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Sarah Palin is the other whom Yoda spoke about.

calendar   Tuesday - December 27, 2005

Dance, Fatso!

Remember the hula hoop? If you do, you’re too old to be allowed on the street. Today’s fun toy to help you lose that tummy that you got over the holidays is called the Dancing UFO. Apparently you strap this thing on and start dancing to make the flying saucer gizmo spin around. The faster it spins, the more weight you’re losing. I probably need to buy two for The Skipper ... one for his beer gut and one for his fat head. Bwah-hah-hah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ......

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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/27/2005 at 01:13 PM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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Found Him!

imageimageDirty Rotten $&*#*@^$!!

The Skipper just reported in. Here is the content of the text message he left on my cell phone (he still refuses to answer his cell). According to his best estimates, he is about 2.5 miles south of Destin, Florida at the current moment. There is a light breeze from the South, barometer is steady and the margaritas are perfectly chilled. The dolphins are chasing the boat and he is in a fine mood.

Asshole!

Run off and drop everything in my lap like that! I may have to cook up a surprise or two for him when he decides to return. Do any of you people have any suitable ideas to mess with The Skipper when he returns? I’m thinking I may have to figure out a way to translate all his posts into Lithuanian and change his avatar to a horse’s rear end. Give me some ideas, guys and gals.


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/27/2005 at 11:26 AM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
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The Longest Day

This Saturday, New Years Eve, will be 86,401 seconds long. You have an extra second to party this year. Use it wisely. The Earth is slowing in its rotation and the atomic clocks need to be adjusted. Who or what is to blame for the Earth slowing down? Unless I miss my guess, the Democrats will blame it on an evil Bushitlerhaliburtoncheney conspiracy. You know they will. Just wait ...

imageimageNew Year’s Day 2006: Delayed By A Second
WASHINGTON (Reuters)

Get ready for a minute with 61 seconds. Scientists are delaying the start of 2006 by the first “leap second” in seven years, a timing tweak meant to make up for changes in the Earth’s rotation. The adjustment will be carried out by sticking an extra second into atomic clocks worldwide at the stroke of midnight Coordinated Universal Time, the widely adopted international standard, the U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology said this week.

“Enjoy New Year’s Eve a second longer,” the institute said in an explanatory notice. “You can toot your horn an extra second this year.” Coordinated Universal Time coincides with winter time in London. On the U.S. East Coast, the extra second occurs just before 7 p.m. on New Year’s Eve. Atomic clocks at that moment will read 23:59:60 before rolling over to all zeros.

A leap second is added to keep uniform timekeeping within 0.9 second of the Earth’s rotational time, which can speed up or slow down because of many factors, including ocean tides. The first leap second was added on June 30, 1972, according to NIST, an arm of the U.S. Commerce Department.

Since 1999 until recently, the two time standards have been in close enough synch to escape any need to add a leap second, NIST said. Although it is possible to have a negative leap second—that is, a second deducted from Coordinated Universal Time—so far all have been add-ons, reflecting the Earth’s general slowing trend due to tidal braking.

Deciding when to introduce a leap second is the responsibility of the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service, a standards-setting body. Under an international pact, the preference for leap seconds is December 31 or June 30. Precise time measurements are needed for high-speed communications systems among other modern technologies.


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/27/2005 at 05:17 AM   
Filed Under: • Science-Technology •  
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Turn Out The Lights

I don’t know about you but I have fond memories of Monday Night Football over the years. I haven’t watched it as much in recent years as I did during the 70’s and 80’s. I can hardly believe the weekly football event has been on the air for 36 years. Next year the show will move to ESPN but it won’t be the same for me. Then again, it hasn’t been the same for quite some time. I miss Howard Cosell and his ridiculous toupee ...

imageimage‘’Monday Night Football’’ Signs Off On ABC
December 27, 2005
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. (AP)

Al Michaels turned to Frank Gifford, patted his former broadcast partner on the shoulder and said simply: “I can’t thank you enough.” Football fans feel the same way about “Monday Night Football.” After 36 years on ABC, the television phenomenon concluded its network run with New England’s 31-21 win over the New York Jets, a lackluster game that didn’t come close to epitomizing the special place “Monday Night Football” has held in the American cultural landscape.

There were still plenty of great highlights, just not from players in helmets and pads. Instead, they featured characters in yellow blazers and outdated hairdos, cracking wise into ancient microphones and chomping cigars. The 555th broadcast opened with—who else?—the most recognizable voice in “Monday Night Football” history: Howard Cosell.

And it ended with his longtime foil, country boy Don Meredith, singing his trademark line “Turn out the lights, the party’s over ... .” By the time the song moseyed to a conclusion—ending a final montage more than three decades in the making—Hank Williams Jr. was carrying the tune, with a slight lyric change for the last line: “Mondays will never be the same again.”

Not for ABC, anyway. The series switches networks next season, when ESPN begins an eight-year deal in which it will pay $1.1 billion per year for Monday night rights. “They can take football away from ABC on Monday night,” announcer John Madden said after the game ended, “but they can’t take away the memories.”

- More on this story here ...


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/27/2005 at 04:56 AM   
Filed Under: • Sports •  
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Homo On The Range

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Don Wright, The Palm Beach Post


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/27/2005 at 04:50 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Monday - December 26, 2005

Stupid Criminal Of The Day

Great googley moogley! How stupid can a criminal get? Obviously this fellow deserves to be in the record books. For now though, he will have to be satisfied with a very long prison sentence. Not to put too fine a point on it but this character is also probably a MOOS-lim (Albania is 70% Muslim, according to the CIA Factbook).

Pickpocket Seized At Police Christmas Party
BERLIN (Reuters)

Police in Berlin made their easiest arrest of the year at their annual Christmas party, after spotting a man rummaging through the pockets of their coats in the cloakroom. Officers of the Federal Police criminal investigations unit said the unlucky pickpocket had not known that the revelers in a Berlin brewery were law enforcers.

“He was definitely surprised,” said a police spokesman in Berlin. “He did not realize who he was dealing with.” Confronted with 35 officers, the 45-year-old Albanian, who police said held a forged passport and was wanted for other offences, offered no resistance.


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/26/2005 at 05:37 PM   
Filed Under: • Crime •  
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Quiet Aussie Christmas

I missed the story about the riots in Australia in recent weeks and am just now getting caught up. At least the Aussie police are having a fun time down under. It seems things have finally settled down and everyone is getting along just fine, right? I’ll wait and see before I pass judgement. I don’t think Muslims are really trying to fit in anywhere they go in the world. I might believe their cries of racism if it occurred in just one country. Or maybe two. But this is a pattern that has been repeated from Detroit to Paris to Berlin to Madrid to Sydney to ... everywhere. There’s a pattern alright and I don’t particularly like it. I do however like a country where you can celebrate Christmas and go watch bikinis on the beach all in the same day ...

imageimagePolice Make Merry in Race Riot’s Aftermath
SYDNEY (Reuters)

Australian police patrolled Sydney’s beaches in buggies and on horses decorated with tinsel and reindeer antlers Sunday, as fears of fresh racial violence dissolved into a quiet Christmas Day. On Cronulla beach, where gangs of white surfers and ethnic Lebanese clashed in alcohol-fuelled riots two weeks ago, families spread out across the sand and children ran into the sea—all under the watchful eye of dozens of armed, uniformed police.

Policewomen kept watch from two tinsel-trimmed mounts, horses named Hero and Hollywood, which plodded along the sand wearing fake antlers, while other police officers climbed life-guard towers or scooted along the beach in four-wheeled buggies. “I think everybody has realized that violence is not the answer to all our problems,” said Phil Wardman, sitting with his family on Cronulla’s powdery sand, beneath a postcard-blue sky.

“I wanted to come down today to show I’m not afraid to come here.” Australia is trying hard to mend its image after the riots, which evoked old racist stereotypes and prompted police to throw a security cordon around Sydney’s most popular beaches to head off threats of more violence from white supremacists. Only a week ago, police made dozens of arrests and seized a frightening array of crude weapons, including petrol bombs, knuckle-dusters and wooden clubs studded with nails, from cars stopped and searched at seaside road-blocks.

World publicity of the riots and the police crackdown had sparked fears of a drop in tourism to Australia this summer, but Sydney’s beaches appeared to have returned to near normal Sunday despite the heavy police presence. Hundreds of British and European backpackers and thousands of other sun-worshippers made their annual Christmas Day pilgrimage to Sydney’s most famous summer playground, Bondi Beach, while police patrolled its esplanade in cars and on foot.

- More on this story here ...


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/26/2005 at 05:19 PM   
Filed Under: • InternationalRoPMA •  
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Santa Grounded

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Michael Ramirez—The Los Angeles Times


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/26/2005 at 05:06 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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ACLU Sues Its Own Creation

The American Commie Lunatics Union (ACLU) has once again proven to be a piece of work. First they draft a local outdoor sign ordinance for a town in Kansas then sue the town for fining a man who violated the ordinance. Does that make any sense to anyone out there? I mean, besides Jesse Jackson ....

PRAIRIE VILLAGE, Kan. - A suburban Kansas City man is appealing a ticket Prairie Village gave him for homemade yard signs opposing the war in Iraq. The American Civil Liberties Union of Kansas and Western Missouri is helping David Quinly appeal the citation in Johnson County District Court. Quinly sought the ACLU’s help after losing an appeal in municipal court.

At issue is a Prairie Village ordinance prohibiting signs bigger than 5 square feet and limiting the total area of temporary signs displayed on a property to 10 square feet. Signs can’t be up more than 60 days. “It’s clearly a First Amendment issue,” said Quinly’s attorney, John Simpson. “We think ... that the Prairie Village sign ordinance is too restrictive.”

Quinly had been putting up anti-war signs in his yard since before the U.S. entered Iraq. He was warned two signs exceeded the size limit, but he kept them up, believing any resulting fine would be $20 or $30. After he was cited Sept. 20, he was surprised to find out the fine was $300, an amount he considers excessive.

Quinly said he understands why cities restrict signs, but he believes political signs should be less restrictive than others, not more. Simpson said he will argue that Prairie Village restricts political signs more than other signs, which the U.S. Supreme Court has deemed unconstitutional. “You’ve discriminated, in effect, against political speech, which is the speech most protected in our (First) Amendment,” Simpson said.

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“The law changes all the time in this area,” [City Attorney Charles] Wetzler said, noting the latest version of the ordinance was drafted with the ACLU’s input. “There have been new cases that come out, and if we need to look at it, we will.”


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/26/2005 at 04:55 PM   
Filed Under: • Judges-Courts-LawyersOutrageous •  
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Blog Onward

Still no luck on locating the Skipper. I’ve made several phone calls and sent out dozens of e-mails. So far, no joy. I’ll try to keep you guys updated on the hunt. Until I find him I guess I’m stuck here trying to fill Skipper’s shoes. Fortunately, I’m off work until next week so I’ll try to find some interesting things for you to read.

First off, I want to introduce you to a relatively new blogger. I found his site a few weeks ago and have been following the dude closely. Believe it or not, he is in Kenya. In Africa. And he is blogging. Incredible enough but you have to read his stuff to really get a flavor for the way the internet is changing everyone around the world. In one of his most recent rants, I learned about the Thai government coming to Kenya to purchase African animals for zoos in Thailand. MMK (the blog-dude’s name) and his friends are very unhappy about it. Here is an excerpt ........

They came to Nairobi in November to hoodwink us. Taking time off from his busy schedule of trying to deal with a small constitutional matter, declining national life expectancy, hunger, terrorist attacks, widespread crime, official corruption and a failed state just north of the border, our president took time to engage in the sophisticated arena of international geopolitics. Signing a solemn Memorandum of Understanding with Thai Prime Minister Thaskin Shinawatra, President Kibaki earned Kenya a cool 80 million shillings in return for sending the wild animals to a private zoo in Thailand. What was Mr. Shinawatra thinking? I mean c’mon. Clearly, his ambassador to Nairobi had not informed him that MOUs are really not the way to go in State House. But that is a matter for another discussion.

I demand that we require the Thais to sign and ratify the UN Convention Against Torture before Kenya sends animals to them. We do not want any more Abu Ghraibs after all. Imagine, if you have the courage, what fiendish plots our elands, dik dik and hippos could be subjected to. It makes me quail, yet I want to be true to my optimistic nature.

I have a dream that one day my nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all elephants, orangutans and little black boys are created equal.” I have a dream that one day on the pavements of the Intercontinental, a great cause shall come to fruition: that the bad people who like doing bad things to wildlife will stop and be good and do good things. I have a dream that one day, one day, that I too shall drive a four wheel drive jeep to the national park, and that there, waiting with open arms, will be a Maasai warrior who shall join with me in sustainably loving nature. From the slopes of Mt Kenya to the palm trees of Lamu, I dream that this land will be emptied of its detritus of selfish humans who have transformed an oasis of noble beasts into a desert sweltering with the rot of poaching and tourism. My friends, I have a dream that our apes, fauna and snakes will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their hides or the texture of their scales, but by the amount of conservation funding they attract to our shores. I have a dream today. By any means necessary. Yeah.

Is this guy like, way cool or what? There’s more at African Bullets & Honey ...


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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/26/2005 at 02:37 PM   
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A Mystery

The Skipper is gone. Disappeared. He sent me this picture and told me to tell everyone here that he will be back ... or he may not. He said he hoped you all would understand. That’s all he said. I just tried his home phone and his cell phone. No answer. I’ve been on the road the last month and haven’t checked Skip’s blog lately. Could someone please tell me what is going on? If anyone has any information about the Skipper’s whereabouts, shoot me an e-mail. STAT!

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Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost   United States  on 12/26/2005 at 02:38 AM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
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calendar   Sunday - December 25, 2005

The Message

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
-- Luke 2:7-14, KJV

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/25/2005 at 01:01 AM   
Filed Under: • Religion •  
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calendar   Saturday - December 24, 2005

Season’s Greetings

Well, boys and girls - that’s a wrap for this Christmas Eve. I hope everyone is getting ready for a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or whatever celebration you practice at this time of year. I wish peace and love on all of you this weekend. May all your dreams come true tonight and tomorrow. I want to personally thank all of the fine people who come here to read my pitiful attempts at entertainment and education. It has been another wonderful year and I appreciate all the help and support you have given me and this weblog. You are all wonderful people and very special to me. I couldn’t have done it without you - all of you. I will be out for the next twenty four hours and posting will be light, if at all.

Now the message: All through the year we pick on stupid people here and poke fun at the ridiculous mental midgets in our midst. However, for the next two days I want to urge everyone to put aside your differences and ignore the petty little annoyances from other people. We are all God’s creatures and we have only a limited time on this Earth. We must pause every once in a while and take a rest from our arguments and disagreements to act like grownups, no matter how hard it may be for some people. So go hug your kids, give your parents a kiss, extend a helping hand to a stranger, and if you have time, contemplate the words of the man from Galilee whose birthday we celebrate tomorrow. Peace unto all.

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/24/2005 at 12:18 PM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
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Weird Hobbies, Part CCLXV

What a man does in his free time often tells you a lot about his character. President Bush goes home to his ranch and spends days in the hot sun clearing away scrub brush by hand. President Jacques Chirac of France goes home and tries on his wife’s lacy underwear. But the darndest of them all is Vladimir Putin of Russia who has a black belt in judo and practices regularly .... sometimes for the television cameras. What does that tell us about this man, grasshopper ... ?

imageimageRussia’s Putin Shows Off Judo Prowess
Saturday, December 24, 2005
ST. PETERSBURG, Russia (AP)

President Vladimir Putin showed off his judo skills Saturday in nationwide television footage, giving a master class in his hometown. Russian television stations showed Putin, barefoot and clad in white kimono, doing exercises with other students and then helping them practice various holds at the judo school that he attended in his college years in St. Petersburg.

Putin attended the lesson with Yasuhiro Yamashita, a legendary world and Olympic judo champion from Japan. Putin met Yamashita on a trip to Tokyo last month and invited him to visit Russia. On Friday night, Putin treated Yamashita to a dinner at a St. Petersburg restaurant. Putin has earned a black belt in the sport and co-wrote a judo manual several years ago. “When I am on a judo mat, I feel at home,” the 16-year veteran of the KGB said once.

Putin’s accomplishments in judo and downhill skiing have helped his wide popularity among Russians who like having a physically fit, energetic leader - a sharp contrast to his feeble-looking, frequently ailing predecessor, Boris Yeltsin. The 53-year-old Putin also has relished showing his prowess with all kind of vehicles. Shortly before his first election in 2000, Putin flew as a second pilot in a fighter jet to inspect troops in Chechnya. He later boarded nuclear submarines, ran a snow-covered test course in a huge truck, drove a new locomotive and, most recently, co-piloted a bomber during a military exercise.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/24/2005 at 11:04 AM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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