Wednesday - October 19, 2005

Herding Cats

This “shephard” might as well forget it. All cats know how to do is be finicky, screech and howl and scratch up the furniture. Kinda like the Democratic Party except the Democrats have all been self-neutered and aren’t nearly as cute (or smart) ...

_{Signe Wilkinson, Pennsylvania, The Philadelphia Daily News}

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/19/2005 at 12:52 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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   Tuesday - October 18, 2005

I Gotta Get Me One Of These!

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/18/2005 at 03:46 PM   
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GREAT GOOGLEY MOOGLEY!

Hold the phone! Rumors are one thing but this is another. I have long suspected President Bush might pull off an end-run on Democrats who are interested in running in 2008 (like The Hildabeast) by letting Cheney step down to let the “successor” step into the VP slot to get an early start. I have also suspected the “successor” would be Condaleeza Rice. It turns out I may have suspected right. If this plays out like the rumors that are flying around DC seem to think it might you will soon hear a great wailing and gnashing of teeth from the Left and from Democrats ....

White House Watch: Cheney Resignation Rumors Fly
WASHINGTON (US NEWS)

Sparked by today’s Washington Post story that suggests Vice President Cheney’s office is involved in the Plame-CIA spy link investigation, government officials and advisers passed around rumors that the vice president might step aside and that President Bush would elevate Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

“It’s certainly an interesting but I still think highly doubtful scenario,” said a Bush insider. “And if that should happen,” added the official, “there will undoubtedly be those who believe the whole thing was orchestrated – another brilliant Machiavellian move by the VP.”

Said another Bush associate of the rumor, “Yes. This is not good.” The rumor spread so fast that some Republicans by late morning were already drawing up reasons why Rice couldn’t get the job or run for president in 2008.

“Isn’t she pro-choice?” asked a key Senate Republican aide. Many White House insiders, however, said the Post story and reports that the investigation was coming to a close had officials instead more focused on who would be dragged into the affair and if top aides would be indicted and forced to resign.

“Folks on the inside and near inside are holding their breath and wondering what’s next,” said a Bush adviser. But, he added, they aren’t focused on the future of the vice president. “Not that, at least not seriously,” he said.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/18/2005 at 02:29 PM   
Filed Under: • Politics •  
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As The World Turns

Another kinky teacher, a sex blog, a disgruntled ex-wife, an anonymous letter to the school board .... today’s featured soap opera takes place in the small town of Mansfield, Texas just outside of Dallas ....

Teacher Quits After School Finds Her Sex Blog
MANSFIELD, Texas (AP)

A Mansfield elementary school teacher resigned after school officials found she used her class computer to access a personal Web log chronicling sexual exploits and containing disparaging remarks about her students.

Becky Pelfrey, 38, had worked for the Mansfield district for three years and had spent seven years working for Arlington schools. Her log featured links to sexually-oriented Web sites and comments about her students, including a reference to them as “stinky kids.”

School district spokesman Terry Morawski said the district has not sought to file criminal charges and he is not certain that Pelfrey committed a crime. Officials were alerted to the situation by an anonymous letter dated Sept. 22.

Pelfrey’s husband, Bill Pelfrey, claimed the letter was written by his ex-wife and Becky Pelfrey’s former best friend, Tanya Hanna. The families are involved in a custody dispute. Hanna denied the claim.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/18/2005 at 02:17 PM   
Filed Under: • Education • Stoopid-People •  
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Best Headline Of The Day (so far)

OK, BMEWS members! Your challenge today is to read the news article below and leave a comment without any bad puns, stupid punch lines, underwear jokes or references to poot or doody. I realize it will be tough but that’s why we have challenges. You may begin in 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 ...

STINKY PANTS IN THE PAST
(SKY NEWS)

Stinky underwear could soon be consigned to the dustbin of history. Thanks to the invention of what manufacturers claim are the first “pong-proof pants”, all student digs and walkers’ rucksacks will stay smelling fresh.

Tiny fragments of silver woven into the North Face briefs help stop bacteria multiplying. This means they can be worn again and again without getting smelly. Even the oldest trick in the book for those concerned about causing a stench - turning underwear inside outside out before wearing it for a second day - is rendered unnecessary.

The company says the way the material is woven helps resist malodorous microbes and mildew. Keith Byrne, marketing manager for North Face, told the Daily Mail: “The fact that they resist odour build-up is sure to appeal to blokes everywhere who may be slightly challenged in the washing machine department.”

The pants are designed to help those trekking on expeditions in the mountains or jungles.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/18/2005 at 09:27 AM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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The Wookie Is Now American

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ....

‘Star Wars’ Actor Becomes U.S. Citizen
ARLINGTON, Texas (AP)

Best known as the furry Chewbacca in the “Star Wars” films, 7-foot-3 British actor Peter Mayhew is now a U.S. citizen. Mayhew softly recited the oath to become a naturalized American Monday, with his raised right hand trembling slightly. He was among more than 450 people from 56 countries who became naturalized Americans in a ceremony in Arlington.

“I’ll have a British passport, an American passport and a Wookiee passport,” joked the 60-year-old Mayhew, alluding to the interplanetary traveler from Kashyyyk he played. He first starred as Chewbacca in 1977’s “Star Wars.” Mayhew autographed dozens of fabric U.S. flags and citizenship packets before the ceremony and posed with immigration officials afterward.

The former English hospital worker said he decided to seek American citizenship when he got married “to a Texan lady.” Mayhew and his wife wed six years ago. His wife, Angelique, was beside him, with a drawing depicting Chewbacca, a background of the American flag and Union Jack and the words “Citizen Wookiee.” “Well it was a natural thing being married to a Texan,” said Mayhew, wearing black slacks and jacket. “I wanted to become an American because Texas is an integral part of America, its lifestyle.”

In most cases, an immigrant must be a legal permanent resident for five years before becoming a citizen. The wait is three years if the person marries a U.S. citizen. Candidates also must pass history, English and civics exams. “You have to do obviously some research, but the questions are easy enough if you think about them,” Mayhew said of his citizenship test, adding that he picked up much of his knowledge of American history and culture over more than a decade of living in the U.S.

Mayhew was born in Barnes, England, and now lives in Granbury, Texas, southwest of Fort Worth. He makes appearances at science fiction conventions around the country. His film career was launched in 1977 when he played the role of the Minotaur in “Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger.” He had been working as an orderly at London’s King’s College Hospital when he was featured in a newspaper article about men with large feet, which caught the eye of the movie’s producers.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/18/2005 at 07:17 AM   
Filed Under: • Patriotism •  
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Today’s Lesson

_{Mike Lester, Rome News-Tribune, Rome, GA}

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/18/2005 at 07:02 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Monday - October 17, 2005

You Go, Grrrrl!

Everyone here should know Danica Patrick, our favorite Indy race car driver. If you don’t know why we like her, just take a peek at the picture below (more pics of Danica are available here). Not only is she gorgeous but the lady don’t take no crap off of other drivers and she is one helluva race car driver to boot!

Jacques Lazier (that’s a suspiciously French-sounding name) found that out at the Indy 400 recently. Danica punched him out after the race for driving like a maniac and crashing into her. You GO, Grrrrrl!

Danica the Bully? Patrick Confronts Lazier After Crash!
Their day ended in a crash, but the action between Danica Patrick and Jaques Lazier didn’t end on the on the track.
INDIANAPOLIS (ABC NEWS)

Their Toyota Indy 400 ended in a crash Sunday, but the action between Danica Patrick and Jaques Lazier didn’t end on the track. “So you’re telling me that Jaques is saying he got beat up by a girl?” Patrick told the Star through a Rahal Letterman Racing spokesperson.

Dr. Kevin Scheid was driving the rescue vehicle and told the two drivers to settle down. But he would not settle the punch/poke debate. “I’m not going to break that tie,” he told the Star, laughing.

Patrick, who came away from the crash with a sore left elbow, and Lazier, who was not injured, came together and both spun and slammed hard into the wall. Each blamed the other for the crash that set up the dramatic finish.

“That’s not the way I wanted to finish my season,” Patrick said. “I was on my radio all day about him. He was all over the track even when he was running by himself. No wonder he jumps around from team to team. Needless to say, I’m pretty frustrated.”

Lazier said Patrick was the one at fault for continually pinching his car down in the corners. “She didn’t want to give me any room,” Lazier said.

Running a pink paint scheme in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness didn’t change Target/Ganassi Racing’s luck because Lazier’s crash was unofficially the 28th of the season for the team. Steve Chassey, an insurance executive who raced Indy cars in the 1970s and ‘80s, estimated Ganassi’s crash damage tab for the season is higher than for the entire Champ Car World Series field.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/17/2005 at 06:04 PM   
Filed Under: • Eye-Candy • Sports •  
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Big Brother Alert #438

Not only are Brits going to be required to carry a national ID card but they will be forced to pay £30 (approx. $52.63 US) for the bloody things. Onboard biometric chip will contain your fingerprints, retinal prints and a picture of your face .. at no extra charge. All your identity are belong to us ....

£30 Cost For ‘Stand Alone’ ID Cards
(THE EVENING STANDARD - UK)

People without passports will have to pay £30 for the controversial national ID card, Home Secretary Charles Clarke has announced. The “stand alone” card will be valid for 10 years. The Home Office’s current best guess for the combined passport and ID card remains at £93, but opponents of the scheme have predicted far higher costs.

Proposed cards will carry a microchip bearing “biometric” details of the holder’s fingerprints and face. It will be compulsory to hold a card. People renewing or applying for passports will have to pay the estimated £93, on top of existing passport prices, from 2008. The compulsory aspect of the scheme will be phased in later for those who do not hold a passport, possibly from as early as 2010.

Mr Clarke said: “Being able to prove who we are is a fundamental requirement in modern societies, for example when we travel, apply for a job, open a bank account or apply for benefits. “In future, the recording of biometrics such as fingerprints, iris patterns or facial image means that we will have a much stronger way of linking identity to the person. “A national ID card will be a robust, secure way to establish that identities are real, not fabricated.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/17/2005 at 02:28 PM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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Guess What?

Another storm is brewing in the Caribbean. Guess what that is causing ....?

Go ahead and guess ...?

Give up ...?

You won’t believe this ....

No one could have predicted it ....

SURPRISE ...!!

Oil Prices Rise as Another Storm Brews in Caribbean
NEW YORK (AP)

Crude-oil futures rose Monday on concerns that a tropical storm in the Caribbean could grow into a hurricane and threaten Gulf of Mexico oil facilities still recovering from previous hurricanes. Analysts said prices also received support from weekend unrest in Iran - OPEC’s second-largest producer of crude - and mixed signals on spare capacity from members of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries.

Estimates from OPEC of sagging world demand growth contained in its monthly oil market snapshot seemed to have little immediate effect.  Light, sweet crude for November delivery rose 97 cents to $63.60 a barrel in midday trading on the New York Mercantile Exchange. December Brent futures on the International Petroleum Exchange in London rose 93 cents to $60.41 a barrel. Products also jumped. Heating oil gained 2 cents to $1.97 a gallon on the Nymex, while gasoline rose by 2.14 cents to $1.77 per gallon. Natural gas rose 52 cents to $13.74 per 1,000 cubic feet.

Tropical Storm Wilma formed south of the Cayman Islands on Monday as the 21st named storm of the season, tying the 1933 record for the most storms in an Atlantic season, the National Hurricane Center in Miami said. At 11 a.m. EDT, Wilma had top sustained wind near 45 mph, up 5 mph from earlier in the day, the National Hurricane Center said. It was centered about 220 miles south-southeast of Grand Cayman. Long-term forecasts show the storm heading into the Gulf of Mexico by the weekend. Experts said high water temperatures and other conditions meant it could become a significant hurricane.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/17/2005 at 12:51 PM   
Filed Under: • Climate-Weather •  
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Suspicious Suicide?

Now that’s something you don’t see every day ... someone committing suicide by cutting their throat - sort of Seppuku, American style. At least that’s what the police think happened to Charles Rocket of Saturday Night Live fame ...

Ex-’SNL’ Comedian’s Death Ruled a Suicide
FARMINGTON, Conn (AP)

Actor and comedian Charles Rocket, who had roles in a variety of movies and TV series and briefly gained notoriety for uttering an obscenity on “Saturday Night Live,” committed suicide, the state medical examiner ruled. Rocket, 56, whose real name was Charles Claverie, was found dead in a field near his home in Canterbury on Oct 7. His throat had been cut, the medical examiner said.

“An investigation determined there was no criminal aspect to this case,” State Police Sgt. J. Paul Vance said Monday. Rocket was a cast member on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” during the season. The profanity incident happened during a spoof of the “Who Shot J.R.?” plot line on “Dallas,” which created a nationwide sensation at the time.

“Dallas” star Charlene Tilton was the “SNL” guest host that week. Rocket, who came on stage in a wheelchair, uttered the profanity after he was asked what it was like to have been shot. The incident sparked complaints from viewers and prompted NBC to issue an apology. Rocket was later dismissed along with other cast members and writers on the show amid weak ratings at the time.

He went on to appear in numerous TV shows, including “Moonlighting” and “Max Headroom,” and provided voices for cartoon series. His movie credits included “Earth Girls are Easy,” “Dumb and Dumber” and “Dances With Wolves,” according to the Internet Movie Database.

Before his time on “Saturday Night Live,” Rocket was an anchorman at television stations in Colorado and Rhode Island and played an influential role in the Providence, R.I., arts scene decades ago, friends said. “I just think he was one of the nicest and funniest people I ever met,” said Chip Young, who co-wrote a column on Rocket in a Providence paper. “He had so many friends and influenced so many people.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/17/2005 at 12:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood • Odd-Strange •  
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Not Again!

Mother nature isn’t through with us just yet. Tropical storm Wilma is forming in the Gulf and will reach hurricane strength by Wednesday as it takes aim at (guess where?) New Orleans. This ties the record for most hurricanes in a single season. Of course, you all realize it’s time to fire up the Democratic Party chorus and sing another verse of “It’s Bush’s Fault” ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/17/2005 at 06:48 AM   
Filed Under: • Climate-Weather •  
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Iraqi Election Update

It looks like the people of Iraq will approve their new constitution in spite of Sunni resistance. The final votes wont be completely tallied until Tuesday, at the earliest, but early results show the constitutional referendum passed by a wide margin in every province except the heavily Sunni region around Fallujah. Of course Reuters is unhappy about it as evidenced by the new story below. They just can’t help but call America’s strategy in Iraq “beleagured” and of course the latest body count has to be thrown in. No, no bias here ...

Iraq Voters Seen Approving Constitution
BAGHDAD (Reuters)

Iraqi voters have probably approved a new U.S.-backed constitution, overcoming fierce Sunni Arab opposition in a vote Washington hopes will boost its beleaguered strategy in Iraq, results showed on Sunday. Early counts from Saturday’s referendum indicated the vote split as expected along largely communal lines, reflecting the bitter ethnic and religious tensions that have cost thousands of Iraqi lives since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003.

“This is a very positive day for the Iraqi people and as well for world peace,” U.S. President George W. Bush told reporters in Washington. “Democracies are peaceful countries.” Tight security kept the polls mostly trouble-free although five U.S. soldiers and a Marine were killed in the Sunni west, the military said, raising the U.S. death toll in Iraq to 1,971.

Also, residents said heavy fighting broke out in Ramadi, a rebellious Sunni Arab city west of Baghdad that strongly opposed the constitution. They said U.S. aircraft bombed some areas and a doctor said 25 people had been killed. The U.S. military had no immediate information on operations in the area.

Despite high turnout in some Sunni Arab areas, partial counts suggested the charter’s opponents did not muster enough “No” votes to veto it. According to the referendum rules, a two-thirds “No” vote in three of Iraq’s 18 provinces would block the constitution even if most Iraqis backed it.

“All indications we are getting ... are encouraging and positive for a ‘Yes’ vote for this constitution,” Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari told CNN. “So my guess is, yes, it will be passed.”

Go read the rest here ... and try not to let Reuters’ disapointment bother you ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/17/2005 at 06:35 AM   
Filed Under: • Iraq •  
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Why Not?

_{Chuck Asay—The Colorado Springs Gazette}

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/17/2005 at 03:07 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Media-Bias •  
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