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calendar   Saturday - July 24, 2004

This Just In!

Berger Returns U.S. Constitution to Archives

(2004-07-24) -- Former Clinton national security advisor Samuel R. "Sandy"Berger today returned the orginal of the U.S. Constitution to the National Archives.

"It was an honest mistake," said Mr. Berger, who until this morning was an advisor to Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry.

"I accidentally wrapped the Constitution around my left leg and mistakenly secured it with rubber bands."

A spokesman for the National Archives said he was pleased to have the Constitution back.

"Until Mr. Berger returned it," said the source, "our prime suspects were all in the federal judiciary."
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/24/2004 at 06:48 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Daily Dose

Quote of the Day

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...holy shit...what a ride!" anonymous


On This Day in History

1673 Edmund Halley enters Queen's College, Oxford, as an undergraduate
1870 1st trans-US rail service begins
1969 Muhammad Ali is convicted for refusing induction in US Army on appeal
1987 IBM-PC DOS Version 3.3 (updated) released

1903 First Ford Model A Goes Home
The first two-cylinder Ford Model A was delivered to its owner, Dr. Ernst Pfenning of Chicago, on this day in 1903. The Model A was the result of a partnership between Henry Ford and Detroit coal merchant Alexander Malcomson. Ford's company grew quickly, but it wasn't until the release of the Model T that Ford took the position of our nation's largest carmaker. The Model T kept Ford number one in the industry until production was stopped in 1927, and Ford relinquished its place to Chevrolet.
1901 O. Henry is released from prison
William Sydney Porter, otherwise known as O. Henry, is released from prison on this day, after serving three years in jail for embezzlement from a bank in Austin, Texas.
To escape imprisonment, Porter had fled the authorities and hidden in Honduras, but returned when his wife, still in the U.S., was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He went to jail and began writing stories to support his young daughter while he was in prison.
After his release, Porter moved to New York and worked for New York World, writing one short story a week from 1903 to 1906. In 1904, his first story collection, Cabbages and Kings, was published. His second, The Four Million (1906), contained one of his most beloved stories, The Gift of the Magi, about a poor couple who each sacrifice their most valuable possession to buy a gift for the other.
He specialized in stories about everyday people, often ending with an unexpected twist. Despite the enormous popularity of the nearly 300 stories he published, he led a difficult life, struggling with financial problems and alcoholism until his death in 1910



Today's Birthdays

1783 Simon Bolivar freed 6 Latin American republics from Spanish rule
1802 Alexandre Dumas France, author (3 Musketeers)
1898 Amelia Earhart into the wild blue yonder

1951 Lynda Carter (actress)
1970 Jennifer Lopez (singer, actress)



Thanks to The Quotations Page Famous Birthdays Snopes
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/24/2004 at 06:37 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Friday - July 23, 2004

Revisiting the “Being Fat Is Now A Disease” Story Again

I know, I just can't let it go, can I?

Except this time, check out the angle Jacob Sullum is taking: if people give up personal responsibility in their eating and exercise habits expecting the government to take care of them. they should also expect to happen to them what is happening to smokers.

I can see it now.


The scene: a restaurant
Enter: Mr. and Mrs. Tub o' Lard

Maitre D' brings in reinforced chairs and passes out menus

Mr. o' Lard orders some white wine, the Mrs. orders a whiskey sour

Waiter: I'm sorry but these chairs automatically calculated your weight and according to the Surgeon General you are at risk for continued health problems so we can not sell you alcohol.

Mr. o' Lard: (furious) How dare you? Bring us Cokes!

Waiter (consulting computer printout from chair): So sorry but the sugar and caffeine is not good for you in your present condition. May I recommend water? It is, after all, better for you and we value your patronage and would like to see you return rather than die.

Mr. o' Lard: OK. We'll order now. Bring us a chicken parmiagana for me and a sea food platter for my wife. Plus 2 baked potatoes and a side order of soup and salad plus Texas toast.

Waiter (again consulting printout): How about a nice salad with balsamic vinegar dressing and some croutons instead, sir. I'm just a poor waiter earning minimum wage and I'm tired of having to pay for your medical bills incurred because you are such a glutton.

Mr. o' Lard: How dare you! I demand to see the manager!

Manager appears: I'm sorry sir but our waiter is right. The federal government recently mandated that no one who exceeds what the surgeon general recommended is a proper weight /height ratio may no longer be served anything but 5 oz. salads with 14 grams of croutons per meal. It's in your best interests, after all. Plus it keeps the lawyers off our back.

Mr. and Mrs. o' Lard storm off muttering under their breath something about hiring a lawyer and that it's their constitutional right to eat what they want.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/23/2004 at 04:06 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Finished The Labor Of Love

Here comes a shameless plug: I just finished updating my personal website and sure would appreciate you taking the time to have a look around.

It is my labor of love compiled over a 5 year period of adventures and travels.

If you enjoy bicycling, then check out the many pages of information on cycling across the US and down the Pacific coast. You'll find journals, pictures, gear lists, tips, tricks, and tons of other info.

If you are interested in going to Antarctica for an adventure you'll never forget and if you'd like to get a job there, check those pages out, too.

Lastly, I've put up some pages about my adventures in Australia, Fiji, and New Zealand.

When wandering around I sure would appreciate you letting me know if any pages do not load correctly or have bad links. I've tried to keep them small in size so they load fast and none have pictures imbedded in them for that reason. Most every page has an email link to facilitate that effort.

Be forewarned---the site is huge. There are literally hundreds of journal pages to read and I hope you find them interesting.

Here's the link again.

Update From Allan: I'm just cleaning up a few loose ends before heading out of town for the next few weeks. I've added a link to Vilmar's personal web site on the sidebar in the Visitor Education Center. You really should give Vilmar's site a look-see. The pictures and diary of a man well-travelled around the world. I first saw Vilmar's web site about four or five years ago (time flies) and was highly impressed with the man and his adventures. I highly recommend it.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/23/2004 at 11:01 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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What Passes for Education

Imagine this: you send your little 15 year old girl-child to school. While there, she attends a sex ed class where the teacher passes out flavored condoms and asks her to taste them. She flinches. The teacher says,
"Come on, sweetie, have a little fun."

When you complain and send a letter to the school, here's what the deputy director for the public-health division of the state Health Department tells you,
"There was no wrongdoing. I have no more comment. ... (a parent) may or may not agree with that, but that's (their) prerogative. What (the teacher) does, basically, in his classes, depending on the age appropriateness of the class, is to try to get them ... used to condoms and kind of destigmatize them."

Tell me, exactly how pissed off would you be right about now?

Well, this is happening in New Mexico.

So what's next? Bringing sheep into the room in an effort to destigmatize bestiality? How about bringing in 8 year old girls to destigmatize pedophilia? Maybe have Boy George and Barney Frank sodomize Al Franken and Michael Moore to destigmatize them about homosexual behavior?

Believe it or not when a student expressed disgust at homosexuality the teacher said:
"Never say never, because you never know. Someday you might like it that way."

Just what planet do these asshats come from?
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/23/2004 at 09:25 AM   
Filed Under: • Education •  
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Race…..and Global Warming

This one takes the cake. It's not bad enough that Whites are constantly accused of oppressing Blacks, disenfranchising them from the voting process, and responsible for their poverty and drug habits. But now we are responsible for the global warming that kills more Blacks than Whites?!?!?!?! WTF,O?

Let's see....could it be that if it weren't for the white European we'd still be living in mud huts chasing gazelle with wooden spears? (and don't even think about starting any shit with me concerning this. It was the Europeans who, when they went to the far east, near east, mid east, Africa, South America, North America, Russia, etc who brought with them the technology responsible for what we have today. Virtually all those places were basically in the dark ages, their inhabitants living in grass huts, tepees, trees, eating nuts and berries until the mid 15th century when we went tromping around with armor, guns, and metallurgical know how. Everyone else was still using bows and arrows, spears, and slingshots.)

Turns out the same bitch, (Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnson, a Dummycrap, of course) who petitioned the UN to monitor our 2004 elections is at the forefront of race baiting this issue.

Tell me how they got this number:
"African-American households emit 20 percent less carbon dioxide than white households."

HUH?!?! How the hell do you measure a household's CO2 emissions? What, they don't breath as much? Fewer cars? How the FUCK did they come up with that number and why is no one questioning their scientific conclusions or methodology of data collection?

They also said that:
blacks are more likely to die during extreme heat events.

How the hell can that be? After all, their descendants DID come from the heart of hottest Africa didn't they? And didn't Dusty Baker make some sort of comment about this a year or two ago? A comment to the effect that heat does not bother Black men because they are more used to it? Kinda explains why the percentage of Blacks in Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wyoming, Alaska, etc. is so low, eh?

Read this. Have a laugh. Then go shoot an enviro-weenie.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/23/2004 at 07:07 AM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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Is It Really Entertainment Anymore?

Might as well start the day off with a rant.

Here's something that pushes me to the edge: it's bad enough we have assholes like Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Barbra Streisand, et. al. out there criticizing President Bush but recently we've also seen scumbags like Elton John (who's not even a US citizen yet lives here) criticize our government, Whoopi Goldberg use extremely foul language to describe the President, and Linda Ronstadt praising Michael Moore.

If that were not enough, now we not only have Howard Stern vowing to dedicate his efforts to defeat Bush but we also have Bonnie Raitt doing the same---in a foreign country.

Where are the snipers when you need them?


But it gets worse. I just read that Michael Moore will be on stage singing with Linda "Bitchface" Ronstandt!!! I guess the new management of the hotel figures the New York Times was right when it editorialized that the Aladdin had no right to kick that bitch out and that the Aladdin SHOULD give her a political forum.

WHAT THE F...???????

When I go to a concert I go to listen to music, not to hear some asshole spout off political nonsense from the mouths of illiterati. But hey, The NY Times defends Rondstadt but never DID defend Dr. Laura for doing basically the same thing through her radio show. Goes to show you the Orwellian mindset of the liberals in this country: everyone has rights except liberal "rights" are more important than conservative rights.

Oh, and because of this, I will no longer be staying at the Aladdin when I visit Vegas in November. Stupid spineless bastards. It is time to seriously boycott all these moonbat assclowns.

For more background, read what Don Feder has to say about all these anti-American, communist, leftist, Hollyweirdo moonbats. He keeps going about Ozzy, Ian Anderson, The Ditzy Shits, Eddie Vedder, etc.

One good thing came out of all this, though: I now have 4 more names for my shit list!

Maybe it is time to become an isolationist, start a ranch in some hill country somewhere, arm myself to the teeth and shoot to kill any bastard that trespasses my property.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/23/2004 at 07:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Daily Dose

Quote of the Day

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it. Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)


On This Day in History

636 Arabs gain control of most of Palestine from the Byzantine Empire
1253 Jews are expelled from Vienne France by order of Pope Innocent III
1298 Jews are massacred at Wurzburg Germany
1904 Ice cream cone created by Charles E Menches during La Purchase Expo
1925 NY Yankee Lou Gehrig hits his 1st of 23 career grand slammers
1931 France announces they can't afford to send a team to 1932 LA olympics
1967 Race riots claiming 43 erupts in Detroit
1968 PLO's 1st hijacking of an El Al plane
1972 Eddy Merckx (Belgium) wins his 4th consecutive Tour de France
1977 Washington jury convicts 12 Hanafi Moslems on hostage charges
1980 Billy Carter admits to being paid by Libya
1980 Soyuz 37 ferries 2 cosmonauts (1 Vietnamese) to Salyut 6

1937 Orson Welles' first radio drama airs
Les Miserables, the first radio drama produced by Orson Welles and the fledgling Mercury Theater, debuts on this day. The show ran for half an hour on Fridays from July until September of that year. A year later, the theater group introduced a regular show, Mercury Theater on the Air, a dramatic anthology featuring Orson Welles and John Houseman. Welles' radio efforts established his reputation as a "boy wonder" well before the release of his groundbreaking film Citizen Kane in 1941.


Today's Birthdays

1973 Monica Lewinsky (former white house intern)
1965 Slash (guitarist)
1936 Don Drysdale (baseballer)
1925 Gloria De Haven (actress)
1920 Amalia Rodrigues (Portuguese singer)


Thanks to The Quotations Page Famous Birthdays Snopes
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/23/2004 at 06:30 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - July 22, 2004

A Bargain!!!!!

OK, time for a practical shopping tip (but it will entail doing a little math.)

We all know that Bill Clinton's new book is out, right?



---957 pages for $21.00 = $0.0219 per page.


However, being a thrifty sort of fellow, I did some shopping around and located a better buy.



---800 sheets for $2.09 = $0.0026 per sheet.

Almost 8 1/2 sheets of Charmin for the cost of one page of Clinton's book............and they serve the same purpose!!

(With a tip o' the hat to Joanny!)
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/22/2004 at 05:32 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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For girly men?

Thanks to Neal Boortz, I give you this. Please click on the link and see why owning a Dodge is NOT manly. Maybe they are for girly-men instead?

What a hoot!!!!!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/22/2004 at 05:20 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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While We’re on the Subject of Health Care

I got this from The Best of the Web a couple of days ago.

It is about obesity in the US.

A Whale of a Problem

Obesity is a big problem, we tellya. A big problem. (How big is it?)

It's so big, it has smaller big problems in orbit around it!

Agence France-Presse reports that obesity in the U.S. is an "epidemic." It's "endemic" in Bulgaria (Sofia News Agency) and "pandemic" in Jamaica, where it's known as "globesity" (Jamaica Observer).

How does this sickness spread? Through television (London Daily Telegraph) and tap water (Sunday Mercury, Birmingham, England). Apparently not, however, through food. Britain's Press Association reports Tony Blair's government may fight childhood obesity by encouraging kids to eat more: The free school lunch scheme should be extended to include breakfast and more pupils should be offered free fruit to combat "a mass outbreak of obesity," the Government was urged today.

You know, we're feeling lazy today. We don't want to work; we'd rather just plop down on the couch and "recline there, watching TV, . . . with, say, a bag of Doritos or a large pizza" (Washington Post magazine).

Well, boy do we feel empowered. Now that obesity is a disease, we don't have to work. All we have to do is call in fat!

So...........now that obesity is declared a "disease" (Jesus, what a bunch of shit!) it looks like Mr. and Mrs. Taxpayer will start paying for Jenny Craig, Atkins and a host of other diet plans to help the fatsoes in this country who are so lazy they can't practice moderation and fail to exercise, control what they eat, how much they eat, and when they eat. Now these fat bastards can sit their fat asses on their barco-loungers, surf their 500 channels of cable TV, eat cheetos, snarf down twinkies, inhale bags of potato chips and guzzle beer to their hearts' content confident that Uncle Sam will now pay for them to lose weight.

And if that fails, they rest comfortably knowing the taxpayer will get stuck with the bill for stapling the stomachs of these fat fucks who fail to exercise self control.

And you think health care is expensive now? Just wait til Jack Sprat and his fat wife start getting tummy tucks.

For more about this, read Jane Chastain's thoughts on where we are headed. How about this: ugliness will be a disease next. And then we can go crying to our doctors to make us pretty. What the hell? Why not? Tax the fuck out of the rich and we'll have a bunch of pretty, but poor, morons running around. Kinda re-defines that song, "Live fast, die young, look pretty." Except it will be on your dime.

Are you as incredulous about this as I am? The fact that we take a program like Medicare, already programmed to go bust in the near future and burden it with even more requirements to take care of the stupid people who refuse to take responsibility for their own health? Just what will we end up with? Nope, sorry, the answer is NOT a failed program. That's right! Government won't allow that to happen. So for all of you still working, busting your asses to pay the mortgage, put food on the table, keeping your car running, and raising your kids---just go ahead, bend over and spread 'em cuz you're gonna take it again and this time Uncle Sam ain't usin' the vaseline!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/22/2004 at 05:07 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Vilmar Talks Health Care

Imagine the following: you read this article and, God forbid, sometime in the future you are injured. Seriously injured. You get taken to the emergency room, a place full of screaming babies, drunks, bums, crack addicts, and assorted criminals needing attention before being taken to jail. In this life threatening situation you get cared for first, of course. So you're lying there on a gurney, remembering what you read today and you ask yourself: do you want a doctor operating on you who needs to have a quiet and distraction free setting in order to operate? Will you get those assurances as you lay there?

Can we further assume you will not mind that a 1 hour surgical procedure may take this doctor 5 hours? Will the doctor have to start all over again if he's distracted? Will he use the right instruments? Operate on the proper limb or organ? Will you die on the table from shock at being open so long?

That's exactly what you may face if these 4 fucktards from California win a lawsuit filed on their behalf by equally fucktarded bottom feeding scum sucking lawyer assholes suing the organization that administers the medical school admission tests.

"Sue for what," you ask?

How about because,
"they were denied extra time to take the exam in violation of California's disability laws."

Now don't that beat all? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot (and this should really make your "feel good" meter peg out): one of these nitwits who is suing suffers from dyslexia and attention deficit disorder! Oh yeah! Way to make ME feel better about the next time I go to a doctor.

Just WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with these lawyers who even TOOK this lawsuit? Can they be identified and possibly summarily shot for being stupid and greedy? Have they no concept of what danger they are subjecting future patients? If they win will hospitals and clinics now have to accommodate and place doctors based on their ability to handle noise, outside interference, stress, etc.?

Maybe it is time to pass a law saying patients have the right to demand all data from their doctors relative to class standing or whether or not the doctor needed "assistance" like extended testing time and special classroom settings relative to ANY of his tests. We would also need the right to demand actual doctor's health records to include any and all claims to disability, granted or not plus an appraisal from three outside doctors attesting to his being free from any disorder such as dyslexia, ADD, etc.

Will we get to that point? Yep! As soon as these moonbats win their lawsuit and after the first hundred or so patients die.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/22/2004 at 09:28 AM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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Voting for a One Issue Candidate?

This guy may be a keeper here in Florida and the candidate to vote for in the senatorial primaries next month.

Of course, for me to do so would mean I would have to violate one of my principles when it comes to politicians: that we should not be a single issue voter.

You know what I mean, right? You've run across the type. The asshat who says he won't for so and so because that politician is against abortion or does not support the rights of chickens to have air conditioning prior to execution, or some such nonsense.

Well, I've come as close as I can to becoming one of those voters with Larry Klayman, the founder of Judicial Watch. He has launched a nationwide campaign to get the UN out of the United States.

BRAVO!!!!

If you agree, read the article and don't forget to visit his site (here) or go direct to the petition (here)
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/22/2004 at 08:51 AM   
Filed Under: • United-Nations •  
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Norwegians On the Right Track?

Last week I read that Norway was selected as the best country in the world in which to live: best standard of living, great wages, good health care (HIGH TAXES, NATCH!), etc. I thought, "what bullshit! You can keep that place!"

Now, if this group gets its way, they may have to take themselves off since their actions would piss off the rest of the politically correct surrender monkey Europeans.

What is it that is being proposed? The banning of Islam!!! Now I think to myself, "if they pass this, maybe it's time to go visit!"

Here's some of the rationale from the deputy leader of the Progress Party:
"It is about high time Norway and Europe make the ideology Islam and the practice of this, illegal and punishable in the same way as Nazism. The prophet Muhammad urged them to kill everyone infidel. The religion as it is practiced is a threat against our social system and way of life."

Buddy, I could not have said it better.

I only hope they win!

bwah ha ha ha
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/22/2004 at 08:41 AM   
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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