Saturday - February 04, 2012

Ewww Ewww Ewe!

Animal sex abuse is on the rise in Germany, with bestiality brothels being set up across the country, according to a state animal protection officer demanding stronger laws to protect mankind’s furry and feathered friends.

Madeleine Martin, the animal protection official for Hessian state government, said the law needed to be changed to make sex abuse of animals – known as zoophilia – a crime.

“It is punishable to distribute animal pornography, but the act itself is not,” she told the Frankfurter Rundschau daily paper on Friday.

“There are even animal brothels in Germany,” she said. Sex with animals was being increasingly seen as a lifestyle choice, and thus more acceptable.

“Zoophilia must be completely banned in the reformed animal protection law,” said Martin, referring to the governments plan to rework that section of the law.

Sex with animals was banned until 1969, when the animal protection law was introduced, but failed to include a specific ban on zoophilia, the Frankfurter Rundschau said.

What gives with the Germans? They have the sickest porn this side of Japan, and now this. Whattsa matta, German girls aren’t good enough anymore?

Posted by Drew458     on 02/04/2012 at 10:48 AM   
Filed Under: • CULTURE IN DECLINE • Eye-Candy • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - February 01, 2012

TooDaze Big News From England

Couple still has wedding present toaster from 60 years ago.

And it was made in England.

They believe their toaster is the oldest in Britain.

And Fred and Joan Horley have no problem remembering just how old their appliance is.

The Morphy Richards device was a gift for their wedding which took place on May 23, 1953, and has been going strong ever since.

Delighted with his kitchen appliance, Fred, 80, from Glenholt, Devon said: ‘We have gone through a dozen electric kettles in that time but the toaster is as good as new.

‘I have never had to touch it. The chrome is still in perfect condition except a few marks on the top.’ ‘I don’t think they make them in such good quality any more.’ ‘We are very proud of it. It really is the best thing since sliced bread.’

‘We didn’t consciously keep it, it is just that we never had any reason to replace it. The only other thing I’ve still got from my wedding day is my wife.’

I think congratulations are in order, both for them and for their well built little appliance.

Posted by Drew458     on 02/01/2012 at 01:11 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor • UK •  
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   Tuesday - January 31, 2012

Is This Why Christopher Retired?

Posted by Drew458     on 01/31/2012 at 11:57 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Monday - January 30, 2012

In My Inbox

Posted by Drew458     on 01/30/2012 at 07:41 AM   
Filed Under: • Guns and Gun Control • Humor •  
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   Friday - January 27, 2012

Teach The Public Well

A bit of a PSA in Ireland?

Posted by Drew458     on 01/27/2012 at 01:03 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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silly but cute. do these folks think this kind of thing will get ppl to stop eating meat?

Although to be very honest, taking a bite outta her might be an experience.  Purely as an educational endeavor of course.

Posted by peiper     on 01/27/2012 at 11:52 AM   
Filed Under: • Daily Life • Humor • UK •  
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   Tuesday - January 24, 2012

jobsworth at the tax office

The IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”

“Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way."What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO.  “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”

Posted by Drew458     on 01/24/2012 at 01:31 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Monday - January 23, 2012

This is probably Raaaacist

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan.  In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.  KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BOOM!  BULLS-EYE!

“I’ve got to get this guy!” the coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old Muslim woman says. “You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won one of the greatest sporting events in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!”

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.”

Posted by Drew458     on 01/23/2012 at 08:42 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Sports •  
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   Thursday - January 19, 2012

Wrong Ingredients

I would have thought this cocktail was made mostly from sour grapes -

Posted by Drew458     on 01/19/2012 at 12:47 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Sports •  
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Where’s My Preciousssss?

I was waiting for this. FARK.com was down yesterday for the SOPA protest. I couldn’t remember the source.

The Cleveland Zoo has entered the race for the most disgusting animal on the planet.

It’s called an ‘Aye-aye.’

Of course, FARKERS weighed in:

This is the reason I don’t drink tequila anymore. I woke up next to one of these and she wouldn’t stop calling for weeks.

They’re like Lovecraftian squirrels.

“I don’t know what it is, but it keeps asking for ‘Precious’”

Dobby? Is that you? You’ve really let yourself go.

Posted by Christopher     on 01/19/2012 at 07:19 AM   
Filed Under: • Animals • Humor •  
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   Saturday - January 14, 2012

I am soooo using this

I found the image for my next run of business cards for the window cleaning business.

Posted by Drew458     on 01/14/2012 at 09:06 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Thursday - January 12, 2012

It’s Gonna Be A Great Day

I saw this this morning at the store, and laughed so hard I almost cried. AAA+++. Fantabulous!

Posted by Drew458     on 01/12/2012 at 09:09 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Obama, The One •  
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   Sunday - January 08, 2012

Empathy? Who has any?

Source

Emperor Misha I has ranted…

The “Empathy” of the Loony Left
Posted by Emperor Misha I on January 7, 2012

It’s Saturday, so it’s time for Steyn, who this weeks talks about the strange version of “empathy” the Prognazis employ.

You know, the kind of “empathy” that extends only to the “right” of pregnant women to exterminate their “fetuses”, but certainly not to the parents of children who died before or immediately after birth. Witness Prognazi Alan Colmes, that throwback to the darkest ages of knuckle-dragging barbarism, who had a jolly old time mocking the Santorums for “taking home their dead infant to ‘play’ with it”, followed by the equally morally repugnant stinking swine Eugene Robinson who stated that this “proved” that Santorum was not “merely” weird, but really weird.

We’ll let Steyn say it (and you really ought to go read the whole thing):

But needs must, and victory by any means necessary. In 2008, the Left gleefully mocked Sarah Palin’s live baby. It was only a matter of time before they moved on to a dead one.

We haven’t ever had to face the horror of having a child die but, as Steyn says, there but for the Grace of G-d.

The thing is, even though we’ve never had to deal with an experience and horrible as that, we still somehow manage to scrape up enough humanity and actual empathy not to piss on somebody who has gone through it. It must be that cold, indifferent, self-sufficient right wing nuttism in us, unlike the true humanitarians in the Prognazi Party who, like that lizard-faced freak mutation, Alan Colmes, couldn’t find it in himself to even apologize for something he shouldn’t have said in the first place until he’d reduced Mrs. Santorum to tears with his callous, cruel, subhuman mockery.

May Almighty G-d have mercy on his shriveled, black soul, because we won’t. He’s dead to us.

But such is the “empathy” of the Prognazis that they forever brag about and use as a contrast to us evil, indifferent, hatey haters of the right.

Where’s their empathy for the citizens living in dangrous neighborhoods who can’t defend themselves thanks to the Prognazis’ insistence that only criminals ought to be armed? Where’s their empathy with the families of victims of violent crime when they do everything they can to make sure the criminal is let out quickly to murder, maim and rape again? Where’s their empathy with poor families who will soon be unable to pay their electric bills thanks to their fascist Ogabe EPA’s war on energy production? Where’s their empathy with the millions of Americans who have lost everything, not only their jobs, thanks to their war on business?

Where’s their empathy with the coming generations of Americans who will be born with an overcharged national credit card, a debt they’ll never be able to repay, just so the Prognazis could keep on living high on the hog and charge their vote-buying, nepotistic schemes to generations not even born yet?

Yet we’re the Evil Ones.

Well, if what the Prognazis have been exhibiting for everybody to see for as long as they’ve been around is “empathy”, then they can fucking well have it. We’ll stick with our “hateful” ways and be proud of them too.

Fuck them sideways with the Shimmering, Shit-encrusted, Splintered Shillelagh of Sodom (+4 against Socialist Shits), may they be humped viciously for all eternity by the Many-headed Monster Cock of Moloch until their shredded innards run down their legs and may G-d, in his mercy, grant us all the blessing of amnesia that we may, one day, forget our sinful negligence in suffering them to walk among us unmolested.

Thatisall.

You gotta love his way with words and alliteration.

Shimmering, Shit-encrusted, Splintered Shillelagh of Sodom (+4 against Socialist Shits)

Why is it I think he misspent part of his youth playing D&D?

Posted by Christopher     on 01/08/2012 at 12:11 PM   
Filed Under: • Editorials • Humor • Media-Bias •  
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   Sunday - December 25, 2011

Last Second Christmas Post

In our family, there is almost always somebody who, late on Christmas day, suddenly leaps up and says “Oh! I had another present for _____, but I forgot to wrap it! I’ll be right back!” It almost never fails. This year it was the opposite; when my wife and I got done wrapping everything, we had one present left over. How did that happen? Who should we give it to?

So in the late afternoon, we brought it out and asked the crowd “Who doesn’t own a microplane?" Predictably, my SIL goes “What the !@#$ is a microplane?” So she got it. This is a family of cooks, so we all have several of them. Best woodworking tool that ever made its way into the kitchen drawer, they now come in several shapes and sizes and different gratings. But the thing started out as a wood rasp. Seriously. And is perfect for hard cheese, nutmeg, stick cinnamon, and so forth.

So anyway, here’s a last minute bit of Steve Crowder, that was hiding in a corner of my inbox.  And with that, I bid you goodnight.

Posted by Drew458     on 12/25/2011 at 11:33 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Politically-Incorrect •  
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