BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

calendar   Sunday - January 23, 2005

A Natural Disaster In The Making

Five days ago the number was 31.

Four days ago the number was 28.

Three days ago the number was 27.

Two days ago the number was 25.

Yesterday the number was 23.

Today the number is 19.

That’s the low temperature we are expecting here in Hernando County tonight.

So, given that such low temperatures will be hitting here and given the fact that these extreme temperatures are prejudicial to the life and well being of plant and animal life, I am going to write to Governor Bush to declare this county a “Disaster Area.” Maybe get some money from the government.  Hey, they’ve got lots of it.

Turf will die.  Flowers will die.  Shrubs will die.  Some animals will die.  Birds will fall from the sky---dead and already frozen ready for that kid I mentioned earlier to skin and cook up.

Millions of dollars will be lost.

Hmmmmm, then again, millions will be spent buying new stuff to replace the dead stuff. Lawn guys will make a killing re-building bad turf areas.  Pest control guys will get rich treating peoples’ homes for all the bugs that sought refuge from the cold in their pantries.  Nurseries will rake in money hand over fist for replacement plants.  Wal-Mart will make a shit load from people buying plastics and other frost coverings.  The electric company will “glow” with profits from people running auxiliary electric heaters to warm up their homes and keep their plants warm.

The economy will BOOM!!

Who says Mother Nature is a bitch?  She’s a capitalist tool of that evil Bushitler!!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/23/2005 at 08:57 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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