BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

calendar   Sunday - July 11, 2004

Poll Results, The Ladies Judge & A New Poll

OK, everyone. Here are the results of our latest poll. We now leave it up to the ladies (our female readers) to interpret the results for us. Ladies, feel free to leave your comments. Don't pull any punches. The guys can take it. Do you think they were honest or were they just being typical guys?

Guys, What Would You Have Done If Debra Lafave Had Come On To You When You Were In The 9th Grade? (multiple selections are allowed)

AnswersVotesPercent
Boinked Her ---- Yes, I would have done the nasty with her. Over and over and ....15961%
Stoopid ---- I would have just stood there and mumbled "Um-um-um-um".3313%
Lied & Bragged ---- I would have told all the guys all about it, exaggerated of course.197%
Masturbated ---- I couldn't do it but I would have jerked off several times. 166%
Married Her ---- I would have fallen madly in love with her and asked her to marry me.125%
Jerk ---- I would have gone and told her husband on her.93%
Virgin ---- I would have told her flat out that I was saving myself for marriage.52%
Asked Dad ---- In confusion, I would have asked Dad to explain sex to me again. 31%
Religious ---- I would have tried to convert her into living a clean life.31%
Told Mommy ---- I would have run crying to mommy and blabbed.00%



The New Poll

Who will win the World Series this year?
(cast your vote in the Visitor's Poll in the sidebar)

Philadelphia Phillies (NL)
St. Louis Cardinals (NL)
Los Angeles Dodgers (NL)
San Francisco Giants (NL)
Chicago Cubs (NL)
New York Yankees (AL)
Minnesota Twins (AL)
Texas Rangers (AL)
Boston Red Sox (AL)
Chicago White Sox (AL)
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 11:39 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (14) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

News from the Third World

They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, in India a guy invented (developed?) (built?) a CLAY REFRIGERATOR!! OK, it's not what you think but DO think along the lines of a large icebox without the ice that keeps veggies, etc cool for 7 days and milk safe for 3 days. It requires no motor and no electricity. Then think how hot it is in India and what a great idea this is. But, then again, Egyptians were making ice in mid-summer during the time of the pharaohs so.......

In any case, check out the last paragraph:
"Though fridge has now become one of the basic requirements, its high cost prevents poor and lower middle class people from buying the product"

Put that in your little thinking hat and give it a few minutes to sink in.....poor and LOWER MIDDLE CLASS people in India ca not afford a fridge (nor the electricity to run it!) Yet we have "poor" in the US who own their homes, have two cars, washers, dryers, TVs, DVD players, computers, do not suffer from hunger because many of them are FAT! and still they complain the government does not do enough for them.

Ship them to India, I say!




From the darkest corners of Africa we have this little gem. Read it and then ask yourself if you need any more reason to confirm why that continent is still so fucked up. Especially when its people believe this nonsense.

Of course, I've not tried having friends come over at night and burn a CD in my house to keep me asleep such that I'd not be able to determine they are robbing me so it COULD be true but...................that little guy who sits on your shoulder and tries to tell you your leg is being pulled is doing one hell of a dance right now.

So......anyway, sorry, but until someone else can give me conclusive proof as to the veracity of this, my bullshit meter will remain pegged and buried.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 09:31 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (5) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Laugh Your Ass Off

I don't know how he does it but Emperor Misha has discovered another priceless gem. I'm gonna have to go to Best Buy tomorrow and buy a new keyboard 'cause I just sprayed my entire drink all over this one. Go take a look at this and you'll see why. It's a 3.9 MB Flash video and if you're not on broadband it might take a while to load. Trust me. It's well worth it. Why? George Bush and John Kerry singing Woody Guthrie's "This Land Is Your Land". With appropriate visuals. Mheh-heh-he-he-he ....... ROFLMAO!
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 02:08 AM   
Filed Under: • Patriotism •  
Comments (10) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"The last time anybody made a list of the top one hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79."
-- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), "Mostly Harmless"


On This Day In History

July 11, 1804 - Burr Slays Hamilton In Duel
In a duel held in Weehawken, New Jersey, Vice President Aaron Burr fatally shoots his long-time political antagonist Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, a leading Federalist and the chief architect of America's political economy, died the following day.

Affairs of honor were commonplace in America at the time, and the complex rules governing them usually led to an honorable resolution before any actual firing of weapons. In fact, the outspoken Hamilton had been involved in several affairs of honor in his life, and he had resolved most of them peaceably. No such recourse was found with Burr, however, and on July 11, 1804, the enemies met at 7 a.m. at the dueling grounds near Weehawken, New Jersey. It was the same spot where Hamilton's son had died defending his father's honor two years before.

There are conflicting accounts of what happened next. According to Hamilton's "second"--his assistant and witness in the duel--Hamilton decided the duel was morally wrong and deliberately fired into the air. Burr's second claimed that Hamilton fired at Burr and missed. What happened next is agreed upon: Burr shot Hamilton in the stomach, and the bullet lodged next to his spine. Hamilton was taken back to New York, and he died the next afternoon.

Few affairs of honor actually resulted in deaths, and the nation was outraged by the killing of a man as eminent as Alexander Hamilton. Charged with murder in New York and New Jersey, Burr, still vice president, returned to Washington, D.C., where he finished his term immune from prosecution.


July 11, 1914 - Babe Ruth's First Major League Game
On this day in 1914, Babe Ruth made his major league baseball debut as a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox. Ruth was a two-time 20-game winner with Boston Red Sox (1916-17); had a 94-46 record with a 2.28 ERA, while he was 3-0 in the World Series with an ERA of 0.87; sold to New York Yankees for $100,000 in 1920.



Today's Birthdays

Robert the Bruce, Scottish King (1274)
John Quincy Adams, American President (1767)
Yul Brynner, American actor (1915)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 01:36 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

France Busts Terrorist Cell

How many Frenchmen does it take to screw up Never-Never-Land? We don't know but it obviously didn't take too many. French customs officials today managed to capture and disarm two deadly terrorists as they attempted to sneak through De Gaulle airport with weapons of mass destruction. When questioned, the Al Qaeda suspects had only this to say, "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa". Paging Inspector Clouseau ....

Terrorist Tots
From The Luton News (UK)


Plastic swords confiscated by French customs

Two-year-old twins had their dream Disneyland holiday ruined – when French airport customs officers swooped on them for carrying plastic swords.

The Luton girls, dressed in Peter Pan outfits, were making their way home through Charles de Gaulle airport when they were stopped for 'posing a security threat'.



At the security check, Olivia and Eva Ryan proudly walked up wearing their outfits, bought at Paris's Disneyland Parc France and bearing the plastic swords which are part of the outfit.

A stern "Non" from the customs and security men met with a flood of tears from the youngsters, and anger from their father, Luton photographer Pete Ryan.

The swords were confiscated with the grim warning that they are replica swords and there was no way they would be permitted on the aircraft back to Britain.

His amazement at the entire episode was underlined for Pete, when after the swords had been confiscated by the French "jobsworths" he saw vicious looking metal spikes for sale just yards away in the duty free shop.

Pete, who works for Luton Borough Council, the Herald&Post and a number of major organisations in town, said: "I was furious. It really upset the twins, and it was particularly bad since we had a really bad time at Disney, which we thought was a total rip-off. It was just a final insult when we walked through the airport and these people decided that the youngsters were a security threat.

"Nobody in their right mind would think that the swords that went with their outfit were real. It's security gone mad."

Pete, of Cranleigh Gardens, said he didn't get angry with the security men. "I just rubbed my eyes in disbelief. They just said basically that rules are rules. If we go again it will be to Disneyland in Florida."

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 12:02 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (11) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Saturday - July 10, 2004

UPDATE!

In case y'all didn't know:

Yankees win three in a row.

Cubbies lose 5 in a row.

GO YANKEES!!!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 06:44 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (10) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Marines Horsin’ Around

We just received the following from one of our troops in Iraq. I think they have way too much free time or way too much beer ....

Semper Fi, guys!

Ohhhh, who fights in that dirthole we call Iraq?
Gruntbob Squaretrousers!
He'll run down the terrorists and stomp on their sack!
Gruntbob Squaretrousers!
He goes on patrol to win hearts and minds.
Gruntbob Squaretrousers!
And will kill anyone holding an RPG that he finds.
Gruntbob Squaretrousers!
Gruntbob Squaretrousers!
Gruntbob Squaretrousers!
Gruntbob....Squaretrousers!
OOH-RAH..HA..HA..HA..HA!!!!



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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 05:01 PM   
Filed Under: • Military •  
Comments (4) Trackbacks(1)  Permalink •  

BIZARRE BIZARRE BIZARRE!

A new study (what would we do without them?) claims Germans shower and change underwear infrequently! Ya think?!?!?!

Now, I have no problem with not showering every day. (personally I rarely go more than 24 hours without one--unless I am camping or in Antarctica.) It all depends on your level of physical activity, perspiration rate, overall humidity of your location and your own level of personal hygiene after the last shower. But changing underwear once a week? EEEEWWW!


Hey!! Did you know that if you talk bad about homosexuals you can go to jail? Apparently that's what happened to a PASTOR!!! Imagine that, a pastor goes to jail for a month for voicing an opinion!!!!! And what did he say that was so offensive? He said that homosexuals are:
"abnormal, a horrible cancerous tumor in the body of society"

Of course, this happened in the socialist workers paradise of Sweden but it won't be long before Dummycraps here in the US start beating the drum for us to regulate free speech. How soon before we will be prohibited from criticizing anyone? or anything? 100 years? Maybe less? Remember the slippery slope concept. It is at work everywhere.


Meanwhile, in Rome, if you yell at someone, "you are a nobody" you will be arrested for slander!


Hey, look at me! Look at my t-shirt! It has a TV built into it so I can intrude into your peace and quiet anywhere I want to with my advertising!

This now gives guys three reasons to stare at a woman's chest. BWAH HA HA HA
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 04:02 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Computer Tip Of The Week

Several readers here have asked me why I don't write about what I know .... computers. The main reason I don't is that it is boring to most non-geeks. I've been working with computers since the early 1970's, from mainframes to minicomputers to microcomputers. I can code in over a dozen computer languages, I've worked as a Unix administrator, network administrator, systems analyst, software engineer, plain old down-in-the-trenches coder and for the last fifteen years I have specialized in Oracle database administration and client server networks. I have a BS and MS in Computer Science and an entire wall covered with certifications from Cisco, Microsoft, Novell, Oracle, Sun, etc. The majority of my work in the last two decades has been for the Department Of Defense (which is another reason I don't talk about my work - I simply cannot, or they'll shoot me).

However, I can share my knowledge about general topics and I plan to start doing so every Saturday with a Computer Tip Of The Week each week. This week's topic is:

SPAM


No, not the good kind that comes in a can and makes for great picnics. We're talking about the bad kind that comes in your e-mail box every single day. Legislation has been passed in the US but it hasn't been very effective since most spammers are outside the US borders nowadays. Recently, the UN said it was going to take up the subject of spam and seek international cooperation to help stop spam .... I'll give you a few minutes to stop laughing over that one because we all know the UN is about as useless as tits on a bull.

However, there are a few things you can do ....

1- Most e-mail providers nowadays provide simple spam protection filters. Yahoo, Hotmail and GMail to name a few. Make use of their filtering.

2- Never give out your e-mail address on the web unless you're absolutely positive it won't be used for nefarious purposes.

3- Set up a dummy e-mail address with one of the providers that you can use to give out to web sites where you're not sure whether it will be spammed.

4- Most e-mail software nowadays also includes spam filtering. Programs like Microsoft Outlook and Lotus Notes have built-in features. Turn them on and use them.

5- Most importantly, write your Congressman or Senator and let them know you want something done about spam. Send them an e-mail every day. In other words, spam them. Sooner or later, they'll get the hint.

6- Finally, I would like to recommend a product that I use and is probably the most effective weapon against spam. It is called Mailwasher Pro from Firetrust Software. I've used it for nearly two years and for only $37 you can't beat it. What does it do? It allows you to preview your e-mails while they're still on the e-mail server. You can flag senders and tell Mailwasher Pro to automatically delete from these senders in the future (sort of an e-mail blacklist). Most importantly though, it allows you to "bounce" e-mails back to the sender. Why is that so important? Because it makes it appear to the sender that your e-mail account doesn't exist and they will remove you from their damned mailing lists if they keep getting bounces. In addition, the latest versions of Mailwasher Pro also contain anti-virus software, allowing you to delete e-mails containing viruses before they ever get to your computer. To me, Mailwasher Pro is the most important piece of software I own for home use. Firetrust has downloadable trial versions so you can "try before you buy". Give it a try. You won't regret it.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 03:33 PM   
Filed Under: •   
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Light Hearted Stuff for Saturday

With a tip o' the hat to Sandy, I bring you some light hearted reading today.

Subject: Blondes



DEAD BMW

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often?"

EXPOSURE

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why officer?"

"Because your breast is hanging out," he says.

She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 01:47 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Batty’s Back

Another blog site update: I finally decided to invest in a professional logo creation package and tinker around with the site banner and a few other odds and ends to further personalize the site instead of using the canned templates we've been using. I got "The Logo Creator" from LaughingBird Software and went to work.

First of all, I decided that after all the complaints from our readers it was time to put Batty back on the banner. So he's there, snarling and overseeing everything again. He's guarding the flag to make sure no damned hippies try to burn it. I dug through the image library provided with Logo Creator and stumbled across the image you see on the left. I thought it was cool, with the Pentagon (which is also home plate in baseball). Radar dish mounted on top and fighter aircraft scrambled - it just kinda fits.

All that was left was the site name. Logo Creator lets you insert text and do all kinds of magical things to it, like give it a metallic, embossed, gradient look like you see. Altogether, it seemed to me to give the site a high-impact powerful logo.

Let me know what you think. I may tinker with it a bit more but for now I'm pleased with the new look.

Note: Last night I secretly changed the master background to a high-contrast blue-gray stripe and when Vilmar got up this morning he freaked. Naturally, I told him I couldn't see any stripes. He rebooted his computer to see if it would clear it up. I finally confessed to the evil deed. Hey, we have to dork with our Benevolent Dictator occasionally just to keep him awake. Mheh-heh-he-he ....

Baseball Update: The Cubbies lost badly to the Cards last night but there's two more games in St. Louis before the All-Star Break next week. Cubs placed Sammy Sosa, Moises Alou and Carlos Zambrano on the NL All-Stars team. Sammy will be in the Home Run Derby on Monday for the sixth time.

GO CUBS!

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 11:49 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (9) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Dirtbags on the Left Coast

A solider returns from fighting in Iraq. He was wounded there. He participates in his hometown 4th of July parade and hears what all soldiers fear: cries of baby killer, murderer, and lots of "boos!"

It all started when one of the parade announcers looks at him and in a sarcastic voice, says into the microphone, "And what exactly are you a veteran of?" That's all the crowd needed to begin its atrocious behavior.

Of course, she is now backpedaling so fast her shoes melted off her feet. Her defenders are saying those words were directed to President Bush and not the soldier.

And, also, this happened in the Socialist state of Washington on the leftist paradise of Bainbridge Island where Kerry's supporters marching in the parade were cheered to high heaven.

One last note: that announcer's father? He died in Vietnam.

(must.....control....the......fist......of........death!)
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 07:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
Comments (7) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

This week's award goes to an organization within the United Nations, the International Court Of Justice. On July 9, the court handed down an "advisory" decision declaring Israel's wall, that is being built to keep out Paleswinian terrorists, is illegal. The Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award is not being given to them because of this idiotic decision but because for fifty years they never said a word about another wall, in Berlin. The Berlin Wall was built to keep East Germans from escaping to freedom in the West, guaranteeing the virtual slavery of these people for half a century. The ICJ, which was founded in 1946, never uttered a peep about that wall but now it seems they think the Israelis are wrong to try to protect themselves from madmen with bombs strapped to their chests.

For those who are interested, there was one lone dissenting vote on the decision, from Judge Thomas Buergenthal, who is the only member of the court from the United States. You can read his declaration here.

In case you're wondering, don't expect the ICJ to rule any time soon on the illegality of the Great Wall Of China either. The president of the court is Shi Jiuyong .... from Communist China. Other members of the court are from Egypt, Jordan, Venezuela, Sierra Leone, France, etc. The court's composition is available here.

Awarded To:
The International Court Of Justice



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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 05:47 AM   
Filed Under: • Awards •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time."
-- Anonymous Navy Pilot


On This Day In History

July 10, 1987 - The Sinking Of The Rainbow Warrior
In Auckland harbor in New Zealand, Greenpeace's Rainbow Warrior sinks after French agents in diving gear plant a bomb on the hull of the vessel. One person, Dutch photographer Fernando Pereira, was killed. The Rainbow Warrior, the flagship of international conservation group Greenpeace, had been preparing for a protest voyage to a French nuclear test site in the South Pacific.

Two days after the incident, French authorities denied responsibility in the bombing and continued to do so even after New Zealand police arrested two French secret service agents in Auckland. Under pressure from New Zealand authorities, the French government formed an inquiry to investigate the incident and after several weeks concluded that the French agents were merely spying on Greenpeace. Later in the year, however, a British newspaper uncovered evidence of French President Francois Mitterrand's authorization of the bombing plan, leading to several top-level resignations in Mitterrand's cabinet and an admission by French Prime Minister Laurent Fabius that the agents had sunk the vessel under orders.

In Auckland, the two agents pleaded guilty to the lesser charges of manslaughter and willful damage and were each sentenced to 10 years in prison. Following negotiations with the French government, New Zealand released them a year later. In 1992, President Mitterrand ordered a halt to French nuclear testing, but in 1995 it was resumed, and Greenpeace sent The Rainbow Warrior II to French Polynesia to protest and disrupt the tests.




Today's Birthdays

John Calvin, Theologian (1509)
David Brinkley, News broadcaster (1920)
Arthur Ashe, American tennis player (1943)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 12:53 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (2) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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