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calendar   Thursday - May 29, 2014

An Anti-WhatsIt

Y’all know what a WhatsIt is. That’s where I put up a picture of something strange, and everyone tries to figure out what it might be. This used to be a fun thing to post, but alas, these days is pretty much extinct because the image search engines have the entire world cataloged. Tens, hundreds, of billions of images, and some really amazing pattern recognition algorithms. Find a picture of anything online, and these search tools will find it in microseconds. So it’s just too easy to sneak a peak, and the game of WhatsIt pretty much died.

So here’s an anti-whatsit.


image

image



What you’re looking at is a spatula (aka turner, flipper) made for outdoor grills (aka BBQ, barbecue). It’s made by the Outset brand (see their trademark PI symbol / picnic table symbol). The arm and blade are one solid chunk of stainless steel, and the highly polished rosewood scales have finger grooves. Construction is full tang, ending in a massive squared off hanging loop half an inch thick and over an inch long. The whole tool is 19.3” long, and it weighs nearly as much as a broadsword. Seriously, I’m only exaggerating a little bit here; this is a spatula that tips the scales at nearly 2 pounds. It’s not just a luxurious tool, it’s damn near a weapon. Fit and finish rivals most firearms too. It’s as well made as those fancy top of the line German kitchen knives.

So why is it an anti-whatsit? Because I’m challenging you ... go find one. Go to Google, or Bing, or Dogpile. Do any combination of search terms you want. Pull up images by the hundreds of spatulas, rosewood grill tools, Outset BBQ tools ... nothing. Visit eBay. Visit Wayfair. Visit the company homepage, and look at everything they make, including the rosewood line. Go to Amazon. And I predict you’ll come up with ... nothing. I’m a real gee-whiz at finding stuff on the internet. Usually in just a couple minutes. I looked around for more than an hour. Nada.

I even wrote a nice email to the company contact lady. And she replied how this was part of their rosewood line ... yet not only does this one not show up in that line, not one other piece in the line looks even remotely like it.

If you can find one online, please email me the link or put it in the comments here. Actually, I want the matching fork. Or the matching tongs, though we have nice tongs already.

Pretty sure my wife found this one at our local TJ Maxx, which is depressing, because our TJ’s is one of the ones that gets the close outs, the leftovers, the odd lots and the orphans. That bodes poorly.




I remember, once upon a time, my brother and I bought sets of combination flat wrenches from a tool catalog. It seemed that the original Black & Decker company was going to expand into chrome vanadium stainless steel tools, but after a trial production run decided not to. We got them for a song, regular and metric, and they’ve done the duty for 30 years now, although they are a little on the thin side across the handle edges. Craftsman wrenches are a little kinder on your hands. Perhaps this spatula/product line was the same way: an experiment that failed. Because who else other than me wants to wield a grill tool you could use to repel boarders, use as a pry bar, or even dig in the garden with?

Hey, that gives me an idea!!  (just kidding. She’d kill me.)


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 05/29/2014 at 11:08 PM   
Filed Under: • Fun-Stuff •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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