Wednesday - February 04, 2015

A Hare Raising Tail

A “huge flock” of jackrabbits in a Fargo, North Dakota, neighborhood has homeowners feeling jumpy.

More than 50 jackrabbits the size of small dogs have been hopping around backyards and a park of a new development in South Fargo, resident Kayla Straabe told ABC News today.

“Every day, I feel like the crazy rabbit lady chasing them out of the yard where they’re having a hay day,” Straabe said. “There’s at least 40 to 50 everyday, and they’re in our yards and by a children’s park.”

She said the city pest control department told her that they couldn’t do anything about the jackrabbits, technically wild hares, because they were wild animals.

“I was told we should poison them, which I will absolutely not do,” Straabe said.

There is no city ordinance that deals with depopulating rabbits in the area, Fargo Police Lt. Joel Vettel told ABC News.

“I can’t imagine someone would suggest poisoning the rabbits, but it’s true we don’t have anything in place to allow us to deal with the rabbits,” Vettel said. “What residents can do is start a formal process to get an ordinance, which is usually done at committee meetings.”

Straabe said the critters were cute at first when a few appeared about two to three months ago. But now, they’re frustrating, she said, noting they’ve multiplied and that they are now leaving their droppings everywhere and devouring trees and shrubs.

Pretty unbelievable. North Dakota? The high plains, the wild west, the great wide open, heartland America? And they’re complaining to the press about bunnies and crying to the government that somebody should solve this problem for them?

This is what happens when you let liberals out of the cities, and allow them to move outside their protected college towns. Great googly-moogly.

Two solutions for you honey…

First up, the ultimate Green way, to deal with your suburban white guilt for encroaching on the jack’s natural habitat: import some wolves. Or a few dozen extra large coyotes. Half a dozen cougars. Sure, your pets are going to become snacks, and you might lose a few of your children here and there, but you’ll be doing it Gaia’s way, bringing back those apex predators, and completing the great Circle Of Life. We’ll even send you a couple native drums and some greasepaint, and you can have a big drum ceremony and dance around a small, carefully controlled, supervised, low carbon emission fire. At a safe distance, of course.

Second method, the standard American way. Go to the store and buy yourself a .22 rifle and a brick of hollow point ammo. Shut up, get to work, solve the situation yourself. Buy a few cases of canned tomatoes too, since prairie rabbit is kinda tough, and needs plenty of stewing.

Un. Frickin. Believable.

PS - Don’t go calling the hares the size of small dogs until they hit 30lb or more. In the real world, something the size of a small dog is the size of ... a small dog. Not that drippy eyed pocket yip-yip you keep because it’s a fashion accessory. That isn’t even a dog, at least not in terms of size metaphors.

Posted by Drew458     on 02/04/2015 at 10:13 AM   
Filed Under: • Animals • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Humor •  
• Comments (7) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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