Sunday - June 08, 2008

Aarrgh, Pirates: It’s Your Fault

A rising surge in pirate attacks along Somalia’s east African coast is primarily rooted in the policies of the United Nations and Western countries, an Islamist spokesman said Friday.

Mohamud Sheikh Ibrahim Suley, spokesman for the Islamic Courts, told Mogadishu media via a teleconference that a recent UN resolution targeting Somali pirates had “taken the wrong route.”

“This decision is backed by Western nations whose agenda is to steal Somalia’s land and sea resources,” Suley said, while referring to UN Security Council Resolution 1816 that effectively authorized foreign countries to use “all necessary means” to combat piracy along the Somali coast.

The Islamists’ spokesman blamed the UN and unnamed countries in the West for allegedly “strengthening piracy,” saying: “As the Islamic Courts fought against piracy, the UN allowed an [Ethiopian] attack against the Courts’ administration, which was known for restoring peace in Somalia.”

During the Islamic Courts reign in south-central Somalia, between June and December 2006, piracy hit an all-time low along the Horn of Africa country’s coastline.

Currently, two foreign-owned vessels are being held hostage by Somali pirates, who have demanded million-dollar ransom payments.

An international force led by the United States Navy has been patrolling Somalia’s coast for months, although critics quickly point out that the presence of naval warships and supporting aircraft has yet to deter pirate attacks.

Are these guys effin kidding me? I’m laughing myself right off my chair here. Right, we’re “strengthening piracy” by deposing another tyrannist government, the African Al Qaeda calling itself the Islamic Courts. But wait, that wasn’t even us, it was the Ethiopians! Ok, we helped a little. The only reason there was almost no piracy under the IC rule is because they decided that boats were haram, and probably shot all the people who knew how to sail them.

And it is true that multinational naval patrols haven’t done much to avert piracy. Because they’re playing nice. Pretty stupid, huh? These assclowns don’t understand nice.

How about if we took a few of those neat new Littoral Warships and a gross or so of PT boats or whatever they’re called these days, and interdicted every single boat that put out from Somali shores? And if we found one gun, one bullet, one RPG aboard, we sunk that boat right on the spot. That would end piracy pretty damn fast.

Or we could set up arms stations in the Gulf, and around the other side of the Horn. “Oh, heading down Somalia way? Here’s your 6 M2 machine guns, 10,000 rounds of ammo, 5 dozen RPGs, 6 sets of night vision goggles, and 6 TOW launchers. And 2 video cameras. And two crates of AK-47s and a few cutlasses. Better hang on to the receipt, because you have to give it all back when you get to the the other side. Or else we sink your ass on the spot. We expect you to fight to the last man, and not get hijacked. Have fun!”

Posted by Drew458     on 06/08/2008 at 09:37 AM   
Filed Under: • Pirates, aarrgh! •  
• Comments (3) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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