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Sarah Palin is the other whom Yoda spoke about.

calendar   Thursday - November 09, 2006

Book Review

imageimageDestined for Destiny:
The Unauthorized Autobiography
Of George W. Bush

(AMAZON) - $19.95, Scribner - 192 pages - ISBN: 0743299663

Since you’re all in a Bush-bashing mood this week, I suppose it’s only fair that I give you something to help you along without driving you all the way to Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS). This book will help you put it all in perspective as you recover from Black Tuesday. After all, as they say, laughter is the best medicine and if you’re going to laugh, you might as well laugh at The Great Decider.

Now before you go getting any silly ideas that this is a “real” autobiography of our 43rd President, let me assure you that there ain’t a word of truth in it. Well, except for a few choice chapters which I will not mention lest the Secret Service come looking for The Skipper and force me to go on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney. In fact, the introduction was “written by” Cheney (notice the quotes around those two words - that is supposed to be a hint).

Now for the real hint about the nature of this book .... it was written by Scott Dikkers, editor-in-chief of The Onion and Peter Hilleren, who is billed as “former producer of some of the nation’s finest public-access cable-television stations.” Now, if you’ve ever visited The Onion’s web site, you know the folks there ain’t playing with a full deck and when you think of public-access cable-television, what’s the first thing that pops into your head? Why ... “Wayne’s World”, of course.

Now supposedly these two literary giants were invited by President Bush to assist in writing his autobiography. This was done because “Dubya” as he is known, was only a “C” student in college and has always had a problem with fancy words like “nukular.” That’s where Dikkers and Hilleren came in. In numerous sesions in the Oval Office over pizza and beer, they managed to get the inside scoop on the life of the former owner of the Texas Rangers baseball team.

I have to admit that I laughed from page to page and laughed so hard I was in tears at certain dramatic “revelations” by our greatest living President. I have to give this book five stars for giving me something to go back and browse through during this week of gloom and doom. Let me give you a few choice tidbits from the book to whet your appetite.

On Al Gore and the 2000 Election:

My ultimate opponent in the election was an adversary who seemed to be more machine than man. In other words, he served not his fellow man, but the mechanized bureaucracy of government, and he promised only to increase its size to the greatest in our nation’s history. This mechanical man could recite facts to promote his machine agenda of “taking care” of the environment, of “educating” young people in the sciences and “making friends” with other countries.

This man was named Al Gore, and he was a sitting Vice President. I did not have a nickname for him because I did not have warm feelings for him. I only felt for him what one might feel for a calculator or other type of inhuman thinking box. When we were in close proximity, I could hear the gears in his mind grind when he spoke, and I could see the circuitry in his eyes. And as I campaigned, I began to understand his agenda. He wanted the machines to take over the world.

On John Kerry and the 2004 Election:

Finally, the Democrats boldly attempted to find a candidate who they felt had the best chance of winning. But they could not find one. Many opponents emerged from their opponentry enclaves. There was a funny black man. A screaming man. A very old man. And a very small man who appeared to be a troll of some kind. They were all eliminated by infighting, and by the good laws on the books that keep such people out of public office.

After these initial failures, they did not give up their fight. They turned to dark forces, and created a candidate using perverted science. John Kerry was what they called it. It was a monstrosity put together in a madman’s secret laboratory, a combination of living matter of many different candidates. He had the tall, lanky torso of Abe Lincoln, and the brain of my previous opponent, Al Gore. he also had Michael Dukakis’s hair, Walter Mondale’s charm, and the strong lower jaw of Herman Munster, the great Democratic President of the 1960’s. John Kerry was a scary man, and a scary opponent. His massive block head stared down at you as he lurched at you, as if reaching for your throat. His face was frozen in a grim scowl, the frightful result of the forbidden experiments of his face-builders.

LOL  Go grab a copy now. It’ll cheer you up.  LOL


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 11/09/2006 at 08:53 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorLiterature •  
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calendar   Saturday - August 19, 2006

When You Are Old

I don’t know about you, but I get tired of documenting Moonbat thinking and behavior. When that happens I retreat to some other form of entertainment. Like poetry… a subject I used to have no use for when I was young, but now in my middle-age I find that certain poets, at least, speak to me. So I give you…

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

-- W. B. Yeats, 1893

I particularly like the second verse.


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 08/19/2006 at 01:23 AM   
Filed Under: • Literature •  
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calendar   Tuesday - July 18, 2006

Obituary

Going through childhood in the 1950’s was tough. I had no Nintendo, computer or iPod to play with. In fact, Dad didn’t buy a TV until 1956 ... and even then there were only two channels to watch - from 7:00am to station sign-off around 11:00pm. Kids like me had to fend for ourselves when it came to entertainment. I spent a lot of time at the local movie theatre, playing with friends or .... reading books.

I read voraciously ... any book I could get my hands on. For non-fiction I preferred history, biographies, war stories and science. For fiction, I had two loves: the first was science fiction from the likes of Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, Arthur Clarke and all the writers in John Campbell’s stable of writers during the golden age of Sci-Fi. My second favorite fiction literature was mystery books and one name stood at the top of the list of writers in that genre - Mickey Spillane.

“I, The Jury” was the first Spillane book I picked up (paperback - .25¢) and I was hooked. I thought Mike Hammer was the coolest dude who ever walked the mean streets of the city. And he had a knockout female secretary named Velda that every boy lusted after. Hammer was a “take-no-prisoners” kind of private dick and he took no crap off of anyone. Hard and to the point, you could depend on Mike Hammer to bring the crooks to justice and in some cases he was judge, jury and executioner.

Mike Hammer has all but disappeared from today’s modern touchy-feely, pussified society. Mickey Spillane created a real character who was larger than life and he entertained an entire generation by reminding us that it’s a mean, tough world out there and sometimes you just gotta take out a crowbar and beat the living crap out of some weasel just as an example to the others. Mike Hammer was about as politically incorrect as you could get - but that was back in the days before people started getting offended at the drop of a hat.

Rest in peace, Mickey. You will be missed.

imageimageMickey Spillane
(1918-2006)


CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) - Mickey Spillane, the macho mystery writer who wowed millions of readers with the shoot-’em-up sex and violence of gumshoe Mike Hammer, died Monday. He was 88. Spillane’s death was confirmed by Brad Stephens of Goldfinch Funeral Home in his hometown of Murrells Inlet. Details about his death were not immediately available.

After starting out in comic books, Spillane wrote his first Mike Hammer novel, “I, the Jury,” in 1946. Twelve more followed, with sales topping 100 million. Notable titles included “The Killing Man,""The Girl Hunters” and “One Lonely Night.”

Many Hammer books were made into movies, including the classic film noir “Kiss Me, Deadly” and “The Girl Hunters,” in which Spillane himself starred. Hammer stories were also featured on television in the series “Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer” and in made-for-TV movies. In the 1980s, Spillane appeared in a string of Miller Lite beer commercials.

Besides the Hammer novels, Spillane wrote a dozen other books, including some award-winning volumes for young people. Nonetheless, by the end of the 20th century, many of his novels were out of print or hard to find. In 2001, the New American Library began reissuing them. As a stylist Spillane was no innovator; the prose was hard-boiled boilerplate. In a typical scene, from “The Big Kill,” Hammer slugs a little punk with “pig eyes.”

“I snapped the side of the rod across his jaw and laid the flesh open to the bone. I pounded his teeth back into his mouth with the end of the barrel ... and I took my own damn time about kicking him in the face. He smashed into the door and lay there bubbling. So I kicked him again and he stopped bubbling.”

Mainstream critics had little use for Spillane, but he got his due in the mystery world, receiving lifetime achievement awards from the Mystery Writers of America and the Private Eye Writers of America. Spillane, a bearish man who wrote on an old manual Smith Corona, always claimed he didn’t care about reviews. He considered himself a “writer” as opposed to an “author,” defining a writer as someone whose books sell.

Spillane was born Frank Morrison Spillane on March 9, 1918, in the New York borough of Brooklyn. He grew up in Elizabeth, N.J., and attended Fort Hays State College in Kansas where he was a standout swimmer before beginning his career writing for magazines. World War II broke out and Spillane enlisted. When he came home, he needed $1,000 to buy some land and thought novels the best way to go. Within three weeks, he had completed “I, the Jury” and sent it to Dutton. The editors there doubted the writing, but not the market for it; a literary franchise began. His books helped reveal the power of the paperback market and became so popular they were parodied in movies, including the Fred Astaire musical “The Band Wagon.”

He was a quintessential Cold War writer, an unconditional believer in good and evil. He was also a rare political conservative in the book world. Communists were villains in his work and liberals took some hits as well. He was not above using crude racial and sexual stereotypes.While the Hammer books were set in New York, Spillane was a longtime resident of Murrells Inlet, a coastal community near Myrtle Beach.

He moved to South Carolina in 1954 when the area, now jammed with motels and tourist attractions, was still predominantly tobacco and corn fields. Spillane said he fell in love with the long stretches of deserted beaches when he first saw the area from an airplane.

The writer, who became a Jehovah’s Witness in 1951 and helped build the group’s Kingdom Hall in Murrells Inlet, spent his time boating and fishing when he wasn’t writing. In the 1950s, he also worked as a circus performer, allowing himself to be shot out of a cannon and appearing in the circus film “Ring of Fear.”

The home where he lived for 35 years was destroyed by the 135 mph winds of Hurricane Hugo in 1989. Married three times, Spillane was the father of four children.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/18/2006 at 04:21 AM   
Filed Under: • LiteraturePolitically-Incorrect •  
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calendar   Friday - June 30, 2006

The Rose of Peace

I was reading some W. B. Yeats poetry last night and this one just stuck in my head for some reason. It’s short and powerful. I wonder who he wrote it to.

If Michael, leader of God’s host
When Heaven and Hell are met,
Looked down on you from Heaven’s door-post
He would his deeds forget.

Brooding no more upon God’s wars
In his divine homestead,
He would go weave out of the stars
A chaplet for your head.

And all folk seeing him bow down,
And white stars tell your praise,
Would come at last to God’s great town,
Led on by gentle ways;

And God would bid His warfare cease,
Saying all things were well;
And softly make a rosy peace,
A peace of Heaven with Hell.

– W. B. Yeats 1893

Skipper, you need a poetry catagory.


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 06/30/2006 at 10:55 AM   
Filed Under: • Literature •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
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  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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