Monday - March 21, 2005

Stop Right There!

Halt! Stop! I want somebody to ‘SPLAIN this to me and I mean right damn now! I know I’ve been ill and feverish and seeing things but don’t EVER send me a picture like this in an e-mail without an explanation (or at least a set of instructions). Now, just WTF is going on with this????

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/21/2005 at 07:18 PM   
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   Wednesday - March 09, 2005

Weird Wednesday

Natural selection strikes again.  Four guys enter a tequila drinking contest.  One drinks 50 shots. The others a bit less.  One died.

Good.  Let’s hope he didn’t procreate before he kicked off.

Remember Bobby Fischer, the chess whiz?  He’s in Japan awaiting extradition to the US.  He apparently didn’t like his breakfast He’s in solitary.

I wonder if they gave him a chess board for companionship?•••

Before you go to the library you better take a shower.

I’ve always known that animals lick their cuts and bruises in order to make them better.  Something about the salvia containing some sort of amino acids (or something) that inhibit bleeding and promote healing.

But if you are a football player and cut your knee do you want your coach licking it? YECH!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/09/2005 at 06:09 AM   
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   Wednesday - February 23, 2005

Revolution !

From today’s Washington Post, unrest in Beirut ....

A crowd was still gathered at Hariri’s resting place well after midnight early yesterday. Thousands of candles—many bearing Christian icons, others Muslim designs—flickered in a semicircle around the grave and melted together into a multicolored patina of wax. Mourners have written angry messages in Arabic on a nearby wall denouncing Syria, whose troops occupy Lebanon and which many Lebanese blame for Hariri’s murder. “The Ugly Syrian,” says one. “Get Out of Here,” says another. For people who have been frightened even to mention Syria’s name, it must feel liberating just to write those words.

Over by the Martyr’s Monument, Lebanese students have built a little tent city and are vowing to stay until Syria’s 15,000 troops withdraw. They talk like characters in “Les Miserables,” but their revolutionary bravado is the sort of force that can change history. “We have nothing to lose anymore. We want freedom or death,” says Indra Hage, a young Lebanese Christian. “We’re going to stay here, even if soldiers attack us,” says Hadi Abi Almouna, a Druze Muslim. “Freedom needs sacrifices, and we are ready to give them.”

Brave words, in a country where dissent has often meant death. “It is the beginning of a new Arab revolution,” argues Samir Franjieh, one of the organizers of the opposition. “It’s the first time a whole Arab society is seeking change—Christians and Muslims, men and women, rich and poor.”

I would like to offer the following to the people of Lebanon and to any other people in the Middle East who are tired of tyrants, dictators and theocrats. These words are provided free of charge. Use them as you best see fit ....

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/23/2005 at 10:33 PM   
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   Tuesday - February 22, 2005

Caption This !

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/22/2005 at 02:18 PM   
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The Future Of Government?

I wish there were a way to grab all the people who insist the government take care of them and FORCE them to read this article (after which we’d beat them senseless for their stupidity)

I couldn’t believe it when I read it.  I was expecting be told that the this man had a history of mental illness or that he was violent or had unclean habits.  None of the above.

But off to the mental hospital he was dragged, kicking and screaming against his will.

All because the state thought he was for too fat.

What’s next?  Smokers dragged off to re-hab against their will?  Kids who draw pictures of guns dragged off for re-education?

And this was ENGLAND!!!!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/22/2005 at 06:39 AM   
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   Saturday - February 19, 2005

Shall We Play A Game?

Hint: “F” is Douglas McArthur.

Posted by 1IDVET     on 02/19/2005 at 09:25 PM   
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We Live In The Theater Of The Absurd

What was it Shakespeare said about life and theater?

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women, merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts…”

Or how about this?

Life’s but a walking shadow,
a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard no more;
it is a tale told by an idiot,
full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Well, here’s a post full of idiots, players, fools and ultimately, nothing of merit.

Guess who’s being nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?

Bono!

Give me a fucking major league break!  Bono?!?!?!  Of U2??!?!

That pissant who can do nothing on his own unless he’s attached to some group or other important person?

And you wonder why I look upon the Nobel Committee with such disdain?

Only in San Francisco, I guess.

A guy is driving his car (only it’s identified as an SUV because that’s what the left likes to do now.  SUV are MEAN, GAS GUZZLING, ENVIRONMENT WRECKERS.  If it’s a pick-up or a station wagon or a hatchback they’re just called cars) and decides to throw his cigarette out the window.  It blows back in and “immediately" ignites burning the vehicle to the frame.

I’ve got a problem with this.  For one, a cigarette just CAN NOT do this unless there were highly flammable objects in the back seat to allow this seemingly spontaneous combustion.

What was in the back seat?  Is this guy making up a story to cover something else up?  Could there have been other cigarettes smoldering back there?

And why is he being charged for littering?  The cigarette never hit the street.  Unless now in California you can get arrested for “intent to litter?” If I were this guy I’d get a lawyer on the littering charge to find out if anyone else whose car burned up also got charged with littering.

Where is the investigative reporting for this?  Why weren’t these questions asked?  Fucking moonbats!

And the MSM wonders why we despise it.

I can just imagine how the leftist moonbats in the press in San Francisco would have titled this story. 

Go on, give us some ideas.  Show us your creativity in journalistic skills.

I Want My Property Rights

That’s what this guy must be thinking.  He is now in jail after unsuccessfully attempting to force out bad tenants.

Give him credit for creativity.

Show Us Your Tits!!!

At least that’s what these women are alleging their employers made them do-----to gorillas.

Yes, it’s in San Francisco again.  What the fuck is wrong with that city?  It’s worse than Sodom and Gomorrah. 

Go ahead and read this.

Homo Penguins In The News

First I posted this about queer penguins in Antarctica.

Then Allan posted this. (see the 9th link)

As a follow-up, I have this story about how homosexual groups around the world (no pun intended) are upset that the German Zoo mentioned in Allan’s post is trying to make the queer penguins “straight.” They have been:

“protesting at the zoo’s attempts to “cure” the penguins of their homosexuality. The zoo has been bombarded with threatening letters and phone calls saying that gay penguins have a “right to a free choice of partner”.

I could never have dreamed up the association between this woman’s name and her comments.  Life imitates art, I guess. Pronounce her name phonetically, with a “ooooo” sound.

“What we don’t know is whether our three male couples are, in fact, homosexual or whether they’ve only got together because of a dearth of females,” Mrs Kuuck said.

Wonder no more why I do not watch television.

From Germany we have researchers saying that TV causes 20,000 German deaths a year.

Hell, send them more Baywatch, Sex in the City, 24, Sopranos, Square Bob Sponge Pants (hehe) etc. and with any luck they’ll all be dead soon.  Then we can give the whole country to the homosexual penguins.

The scene:

Man:  “Honey, let’s go out to eat tonight.”

Woman: (unless you are in San Francisco and then it’s be another man) “OK, just let me change clothes.”

Man:  “No need.  Go as you are.”

Woman:  “Silly, I’ve already started changing and I’m naked.”

Man:  “That’s my point.”

Let this be a lesson to smart-asses at airports.

Mouth off at the ticket agent and your luggage gets blown to smithereens.

When you are overrun with Muslim wackoes it’s one thing.  But when you also have people like this, then maybe it is time for this country to be hit by a tsunami so it can be “cleansed.”

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/19/2005 at 07:58 AM   
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   Thursday - February 17, 2005

You Be The Art Critic

Below are two pieces of “art”. It is your job as art critic to decide which one really qualifies as art. Give us your best evaluation of each one and tell us why you think it is better than the other. I know you have all seen the first one before. It recently sold for millions. The second one is from an “up and coming female artist” in San Francisco. Now, give us your opinion and then go visit the web page of the artist who did the second painting .... but give us your critique first.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/17/2005 at 12:59 PM   
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Something’s Wrong With Our Kids

I just can not imagine this kind of crap being done back when I was a kid.  And if it were, the kid would be on a one-way ride to reform school.

Sick little bastards who only got probation.  If I were a parent in that area I would DEMAND to know where those little bitches were going to school and I would do everything in my power to alert every other parent of their actions.

A 12 year old girl kills her 9 year old sister but is only found out after nightmares which did not allow her to sleep caused her to admit to the act.

Over a hamburger.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/17/2005 at 06:59 AM   
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   Saturday - February 12, 2005

The Brass Monkey Tales

This one is just for Vilmar. You all probably already know that for several years Vilmar spent the Antarctic summers down under. WAAAY down under. We’re talking South Pole. Brass monkeys without balls. Research scientists and station staff who are out of their freaking minds (which kinda explains Vilmar’s odd behavior on “flashback days").

This morning, I received this shot of the Annual Underwear Race at McMurdo Station. The temps were a balmy -10 degrees. The insanity is self-evident. Please be kind to our Benevolent Dictator in the future. The man just ain’t right, I tells ya.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/12/2005 at 03:30 PM   
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   Friday - February 11, 2005

To Have And Have Not

North Korea has nukes.

Prince Charles finally has Camilla.

The Democrats have Dean.

Iran has a threat.

Canadian unions have a Wal-Mart boycott.

A British woman now has her ex-boyfriend’s nuts.

Chinese commies now have their own (capitolist) businesses.

Al Jazeera has nothing but love for Ward Churchill.

German penguins have a queer eye.

A British bridesmaid has fleas.

Bananas have pyjamas [sp?].

It’s 3:00am, I have insomnia.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/11/2005 at 03:56 AM   
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   Wednesday - February 09, 2005

Poor Widdle Victim!!

You’ve heard of this already, right? About the kid in LA who was shot by the cops?

The whole community is pissed off.  The cops are “RACISTS.” “POOR, INNOCENT CHILD!” “COPS ARE TRIGGER HAPPY!”

I am sure lawsuits will be filed.  For all I know Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan and all the other victicrat race baiters are on their way.

Somehow the community can not quite grasp the concept of a 13 year old out at 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING, stealing a car, ramming a cop car and not stopping when told to do so as being criminal behavior.  Hell, I admire the restraint the cops showed in not shooting the little fuck sooner.

But now he is dead.  Good.  Hopefully he did not procreate.

Oh, a few more things the press feels is important to share:

--he was an 8th grader

--he was in a “gifted” school (code word in LA for worthless fucktards unfit to be in a room with other humans)

--the community wants every cop fired

Of course, the police chief has already apologized.  Hell, I would have said, “the little fuck deserved it and we’ll do it again---with glee!” That comment, of course, would set the whole community on fire and they’d protest.  Giving me all the more reason to kill more of these bastards.  Gotta defend my cops, right?  Shoot to kill, boys!

One last thing.  Family members said they were too distraught to show up at the protest.  My guess?  The mother was getting pimped out.  The father was nowhere to be found.  Sisters were pregnant and the brothers were selling crack on the corner.

Read about it here.

For sheer entertainment value, read the Imperial Torturer’s fisking of this story at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler.

Read the comments, too.  You find nuggets like this one: “your latest litter of multi-paternity piglets” That is SO descriptive!!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/09/2005 at 06:22 AM   
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   Monday - February 07, 2005

We Are All Going To Die Tomorrow, February 8

That’s right. We’re all going to die .... if you’re running Windoze, that is. Microsoft is planning to release a monster batch of patches through Windows Update tomorrow. Thirteen patches in all. Bend over, place your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye.

May God Have Mercy On Us All. Amen.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/07/2005 at 03:38 PM   
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   Saturday - February 05, 2005

Blame It On Rio

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil – Fat King Momo, the Lord of Misrule, declared Carnival open in the Brazilian city of Rio de Janeiro Friday and called on revelers to have fun but use condoms during five days of the world’s biggest party. The government is distributing 11 million condoms for free during the Carnival week in Brazil.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/05/2005 at 07:17 PM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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