Sunday - September 07, 2008

A LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA YEAR 2010

I don’t know how I missed a site like this but am thankful to have found it and grateful to Valgerd for making me aware.
So ,, H/T Valgerd.  Again.

I would advise those who haven’t visited this place to please do so. I think you might enjoy the experience.

Cheers and I’m off for the night.

LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA FROM THE YEAR 2010

By seschenbac

OCTOBER, 2010
Mr. President:

First the good news: your approval ratings have jumped dramatically in the last two weeks. You are now at 15% approval which is your highest in the last eighteen months. Primarily, this is due to your decision to stay away from all press conferences that do not use teleprompters.

The restoration of the Fairness Doctrine has enabled us better to manage the information coming out about the various problems of the Administration. The New York Times is continuing to work with us on getting your message out to their 86 subscribers, who are behind you 100% of the time.

Unfortunately, we are having a harder time controlling the Internet and cable television. Your initiative to impose the Fairness Doctrine on Internet bloggers and comments has not been as successful. In fact, it has backfired terribly because bloggers are now using remote servers overseas where we are unable to enforce the law. We have had the FBI pull more agents off of counterterrorism actions to confront these scofflaws, but they seem to pop up at a rate of 10:1 as soon as we arrest anyone.

Jamming continues against Rush Limbaugh’s pirate ships that are broadcasting from offshore and Mexico, but your directives to use only alternative energy reduce their ability to jam his signals to just a few yards from the antennae. He is continuing to ignore your message of Hope, in spite of the law mandating that everyone have hope no matter how dire their personal situation is. His audience seems to be mostly amused by his suggestion that people should hope in one hand and defecate in the other, and see which fills up faster.

Your communications director, Keith Olbermann, continues to provide the press with the Administration’s message from his position as head of NBC News, but their viewers seem to overlap with that of the New York Times, and we are having a difficult time with the other 310 million voters.

Senator Clinton continues her investigations of your Administration in her role as Chairman of the Senate and does not seem to be slowing down. She is now investigating if her proposed nomination to the Supreme Court is just an effort by you to derail her investigations and her already underway campaign to replace you in 2012. We have our operatives working on the matter, but they are unable to get through the barricade of women voters who are now saying “We told you so!”

The financial markets continue to plummet as your phased-in increases of the capital gains tax are set for all gains after January 1st of 2003. The Supreme Court has upheld the retroactivity of the tax thanks to your appointment of Barbara Streisand who has tipped the balance of power there. It seems most of the Justices would rather kill themselves than have to deal with her legal reasoning, which has resulted in the recent spate of 1-0 rulings from the Court. Not to mention the pictures we have of Justice Kennedy with that sheep that he is not married to. We have instructed the Senate Banking and Finance chairs to begin investigation of market manipulations, but to be truthful, we could only leave a message on their answering machines since they refuse to take our calls.

Internationally, our emissaries continue to seek out anyone from the former terrorist group Al Qaeda to apologize for putting Boston in the path of their nuclear weapon. We are also having trouble with Russia, in that Tsar Putin is rejecting our message of hope and understanding. It seems he may be trying to mislead us as he continues mop up operations against Ukraine and the Baltic states. We have been assured that any images showing the destruction of the cities in those countries are just Photoshopped and not really indicative of what is happening on the ground.

Europe continues to reject your offers to mediate their desire to surrender to Tsar Putin, and this has been disappointing. It is our analysis that the Tsar may have bitten off more than he can chew as it seems that Al Qaeda appears to have declared war on the Russians as the infidels, thereby reducing any threats to our nation, except for San Francisco, which our scientists estimate will be able to be reoccupied in about 250 years if the anthrax eradication continues on schedule. Al Qaeda operations have continued against the Russian occupied cities of Prague, Vienna and Rome. We are having a difficult time getting reliable information from those areas due to the residual high levels of radioactivity. Our scientists continue to investigate if that radioactivity can be used as an alternative source of energy since it is in such abundant supply at the moment.

There is good news though in Korea, where Kim Jong Il has declared peace after the successful elimination of all resistance in Seoul. With the surrender of the Republic of Korea, our emissaries are now negotiating with those of the People’s Republic so that you can have a face to face meeting with the Beloved Leader and negotiate his use of the trademarked word “Change” in violation of international intellectual property rights laws.

Politically, we have not seen the benefits of a filibuster proof majority in the Senate. It seems that every Democratic Senator has decided that if you could become President they could too. Considering that they are all more qualified than you, all of them are now also running for President - with the exception of Senator Schumer, who seems to be running for the position of God. He believes that is his appropriate pay grade, since no one else has it.

Your staff wants you to know that we will continue to promote your message of Hope and Change as the solution to all of the Nation’s problems. However, if you could, a few specifics would be greatly helpful. Not that we doubt your sincerity that Hope and Change will work, but we lack your intellectual firepower to figure out how to implement it.

In summary, we are eagerly awaiting the November elections, in which the Republicans are expected to retake majorities in both houses of Congress. At that time we will implement your proposed strategy of blaming them for everything once again.

The future never looked brighter, Sir.

http://tinyurl.com/69j6n2

Posted by Drew458     on 09/07/2008 at 01:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Satire •  
• Comments (12) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

DISCLAIMER

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

THE INFORMATION AND OTHER CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE DESIGNED TO COMPLY WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS WEBSITE SHALL BE GOVERNED BY AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND ALL PARTIES IRREVOCABLY SUBMIT TO THE JURISDICTION OF THE AMERICAN COURTS. IF ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE IS CONSTRUED AS BEING CONTRARY TO THE LAWS APPLICABLE IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY, THEN THIS WEBSITE IS NOT INTENDED TO BE ACCESSED BY PERSONS FROM THAT COUNTRY AND ANY PERSONS WHO ARE SUBJECT TO SUCH LAWS SHALL NOT BE ENTITLED TO USE OUR SERVICES UNLESS THEY CAN SATISFY US THAT SUCH USE WOULD BE LAWFUL.

Copyright © 2004-2015 Domain Owner