Thursday - November 25, 2004

Banned!

Isn’t it amazing that in today’s political climate, this document would be banned in our schools and if displayed in a public building would result in a lawsuit from the ACLU? Read it and weep. This is George Washington’s official proclamation of the Thanksgiving holiday ....

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:”

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

-- G. Washington

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/25/2004 at 06:55 AM   
Filed Under: • Patriotism •  
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Laughter Helps Digestion

After you’ve stuffed your collective faces, go ahead and read these.  It’s best in a room full of people.  Do them one by one, slowly, and as much as possible, use a Chinese accent.  Some are even funnier if you act them out:  #4, 5, 8 etc.

Laughter level guaranteed to be commensurate with quantity of after-dinner brandy, cognac or other adult libation ingested.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/25/2004 at 06:53 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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I’m Thankful ….

I give thanks that I don’t live in San Francisco. It seems that every day those freaks out there find a new and exciting excuse to demonstrate their lunacy.

LOS ANGELES – A California teacher has been barred by his school from giving students documents from American history that refer to God – including the Declaration of Independence.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/25/2004 at 06:40 AM   
Filed Under: • Education •  
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Snippets, Blips, Weird Stuff

How stupid can you be?  Well, a car highjacker was REALLY stupid when the car he attempted to steal had a manual transmission.  And he could not drive it.

Looks like I will have to swear off laser printers. It may sound conspiratorial but laser printers actually have little dots inbedded in them (like journalists?) to report back to the government what printer that document came from---and, of course, if they can do that they can find you.

Like to swim in the ocean?  Find a beach where there are lots of dolphins. That way, when a shark comes near, the dolphins will “circle the wagons” (so to speak) and protect your ass.

How many of you record programs on DVD or VHS or Tivo and then fast forward through objectionable bits or commercials?

Well, Congress has a bill that will make your act ILLEGAL!! Yep!  They will be able to arrest you for skipping commercials.  It’s not bad enough that shit permeates everything we seemingly see or hear (billboards, radio, TV, movie theaters, nespapers, magazines, DVDs, VHS tapes, etc.)

BUT THEY WANT TO INCARCERATE YOU FOR NOT WATCHING THEM!!

An excellent example of special interest group manipulation of our elected representatives.

I’d like to find out who the son of a bitch was that put that in there.  What the hell was he/she thinking?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/25/2004 at 06:39 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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A “REALLY” Big Reason to Give Thanks Today

Reports from medical doctors in the Mideast confirm that Yassir Arafat’s condition remains stable in death.

For that we are indeed grateful. 

Yep, and he STILL looks very surprised at that diagnosis, huh?

Now, let’s add Zarqawi, bin Laden, Hussein and a couple of others to that list and I’d be ecstatic.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/25/2004 at 06:34 AM   
Filed Under: • Terrorists •  
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Giving Thanks

There is much to give thanks for today in the US.

Let us know what YOU think are the primary reasons you are thankful.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/25/2004 at 06:30 AM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
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   Wednesday - November 24, 2004

Photo Of The Week

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em ....

For the record, this “Devil Dog” is from Charlie Company of the U.S. Marines First Division, Eighth regiment.

If anyone knows his name, PLEASE let me know. I wanna send that man two cartons of cigarettes, whatever brand he wants.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/24/2004 at 06:57 PM   
Filed Under: • Military •  
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Not Forgotten

As you pull your stuffed butt away from the dinner table tomorrow, content in the knowledge that you and your family are safe in the strongest country in the world, remember those who made it so. They are still on the front lines, scratching sand fleas out of their gear, fighting off fucktard assholes who would do all of us harm if they could .... and if these brave men and women weren’t there to protect us. They are performing a difficult and often thankless, underpaid task. They deserve at least a prayer from you and me tomorrow. A prayer of thanks for what they are doing in our behalf.

Remember them in your prayers tomorrow or I’ll slap each and every one of you upside your heads with a monster-size Cluebat. Got that? Good. Carry on!

CENTCOM BULLETIN PHILADELPHIA – Thanksgiving dinner won’t be coming out of a plastic pouch for Soldiers serving in theater. Close to 90,000 pounds of whole and boneless turkeys will be served to Soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Defense Supply Center Philadelphia, an inventory control point of the Defense Logistics Agency, is making sure the Soldiers get $3.8 million worth of traditional holiday meals. The Thanksgiving trimmings sent to theater also include 121,019 pounds of ham; 70,231 pounds of beef; and 42,630 pounds of shrimp – not to mention 75,914 pounds of stuffing; 9,480 cans of cranberry sauce; 9,426 cans of mashed potatoes; 10,470 cans of sweet potatoes and 2,606 cases of corn on the cob. For dessert, 63,082 whole pies.

For More Bulletins From CENTCOM Click Here.

If you’re really feeling thankful, look on our right sidebar for the link to e-mail our troops. Send one of them a thank you e-mail. In the coming weeks, VIlmar and I will be gearing up to coordinate a holiday package delivery service to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Stay tuned for the announcement ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/24/2004 at 06:39 PM   
Filed Under: • Military •  
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How To Piss Off Liberals

First, you win the Presidential elections.  That has them seeking counseling for depression.

Then you win 5 new seats in the Senate and at least 4 more in House.  This has them jumping off tall buildings and quitting their jobs in frustration.

Then you REALLY piss ‘em off by taking a liberal state, Washington----by 42 votes!

They gotta be fit to be tied.  Imagine the recriminations going on right now:  if we had only knocked on 42 more doors......... if we had only made more phone calls............... if we had only put up more signs.......................

Well, woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Tough shit!

LOSERS!!!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/24/2004 at 05:14 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Happy Thanksgiving!

President George W. Bush would like to send all the Kerry supporters (and John F’ing Kerry himself) a special Thanksgiving message ....

(-- thanks to Don R.)

GET ME OUT OF HERE ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/24/2004 at 01:25 PM   
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Almost.  Almost.

Just read a review of the movie: “Aviator” about the life of Howard Hughes.

Supposedly a very good movie.

It features Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard.

Now, Leonardo is not on my “favorite stars” list and I tend to avoid his movies.  But based on what I read I figured I’d give this a shot.

Then I realized there are WAY TOO MANY moonbats in this movie who are on my shitlist.

Among them:  Alan Alda and Alec Baldwin.

‘Nuff said!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/24/2004 at 10:31 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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I Am Concerned

We’ve all heard about the possible Attorney General nominee, Alberto Gonzalez, right?  Republican lawmakers are giddy over the possibility of his confirmation.

Not so fast there, Bucko!

Mr. Gonzalez:

“got the backing of a group that promotes driver’s licenses for illegal aliens, no immigration law enforcement by local and state police and amnesty programs broader than the administration’s proposal.”

The group’s name?  The National Council of La Raza!

YAY!  Just what we need!  Getting support from La Raza is like Trent Lott getting the full and open support of the KKK.  They are a racist organization hellbent on secession efforts on behalf of New Mexico, California, Arizona and Texas.  They want those state to go back to Mexico.

But that’s not all.  It turns out Mr. Gonzalez, himself, is a card carrying member of the group.

How soon after his nomination will we find illegals getting the “rights” to drivers’ licenses, education, health care, retirement?  All on the backs of legal immigrants and US citizens?

Yep, that’s real special alright!

So special I am buying more ammo.  (just in case, you know!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/24/2004 at 07:46 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Political Correctness Gone Amuck

If you go to Hungary for a visit DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT tell any blond jokes!!!

Hungarian Parliament is set to pass a bill banning these jokes as discriminatory.

What next, eh?  Polish jokes?  Mexican jokes? American jokes?  Priest jokes?  Plumber or milkman jokes?

Hell, I may get sued for telling chocolate jokes!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/24/2004 at 07:44 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Good News For The Ladies!

OK, ladies, here’s all the reason you need to eat your fill of chocolate---just go around persistently coughing. This will give you the excuse you need/want to eat your fill.

When you begin coughing again, reach for the Snickers bar.  Then the M&Ms.  Then the Toblerone.  Wash it all down with Swiss Miss.

Don’t blame me if your men leave you because you’ve ballooned to 700 pounds, though!

BWAH HA HA HA!!

(sorry, I don’t know of any guys that are as nutty for chocolate as ladies I know!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/24/2004 at 07:41 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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