Wednesday - September 29, 2004

RatherGate, Part Duh!

CBS News and Dan Rather just aren’t satisfied having put their foot in their mouth. Now, they want to insert the other foot and most of both legs. Their latest muckadoo occurred on last night’s Evening News broadcast. They broadcast a story trying to scare everyone into believing there is a secret plan to re-institute the draft. What did they base the story on? An e-mail they received that began with this text ....

From: “(name removed for privacy)@usdoj.gov”
Subject: Military Draft expected to start July 15, 2005
Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004

Someone I know forwarded this to me, it was forwarded to them from someone they know who has a friend that works in the dept of defense, I thought that you all would appreciate knowing about this also ..

Memo to Dan Ra^ther: ROFLMAO!

Go read the rest at RatherBised.Com. They’ve been doing a smash-up job of covering the latest hijinks at See-BS.

Puh-leeze! This is ridiculous. Believe it or not, that is the actual text above from the e-mail that CBS ACTUALLY SHOWED on TV as corroborating their story. Raise your hands if you read the above and thought, “Gee! This sounds legitimate”. That’s what I thought. I think Dan Ra^ther needs to quietly go into retirement before he gets into real trouble and ends up in jail for slander and fraud.

Update: RatherBiased.com’s servers are indeed down. We hope they’ll be back up later. It has to be a Vast Left Wing Conspiracy!

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/29/2004 at 08:41 AM   
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Fashion Sense For Seniors

Many of us (those over 40, WAY over 40 or hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.

We’re unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4.. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo’s and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10.Bikinis and liver spots
11.Short shorts and varicose veins
12.Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least . . .  my personal favorite:

13. Thongs and Depends

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.

(-- thanks to Don R.)

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/29/2004 at 08:31 AM   
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NEWSFLASH:  Vilmar Flip-Flops!! Encourages Conservatives To Do So!

Yes, ladies and gents, I am a self-admitted flip-flopper!  I used to be against abortion but want to remind you that since late June I advocated we all come out in favor of it. 

Based on new evidence I strongly urge those of you with character and who try hard to be moral and ethical in their behavior and would never engage in this practice to ENERGETICALLY and FERVENTLY encourage our liberal brethren that the right to do so is theirs.  Hell, I’ll go so far as to say we should even fund their abortions.

Why?

Because I’m a sick bastard?  Yeah, OK! But...........................there’s one more reason:  the news keeps getting better and better!

If you check out this latest poll by Washington Post, you really won’t be able to tell much.  But there’s a little box to the right where you can sort results.  See it?  Click on “age”

Now, read the numbers very carefully about what age group ranks at the top for supporting Bush.  Is it the 61+ group?  NO!  the 31-44 group?  NO!  It’s the 18-30 group.

You may be wondering how I can make that leap of logic between this group’s support of Bush and abortion.  Right?

Now go read that same age group’s support for Fuckface.  Yep!  It’s the LOWEST among ALL age groups for Dummycraps.

Conclusion:  Dummycraps are aborting themselves into oblivion.  The fewer kids they have, the fewer young minds they can corrupt with their socialist, pantyy-waisted, tree-hugging, “can’t we all love one another” bullshit.

Hey, even Ellen Goodman is concerned. 

See?  Now ain’t that good news?  And damned good reason to be proud of being called a flip-flopper?  BWAH HA HA HA!

Hell, I’ll even make it easy by posting an extract of the chart for you:

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 09/29/2004 at 07:57 AM   
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The Darwin Tales

From the “One Beer Short Of A Six-Pack” pile:

Scene:  patient can’t get signed up with a dentist on England’s WONDERFUL socialized medicine system.
Result: DIY dentistry (OUCH!!!)
Corrective Action by UK medical community:  None!  (but you expected that, right?)

While we’re on the subject of socialized medicine, read this and then we can move on to the other Darwin tale.

Iron is your friend and I guess iron-y is also relevant as it relates to this story where a critic of the system did not fare well.  (Hmmmm, I guess she did, after all bid a “farewell” to life as she knew it.)

She criticized the UK government’s medical care and was killed by a fellow doctor who administered her a lethal dose of iron.  They say accidentally---yeah, right!

Apparently the attending physician did not read label directions resulting in her skin turning brown, her liver getting an overdoes of iron, her having a heart attack, then contracted deep vein thrombosis in both legs, eventually developing a chest infection and then contracting E.coli. Seven weeks after it all began she had a second heart attack and died.

Damn!  The lesson learned here is to not fuck with socialized medicine doctors in the UK!!!  Pissing them off is like signing up for your own personal Spanish Inquisition.

We now return you to the Darwin Tales.

Again, from England!  Imagine that!  Three stories.  I am not sure why they favor so much today but maybe they are undergoing a moonbat attack?

Anyway, this kid goes surfing.  Safe enough, right?  Not if you do it on a train.

(Kids:  don’t try this at home!)

No word on how he fared dealing with the medical system.  For all I know we’ll read about him having died of some bacterial infection resulting from the surgery.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 09/29/2004 at 06:20 AM   
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Teresa’s 5 Point Plan For World Peace

This is how Teresa Heinz Kerry says we can fight terrorism:

“The way we live in peace in a family, in a marriage, in the world, is not by threatening people, is not by showing off your muscles. It’s by listening, by giving a hand sometimes, by being intelligent, by being open and by setting high standards.”

Nice 5 point plan, eh?

Why is it that I have visions of her walking up to Osama bin Laden and, trying to be intelligent and setting high standards, she finds her head handed to her on a platter courtesy of a couple of sword wielding terrroists?

However, I can’t say that’s NOT an unpleasant picture.

Is this what 45% plus of American voters want to see in the White House?  A President and First Lady who place yak-yak-yak ahead of firm resolve and action?  Are these voters so blinded by hatred they actually think you can TALK terrorsits into stopping what they are doing? Are people so stupid they do not understand that terrorists do NOT want land; they do NOT want money: they do NOT want material possessions.  What they DO want is for everyone to convert to Islam.  Why can’t these asshat liberal dumbfucks understand that?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 09/29/2004 at 06:04 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Late Night Hump Day Humor

From Leno:

--First Kerry gets the Botox. Now he’s got the rich tan. Apparently the senator’s confused. The Miss America Pageant was last week. This is the presidential debates. In fact it was reported today Kerry got a bikini wax.

--Are you all ready for the presidential debate this Thursday? It’s kinda like “The Apprentice”, except we get to fire somebody.

--Debates experts say President Bush could win if he doesn’t get off message. But John Kerry could win if he gets a message.

--I tell you, Bush working very hard getting prepared for these debates. He got one of those hooked on phonics tapes.

--Today there was a 6.0 earthquake in Central California. You know the two best places to be during an earthquake… either under a doorway or at Hooters.

--In the literary word - a previously unknown story by Ernest Hemmingway has surfaced. The source is still unknown, but Dan Rather says it proves Bush was awol.

--"Forbes” magazine has released its latest list of the richest 400 Americans. The richest woman on the list is Alice Walton, she’s worth 18 billion dollars. Or as John Kerry calls her – the one who got away.

--According to scientific research, dogs have the ability to smell cancer in people. That means if a dog is sniffing you, it either likes you or you’re going to die.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 09/29/2004 at 06:02 AM   
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Successful Gene Manipulation

In solving the great Agent-Orange Kerry mystery and thanks to Allan’s brilliant discovery, geneticists at the BMEWS laboratory have been working hard to come up with a perfect melding of the two life forms.

Here’s what they got:

(thanks to chronicallybiased.com.  Please visit their site as they are set up to exposing bias at the Houston Chronicle. This picture leads today’s entries.)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 09/29/2004 at 05:48 AM   
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Orange Kerry Mystery Solved!

There has been much recent speculation in the news and around the blogosphere as to what exactly happend to John Kerry in recent days to make him turn orange. Some say it is a new terror alert system. Some say it is a Canadian tanning pill. Some say it’s just a bad case of too much BS causing the Senator’s color change. Some even believe Kerry is part chameleon and is only adapting to the environment “du jour”. We think that last theory has some merit and so we did a little investigative work and have come up with the answer.

Click on the picture of “Agent Orange” below for the answer ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/29/2004 at 04:40 AM   
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Important Message For Kids

When your teacher tells you to bring things from home for “Show And Tell Day”, don’t bring mom’s marijuana. Mommy will be real upset, the police will grill you but you might get an “A” from your teacher if she gets to keep the evidence. Repeat after me, kids .... B-U-M-M-E-R. Now, go back to the playground and hope mommy calms down by the time you get home. That is all.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/29/2004 at 03:29 AM   
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

“Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.”
-- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

1965 - Hanoi Announces That Downed Pilots Will Be Treated As War Criminals
Hanoi publishes the text of a letter it has written to the Red Cross claiming that since there is no formal state of war, U.S. pilots shot down over the North will not receive the rights of prisoners of war (POWs) and will be treated as war criminals. The U.S. State Department protested, but this had no impact on the way the American POWs were treated and most suffered extreme torture and other maltreatment while in captivity. The first pilot captured by the North Vietnamese was Navy Lieutenant Everett Alvarez, who was shot down on August 5, 1964. The American POW held longest was Army Special Forces Captain Floyd James Thompson, who had been captured in the South on March 26, 1964. American POWs were held in 11 different prisons in North Vietnam and their treatment by the North Vietnamese was characterized by isolation, torture, and psychological abuse. The exact number of POWs held by the North Vietnamese during the war remains a debatable issue, but the POWs themselves have accounted for at least 766 verified captives at one point. Under the provisions of the Paris Peace Accords, the North Vietnamese released 565 American military and 26 civilian POWs in February and March 1973, but there were still more than 2,500 men listed as Missing in Action (MIA).

1399 - King Richard II became the first English monarch to abdicate his throne.

1829 - Sir Robert Peel’s police force, the “bobbies,” began operations at Scotland Yard.

1895 - French chemist Louis Pasteur died.

1978 - John Paul I died one month after becoming pope.

1982 - Seven people died after taking Extra-Strength Tylenol capsules laced with cyanide. This led to the use of safety seals on most consumer products.

Lord Horatio Nelson, Viscount, (1758–1805), British admiral. The most famous of Britain’s naval heroes.
Enrico Fermi, (1901–54), American physicist
Gene Autry, (1907-1998), Singer and actor best known as the “Singing Cowboy.”
Lech Walesa, (1943- ) Polish labor leader

_{Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - InfoPlease.}

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/29/2004 at 03:09 AM   
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   Tuesday - September 28, 2004

Hostage Situation - Chinese Style

You’ve got to see these pictures to believe it. Chinese man takes a young boy hostage and then ....

The Chinese demonstrate how to handle a hostage crisis ....

(--thanks to Don R.)

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/28/2004 at 05:57 PM   
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France Declared Insane

OK. Get out the strait jacket. No, not that small one. The REALLY big one over there. OK, you guys grab France by the legs and feet and I’ll slap this strait jacket on it. Then it’s into the padded cell for good .... Ready 1-2-3 .... gaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

What’s this all about? Well, I once thought the surrender monkeys could stoop no lower and could exhibit no stupider behavior after all the ridiculous, back-stabbing, whining we’ve gotten from them but then again they have once again managed to prove just how worthless they are.  How, you ask? Well, it’s called “PinkTV”. Read on ....

PARIS (AP) — The transgender sportscaster wears a miniskirt, the porn is gay, lesbian and bisexual, and Wonder Woman will be on every night at seven.

France’s first gay television channel, PinkTV, is an eye-opener. And that’s the point. Pink’s founders believe there’s a ready audience for the channel, and not just among France’s estimated 3.5 million gays.

Pink’s “a giant leap for television, a small step in high heels,” said presenter Eric Gueho in a promotional clip shown at the channel’s unveiling Tuesday, which was feted with pink champagne.

“Gays are speaking to the French. But not all French speak to gays. But it will come.”

You tell me. Is this a classic example of Barking Moonbat behavior or not? There needs to be a special prize when an entire country goes insane.

How many of you saw the film “Deliverance” and remember the gross scene when the redneck hill people tried to rape Ned beatty? Remember what they told him? They said, “C’mon boy! Squeel like a pig!”. Do you know what a pig squeeling sounds like? He goes, “Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui! Oui!”. Coincidence? I think not.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/28/2004 at 02:44 PM   
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Not Enough Explosives

A 5.9 magnitude earthquake has struck California halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco, right along the San Andreas Fault - 10 strong 5.0 sftershocks followed the initial quake.

Damn!

I bet you folks thought I was kidding about dropping tons of C4 in the fault to get rid of the Moonbats in California.

Next time, I’ll use more explosives. 

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/28/2004 at 12:48 PM   
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Kerry/Edwards Stumped By Bush Supporter

Blogs For Bush has an excellent post up right now about a recent Kerry/Edwards rally where a friend of Matt Margolis managed to sneak past the Kerry Brown Shirts at the front door by confusing them with logic and then manages to totally confuse Edwards when he met him at a handshaking session after the propaganda speech was given to the party faithful (Damn! I almost sound like I’m describing a rally at a German beer hall in 1932!). All this Bushie did was ask Edwards a simple question about tort reform and Edwards was left speechless. Mheh-heh-heh ....

On top of everything else, now Kerry is changing colors like the chameleon he really is. Weird! Really weird!

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/28/2004 at 11:11 AM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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