are starting to grumble and it irritates me that these people lacks so much understanding for the situation we are facing. Example:  one guy calls in to the radio station complaining that he was without power but knew that 2 local county commissioners were still with electricity.  He then went on to allude that since they were commissioners they had “inside” help to stay on the grid.  What this stupid fuck failed to understand is that 75% of the county is out and where my parents live (and where the 2 other commissioners live, they still have power.) Of course, this fucknuts never said anything about the other 3 commissioners without lights.  He expected the power company to be out in 60 MPH winds re-rigging wires so he could have his TV and coffee pot. 

These are the sort of people that if we ever truly faced a disaster, we’d have to frag simply to protect others.

OK, venting over and time to check out email and comments.

Reporting from one of the biggest “blow jobs” I’ve ever had, this is your Benevolent Dictator signing off.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/06/2004 at 07:48 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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calendar   Sunday - September 05, 2004

Update on Hurricane Frances from The “West Coast”

Well, here it is Sunday morning, 10:00, and Frances is beginning to deliver us a few back-handed slaps.  In a few hours we expect a full face-pummeling that should last for quite some time, into the night and possibly tomorrow morning.

Took a walk outside and all my plants are doing the “Frances Wave.” Lots of small debris everywhere.  Little rain----still.  Hmmmm, very unusual.

They expect the eye to make its exit wound around midnight (she’s a slow mover) and with tropical storm force winds possible up to 80 miles from her center, it would be well into tomorrow morning before things settle down.

For that reason I re-scheduled my flight to South Dakota for Wednesday.  So if you thought you would be rid of my ranting and raving about politics and Fuckface in particular---so sorry, charley (pun intended!)

Your only respite from my verbal salvoes would be a power outage which I fully expect within a few hours and which will possibly stay out for a couple of days. So......I am making lots of ice blocks and storing them in a large cooler for when I need to protect my perishables and those of my parents.

But if power stays on I am getting some stuff currently in draft mode ready to unleash tomorrow.

Well, time to go take a walk around the homestead and make sure all is well.

Update From Allan:

According to this map, the storm should be over Vilmar’s head tonight and will be knocking on my door Wednesday afternoon, Vilmar, is Mother nature trying to tell you and me something? Is this another Al Qaeda plot to take us out? Or has the Democratic Party finally figured out how to manipulate the weather? Our highly skilled BMEWS conspiracy theorists are working on this as we speak. Stay tuned ....



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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/05/2004 at 08:36 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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News Bytes - 05-Sep-2004

Hurricane Frances slams into Florida at Cape Canaveral. Millions flee. Power out. Vilmar waits it out.

Bill Clinton awaits bypass surgery to remedy too many Big Macs problem. Asks hospital to keep Hillary away. Fears for his life if she gets near.

Teresa Heinz Kerry gets fed up with her husband’s bullshit and collpases, taken to hospital..

Osama bin Laden is dead meat. Soon to be taken into custody. How many times have we heard that story? Too many.

CBS has to pay half million dollar fine for Janet Jackson’s tit. Damn! That’s an expensive mammary gland, ain’t it?

The death toll at the school in Russia tops 350. Putin says “we must not be girly men”. Russian people angry at Putin. Putin angry at Islamic bastards. Islamic bastards angry at entire world. Entire world ready to nuke Islamic bastards.

President Bush opens up a double-digit lead in the polls over Senator John “Waffles” Kerry. Stock in Waffle House drops twenty points on NASDAQ.

From Iran: the Mad Mullahs are digging in their own deserts for uranium now. These ragheads won’t be happy until they can blow up the earth. Unfortunately for them, the Americans and Russians already have enough to blow up the earth about 70,000 times. KABOOM!

In further news, Miss Universe shows her ass. Literally. Nice cheeks, sweety!

And last, but not least, in opening week football Alabama tops Utah State 48-17. Roll Tide!


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/05/2004 at 12:49 AM   
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calendar   Saturday - September 04, 2004

And Now, For Something Completely Different

And Now, For Something Completely Different

Still waiting on Frances who is out screwing around near Palm Beach.  The sunset was pretty this evening.  The rain---nonexistant.  Hot as hell all day with few clouds.

So, I cleaned house (while I still had power) and then relaxed with a DVD.  The movie I watched was “The Wall” feautring Roger Waters (natch!) in Berlin 1990.  INCREDIBLE!!!!  AWESOME!!! Probably the best concert I’ve seen on DVD.  Star studded to the max--Joni Mitchell, Bryan Adams, Van Morrison, Sinead O’Connor, Paul Carrack, The Scorpions, Thomas Dolby, The Band, etc.

Considering when it took place (mere months after the Berlin Wall came down) it held special significance for me as an old fogey.

Which brings me to the subject at hand---concerts.

I’ve watched quite a few in my time:

YES KISSBLACK SABBATH
TODD RUNDGRENELTON JOHN SUPERTRAMP
KANSASPINK FLOYDRICKIE VAN SHELTON
DIRE STRAITSKRAFTWERKSARA MCLACHLAN
LEE KONITZ SUE FOLEYTANYA TUCKER
KINKSPRETENDERSKINGSTON TRIO
WILLIE NELSONMATERIAL ISSUEEDDIE MONEY
JUDYBATSROBERTA FLACK RINGO STARR
KING CRIMSON CHEAP TRICKFABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS
WARREN ZEVONHIGHWAY 101 DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND
TUBES10CC G. LOVE AND SPECIAL SAUCE
JOHN HIATTSAWYER BROWNEDDIE “CLEANHEAD” VINSON
SHAWN COLVIN

LENINGRAD SYMPHONYLONDON PHILHARMONICISRAELI PHILHARMONIC

This does not include all the classical concerts performed by local musicians not the concerts by lesser known bands or cover bands.

So here’s the question.............what’s the best concert you’ve ever seen....live?

And what’s the best concert you’ve ever seen .......broadcast?


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/04/2004 at 07:18 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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A Special Note To Our Readers

The past couple of days we’ve been switching over from Movable Type to Expression Engine as the vehicle for powering our blog.

Unless you are brand new to the site, you have noticed quite a change in our appearance which we hope to have back to something resembling our old one soon.  The banner we used to have is cool and we’d like it back.  Getting there and setting our background colors and fonts will take a bit more work.  Allan is the “man from Havana” when it comes to this sort of stuff and he’s been slaving away.  Me?  I poke around, cause things to crash, I screw up settings and ask lots of questions the answering of which, by Allan, of course explains why it is taking him so long to return the site to “near original” condition.

It goes without saying that this would not be possible without so many of you who helped out by contributing towards making it happen.  We’ve thanked you before and want to do so again.  We probably would have transitioned anyway but your contributions made that possibility occur sooner rather than later.

Most importantly though is that you understand our motivation for having made this change. 

So.............................Why did we do it?  Features!!

You’ve probably seen where if you want to make comments to the site you must pre-register.  Fear not as we do not use or sell any of your data nor will we ever give it out to anyone.  Our word is our bond.  The information you provide as a registered user can also be looked at by other users so be careful what you put out there.  But if you are the chatty type or wish to engage in conversation with another user, enter your AIM or Yahoo IM address.  That allows you to take your interaction between one another to another level.

(We’ll be offering dating services soon!  hahahaha)

Registering allows us to filter our the lurking moonbats out there who hijack our site (and piss you all off to no end) with their screeds.  For some reason they think that what we all pay for they have a right to use to post their noxious tripe.

Disagree with us?  Sure!  We expect and invite that.  Use our blog as your own personal soapbox to irritate us ad nauseum.................... you’re outta here!

We can do that now.

We can also moderate all our posts if we want.  This means if we suspect someone is out trolling around even after having registered, we flip a switch and nothing gets on the site unless we say it is OK.  That’s a cool feature.

You’ve probably also noticed we have more options for you, the commenter.  You can be automatically notified if anyone comments to your comment.  No need to go back over and over to see who’s taken your bait (or spit it back out!)

You can also use emoticons to express yourself.  That’s pretty cool.

We also have the ability to set the time between comments to zero.  Under Movable Type if you tried to post too quickly it would not let you and you’d get an error message.  Now you can post comments as fast as your fingers type and your modem sends info.

Another spiffy feature is at the bottom of each post.  We now display the posts category.  So if you are reading a post and the subject is “Exposing Kerry,” just click on that link and you will see all the posts about that category.

So, thanks for sticking with us.  Thanks for donating.  Thanks for participating.

This is Allan and Vilmar signing off.................and we approve this message.  LOL 


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/04/2004 at 12:36 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Waiting For Frances

OK, Here I am again, three weeks after Charley, waiting for Frances to come barreling through.

Fortunately I am on the west side of the state.  She’s expected to hit this afternoon on the east side, possibly slow down and then, like our pioneers of old, “head west!” Her trip will be a slow one as she’s carrying a heavy load of water and wind.

Geez, do I even want to get into how long a blow-job she’s going to give us all? red face

In about 6 hours I am expecting darkening skies, winds and slashing rains described as between CATS and DOGS and BUCKETS.  Early tomorrow morning we’ll gradually progess from BUCKETS of rain to SHITLOADS of rain.  By mid-day tomorrow we’ll be in the thick of it with tropical storm force winds (39-73 MPH) and rains of BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.  Consult below for definintions.

So I went out today and cut the grass, secured the doors of my shed, positioned potted plants in the shelter of my live oaks, and brought my lawn equipment into the garage.  My batteries are charged, my water is in large pans, my candles and matches handy and a deck of cards nearby for when power goes out.

Now all I can hope for is that Frances does her thing and gets out of here by Sunday night because I have an early morning flight Monday to South Dakota to visit my son, daughter-in-law and grand daughter.

Reporting to you from the “West Coast”, your valiant, brave and courageous Benevolent Dictator **hey!! stop that snickering!**

DEFINITIONS OF FLORIDA RAIN AMOUNTS:

SMATTERING-------------------> less than 1/4 inch
SHOWERS----------------------> less then 1/2 inch
AFTERNOON RAIN-------------> less than 1 inch
SOAKER------------------------> 1 to 2 inches
CAT and DOGS----------------> 2 to 4 inches
DOWNPOUR--------------------> 4 to 6 inches
BUCKETS-----------------------> 6 to 8 inches
SHITLOAD----------------------> 8-12 inches
FUCKLOAD---------------------> 12 to 16 inches
BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS-----> 16 and more inches


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/04/2004 at 09:48 AM   
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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