Friday - March 18, 2005

The Koffing Anus Speaks

The Koffing Anus Speaks

UN Secretary General Koffing Anus recently stated that Syria must comply with the removal of its troops from Jordan and do so in accordance with a predetermined timetable.

OOOO-OOO-OOO-OO-OO-OO-O!  I’ll bet the Syrians are pissin’ their pants right about now.  Especially considering this latest anal exhalation from the Koffing Anus is based on a Resolution passed over a year ago, Number 1559.

And we all know how well the rest of the world adheres to any UN resolution.  Just ask Iraq, France, Germany, Russia, et.al.

Having learned from their previous failures, this time the UN has no “or else” clause in UNR 1559.  So Syria can obey it or not.  Hell, do whatever you feel like fellas!  The toothless UN won’t make you suffer repercussions unless it is death by boredom at having to listen to them debate how they will do nothing for hours/days/weeks/months on end.  Enough to cause anyone serious head injuries from bashing their heads onto their desks when they nod off.

In more United Nations news (what a useless piece of shit organization---just in case you did not know where I stood on this)

Hundreds of women and children are attacked and raped by UN Peacekeepers.

The punishment for these “peacekeepers”?  One gets fired.  6 get suspended.

What a great life, huh?  A government job that pays many times more than most of these assclowns would ever get in their own country; great benefit; a health plan; retirement; the right to carry guns and.........

best of all.......................

all the free young poontang you can ever get (at gunpoint, natch, because you probably couldn’t get laid anywhere else.)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/18/2005 at 07:35 AM   
Filed Under: • International • United-Nations •  
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Weird Bits, Strange Bits

America’s size is being challenged by Euro-peons!  Well, sort of. In Cyprus, the Czech Republic, Finland, Germany, Greece, Malta and Slovakia the size of men’s waists are larger than in the US.

And to think, we did it with our fast foods!!!

Hell, I always knew there was more than one way to skin a cat when it came to getting rid of those pesky Euro-peons.  Now, if we are smart we will not nationalize our health services which will allow us to overcome obesity and the Euro-peons, having socialized medicines, will never be able to compete and their citizenry will start dropping off like flies of heart disease, diabetes, etc.

Pretty slick, eh?

Geez!!  Some guys are just never satisfied.

You attend a college.  Women are available for the taking, literally throwing themselves on the guys.  Sex is basically on demand.  Hell, don’t like women?  There are guys that’ll bite the pillow for you.

But to steal a RAM?!?!?!

How desperate is that?

Ahhhhh!!!!  Nothing like a little natural selection and cleansing of the gene pool to cheer your day up.

Take a pond. Insert alligator.  Have neighbors feed it.  Alligator grows to almost 9 feet long.  You go play in the pond.

BAM!!!!  You become gator chow.

I can’t say I disagree here.  Take this scenario:  a person knows a neighborhood is bad yet they insist on walking through it at night alone, flashing jewelry and cash, wearing expensive clothes...and when they get mugged will then sue the city for not protecting them and say, “I have a right to walk through there dressed as I want and expect safety.”

How many times do we say, “you moron!  You should know better than to do that.”

Well, the kids in Denmark are saying the same thing about women who dress in short skirts, low-cut blouses, and makeup are themselves to blame if they get raped.

OK, boys and girls, this one is all yours.  Let’s hear it.  Are the Danish kids right?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/18/2005 at 07:31 AM   
Filed Under: • EUro-peons • International • Stoopid-People •  
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   Thursday - March 17, 2005

Monumental Occurrence

For the first (and probably) last time in the history of this blog, I have to agree with the Mad Mullahs in Iran and hereby give my seal of approval for their actions ....

Child Rapist, Murderer Hanged in Iran PAKDASHT, Iran - A young man convicted of raping and murdering 16 boys was lashed 100 times, and then hanged Wednesday in front of a large, angry crowd who pelted him with stones and scuffled with police. Mohammed Bijeh, 23, confessed in court to raping and murdering the children, between March and September 2004. Iranian media have said Bijeh burned the bodies of his victims, all boys between 8 and 15. Bijeh was sentenced to one death sentence for each murder he confessed and 100 lashes of the whip for the rapes. After the flogging, a rope was put around Bijeh’s neck and attached to a hook on a crane. The crane’s arm jerked upward and Bijeh’s body dangled, drawing applause from the crowd.

Barbarous? Not in my opinion, but that’s just me. I could be wrong. In view of the nature of the crimes, I agree with the penalty. Of course, even in Iran, they have Barking Moonbat liberals ....

But Dariush Mehraban said public hangings only promote violence.

“Many criminals have been hanged, but offenses have never reduced. It’s an ugly scene that a human being is hanged even if he has committed many crimes. Revenge is not the solution,” said Merhraban, who watched the hanging.

Mehraban would be right at home in Massachusetts or California or in the ACLU offices. Personally, I think we need to start doling out this kind of punishment (for this kind of crime) here. It’s not “cruel and unusual punishment” as far as I’m concerned. It’s a damned good deterrent.

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/17/2005 at 09:49 AM   
Filed Under: • Crime • International •  
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   Wednesday - March 16, 2005

First…Iraq.  Then……..Venezuela?!?!?!?!?!

What the fuck?!?!?!?!

Does Hugo Chavez and the barking moonbats who lick his ass know something we don’t?

Apparently, yes, since he now has some sort of militia geeks out marching and chanting to defend their country against “the evil empire,” America.  I shit you not, they actually play Star Wars music while they have their little love-fests:

“State TV shows video of U.S. officials criticizing Chavez, while playing the “Star Wars” theme music for the “evil empire.”

Here.......have another quote:

Chanting “fatherland or death,” dozens of President Hugo Chavez’s supporters lined up in formation, vowing to defend the country if the United States tries to invade. Led by an army reservist, the volunteers in black caps said their numbers would swell in the coming months.

Again, WTF,O?!?!?!

Oh, and he says he will cut off our oil if we try to assassinate him.  What a pissant.

As if this is not bad enough, this communist piece of shit is now taking land from private citizens and giving it to “poor peasants.”

Does this smack of Zimbabwe to anyone? Remember THAT raging success?

Hat Tip: Yankette

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/16/2005 at 06:21 PM   
Filed Under: • International • Politics •  
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I Like This Concept

They say the animal world is both brutal and efficient.

Putting that concept to work in a zoo is refreshing.

But the PC police’s tentacles reach all the way to China now.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/16/2005 at 12:39 PM   
Filed Under: • International •  
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Someone Explain This One To Me

I must have missed something in reading this piece but hopefully one of you can enlighten me.

Four Italian air traffic controllers were arrested in the deaths of 118 passengers a few years ago.  People were outraged when they heard the men laughing in the background as the plane crashed.

But then the story goes on to say the ground control radar was switched off pending proper installation. 

That gives me the impression that if the radar was off they’d have no way of knowing the plane was coming in.  Plus their laughter had nothing to do with the crash.

What am I missing?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/16/2005 at 06:26 AM   
Filed Under: • EUro-peons • International •  
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   Tuesday - March 08, 2005

Imagine This

A man is out on a date with a woman.  After dinner, a show and some drinks they end up at her place.

One thing leads to another and taking non-verbal clues he begins to seduce her.  Before long she’s laid out on the sofa and he starts going at it.

She has second thoughts and asks him to stop.  Technically, at this point if he continues he is comitting rape. She demands he withdraw.  He’s comitted to stay the course, though, and tells her, “how about if I just pull back a bit and not drive it all the way in.  I’ll just stay a little bit in.”

It’s still rape, isn’t it?

Now, change the names to Jordan, Syria and the Syrian troops.

Get the picture?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/08/2005 at 07:05 AM   
Filed Under: • International • Terrorists •  
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   Monday - March 07, 2005

The Italian Kerfuffle

I started writing this a couple of days ago so as you read it you will see how the story has evolved and why I say what I say early on.

Of course our government will make apologetic mewling noises over this but I could care less what happened to that leftist, pro-communist Italian press bitch and her body guard.

All indications are that the driver was speeding towards an American checkpoint (why speed?  they were not being chased.  She did not break out.  They were not being pursued.)

So our guys fired on the car and killed the bodyguard.

The Italians, natutally, have their collective panties in a wad over the death of ONE (1) person!!!!  But that’s really not news either considering they have no idea what it’s like to fight anymore.  Hell, you ever see the Italian Navy?  Neither have I.  It’s at the bottom of the ocean.  (ha ha)

State funerals are in order, diplomatic notes are being traded, and this bitch will now launch a drive against the US for this “HEINOUS ACT OF WAR” against her person by the war-mongering imperialistic Americans.

If any punishment is due to American soldiers it is to the one who fired the bullet that killed the guard.  He should be taken to the range and taught how NOT to miss ranting, raving, lunatic communist bitches like this one.

But it gets better.

If you go to this link

“Sgrena said the driver began shouting that they were Italian, then “Nicola Calipari dove on top of me to protect me and immediately, and I mean immediately, I felt his last breath as he died on me.”

What melodramatic bullshit!  Remember, this bitch is a communist and hates the US.  She’s also had lots of time to dramatize her story.

She also wrote:

“that her captors warned her as she was about to be released not to signal her presence to anyone, because “the Americans might intervene.  If we had run into someone, meaning American troops, there would have been an exchange of fire, and my captors were ready and they would have responded."”

What the bitch does not admit is that her government BOUGHT her freedom!!  They paid ransom.  Of course her captors don’t want anyone to be signaled because then the jig is up.

If you go here you will see that she says:

“U.S. forces may have deliberately targeted her because Washington opposed Italy’s policy of dealing with kidnappers.”

Of course,

She offered no evidence for her claim

Every time I hear the news about this I hear that over and over and over and over and over and over how she claims we targeted her but “never offers evidence for her claim.”

So why the FUCK does the MSM continue to parrot that stupid accusation? It has no basis in fact.

Oh, that’s right-------bad for Bush and America , good for the press and leftists and America haters and Democrats.  And like CBS with the Bush papers, it does not matter if it’s true or not it only matters if they THINK there may be truth in it.  So the constant telling and re-telling of the lie becomes the truth.

Saving the best for last, here is an article from the Washington Times that lays out what most probably happened.  In it we find out Italian secret service weenies kept information about the negotiations from our CIA.  Sorry, but all this leads me to believe that our soldiers had no choice but to shoot.  Hell, if a car comes at them at 25-30 MPH and the driver does not stop after being signaled not to, then ---shoot at will, boys!!!!

What irks me even more about all this is all the attention being paid to one person who dies accidentally.  It’s a fucking war, people!  I wonder how many good soldiers will now get punished for this.  And we wonder why recruitment goals can’t be met?  Hell, if you call me a soldier but tie my hands so I can’t do anything and I then become nothing but fodder for the enemy, then why the hell would I want to be a soldier?

Good God!  Using today’s rationale for taking the littlest of stories and blowing it up out of proportion, aren’t you glad we are not fighting WW II today?  With today’s leftists we’d be paying the Japanese for damage to their airplanes in the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/07/2005 at 07:05 AM   
Filed Under: • International • Military • Politics • War-Stories •  
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Dem Crazee Fur’Ners

Years ago when our parents were sitting around the breakfast table reading the paper or sitting in the living room watching TV, they had no idea life around this planet could be so bizarre.

But thanks to the ‘net I can bring you these strange snippets:

China is trying to crack down on fakes and forgeries in order to ingratiate itself among the international business community.

So guess what’s next on the list of “fakes and forgeries?”

Lip-synching.

You are doing work on your kitchen.  You slip, you fall.  Later you get a BIG headache.  Aspirin does not help.  You’re hungry.  You want some bread but can’t find the knife.  Your headache is worse.  You go to the hospital.

OOOPS!!  There’s that pesky knife!!  Buried in your skull!!  And you had NO IDEA it was there?

Come one.  This guy had to be drunk as a skunk to not realize it.  That potato vodka kicks ass!  Plus, no bleeding?!?!?!?!

Natural selection is working.

Kid goes to a disco.  He decides to walk home 3 miles. He dies of frostbite and hypothermia.

Oh, did I mention there was snow on the ground?  And that he was wearing only a t-shirt and jeans?  Dumbass.

It snows.  A lot.  A kid goes out to play in it and along with a friend decide to build a large snowball.  The kid is at the bottom of the hill when the snowball “rolls” down and crushes him.

Sorry, but that had to be one hell of a snowball!!!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/07/2005 at 07:02 AM   
Filed Under: • International •  
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   Saturday - March 05, 2005

Bad News For OldCatMan

Since he’s never flown I doubt he’s ever gone to Amsterdam but I am certain he is aware of the cult of Cannabis cafes that exist there.

Well, the Dutch are doing something about it all (it took them long enough.)

“There has been a crucial and significant change in the Dutch cannabis policy. They now say for the first time that cannabis is not harmless and that coffee shops are not blameless.”

If you think our Congress-critters pass stupid laws, read how this whole dope thing works there:

Cannabis use is not illegal, but possession of the drug is against the law. However, anyone caught with less than 30g of the substance is not prosecuted. Anyone aged over 18 can buy up to five grams of cannabis in a coffee shop, which is allowed to hold a stock of up to 500g. But technically the shop owner is breaking the law and can be prosecuted for buying large quantities of cannabis in the first place and transporting it to the shop.

I don’t know about you but I seriously believe marijuana use is NOT harmless.  Unless you consider things like short term memory loss or driving really slowly or losing your train of thought harmless.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/05/2005 at 08:18 AM   
Filed Under: • EUro-peons • International •  
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There’s Gotta Be Something In The Water In Canada

When you have people attributing unexplainable behavior to thousands of highly polished, spinning turnips then I say the country as a whole is in need of meds.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/05/2005 at 07:56 AM   
Filed Under: • International • Science-Technology •  
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   Friday - March 04, 2005

America Haters Must Be So Pissed Off They Can’t See Straight

Yesterday I posted about an interview that Jon Stewart had with that America-hating c**t, Nancy Soderberg.  In the transcript Jon made mention of the successes the Bush administration is having in foreign policy.  Nancy chimes in with words to the effect that the only good news Dems want from Bush are stories where he is failing.

Well, in contrast to that bitch, another uber-liberal, Daniel Schorr, from NPR recently wrote a column wherein he admits:

During the run-up to the invasion of Iraq, President Bush said that “a liberated Iraq can show the power of freedom to transform that vital region.”

He may have had it right.

Damn!  That must have hurt him like hell to have to admit what he did but I can’t help but wonder if he is doing so to alienate himself from the other losers in the socialist/democratic party.

This story is even better and comes from overseas.

Y’all remember the movie, “The Life Of Brian” where Reg is trying to incite his fellow citizens to revolt against the Romans and yells out:  “What have the Romans ever done for us?”

And then a whole laundry list comes out of great stuff the Romans actually did do for the people of those times?

Well, Euro-Peons are going through that right now and Gerard Baker walks us through a Monty Python-esque equivalent of “The Life of Brian” titled “What Have The Americans Ever Done For Us?”

“What have the Americans ever done for us?”

“Well, they did get rid of the Taleban in Afghanistan. ’Orrible bunch, they were.”

“All right, the Taleban, I grant you.”

“Then there was Iraq. Knocked off one of the nastiest dictators who ever lived and gave the whole nation a chance to pick its own rulers.”

“Yeah, all right. Fair enough. I didn’t like Saddam.”

“Libya gave up its nuclear weapons.”

“And then there’s Syria. Thousands of people on the streets of Lebanon. Syrians look like they’re pulling out.”

“I just heard Egypt’s going to hold free presidential elections for the first time. And Saudi Arabia just held elections too.”

“The Palestinians and the Israelis are talking again and they say there’s a real chance of peace this time.”

“All right, all right. But apart from liberating 50 million people in Iraq and Afghanistan, undermining dictatorships throughout the Arab world, spreading freedom and self-determination in the broader Middle East and moving the Palestinians and the Israelis towards a real chance of ending their centuries-long war, what have the Americans ever done for us?”

It’s great stuff.  Go read it.  His summation is awesome.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/04/2005 at 11:33 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • International • Politics •  
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Barbarians

But what else can we expect from Islam and its followers?

This story is sickening.  A woman goes to a village council to demand justice for the sodomy done to her brother by men from another tribe.  She protested the council’s solution and the tribal chief ordered her raped by those same men who sodomized her brother.

At trial, the men were given death sentences.

On appeal, Pakistan’s high court acquitted them all.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/04/2005 at 07:39 AM   
Filed Under: • International •  
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It Won’t Be Long Now

You watch.  Within 6 months Robert Mugabe will be at the United Nations begging for food for his people because the white landowners who were responsible for growing most of the food for the country had their lands appropriated and in some cases the whites were slaughtered as part of Mugabe’s plan to return the land to its “rightful owners.” Mugabe then gave it away to his cronies, the stupid spear-chucking, machete wielding morons who had no clue how to operate machinery or plant seed.

Now he threatens to take land away from them and give it to even more people in smaller pieces--another idea doomed to failure as NONE of those people are capable of farming in scales exceeding garden size.

I first wrote about this “appropriation” here.

I say, “FUCK THEM!!” Let them starve to death.

That piece of shit Mugabe should be shot and his head put on a pike as a warning to others who try to ruin a country as bountiful as Zimbabwe once was.

I hope the US does not fall for his wailing and crying by donating food or assistance.  If it does it should be on the condition that Mugabe resign and be tried for crimes against the state and that the government return the land to the former landowners, pay them reparations for losses and provide armed security for their well being.  That way Zimbabweans can once again feed themselves.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/04/2005 at 07:12 AM   
Filed Under: • International •  
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