Wednesday - August 25, 2004

The Third World (part 3)

Number 3 in a continuing series of "stuff" that makes your jaw drop, makes you scratch your head in wonder, and basically just say to yourself, "why not just nuke that part of the world and get it over with?"

From South Africa we have more tales of moonbat-ness. A "prophets" tells a family their 77 year old family member would arise from the dead. He did not.

The family commented though, that after 7 days he still looked fine:

"But after a few days out of the fridge the smell was not OK." :

Nooo, you don't say!!!!

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Don't fuck with the dead, especially in China.

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From Tanzania we have an individual, part of a 4 man crew of robbers, who goes to a witch doctor seeking the ability to resist bullets and knife wounds. That, in itself, should say a lot about his level of intelligence. The doctor obliges by rubbing powders and potions into the skin he'd just cut open.

Except the doc got overzealous and the crook bled to death.

Result: one dead bad guy, one doctor who headed for the hills, 3 crooks going to jail when they brought their friend in to the hospital.

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Prosecutors are actually seriously considering a plea from a convicted terrorist who filed a petition to be granted bail for 30 days so he can do "the beast with two backs" with his wife.

His justification?

"he and his wife are suffering mental trauma because their physical needs have not been met for such a long time."

Special prize to the first who can identify where the line "beast with two backs" comes from. (author, title of work, and location within title)

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Lastly, in a bit of gruesome news from the part of the world where gruesome is a way of life. In Mozambique people are forcibly held down while their organs are removed in order to supply black magic medicine market demands.

And why did I say that gruesome is a way of life? Read on to see what President of the Maputo Human Rights league has to say:

"The first time I saw something like this I cried, but eventually one gets used to it,"

So tell me again how the hell can we ever take the Third World seriously with stuff like this?

Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public."
-- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937)

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On This Day In History

August 25, 1944 - Paris Liberated
After more than four years of Nazi occupation, Paris is liberated by the French 2nd Armored Division and the U.S. 4th Infantry Division. German resistance was light, and General Dietrich von Choltitz, commander of the German garrison, defied an order by Adolf Hitler to blow up Paris' landmarks and burn the city to the ground before its liberation. Choltitz signed a formal surrender that afternoon, and on August 26, Free French General Charles de Gaulle led a joyous liberation march down the Champs d'Elysees.

Paris fell to Nazi Germany on June 14, 1940, one month after the German Wehrmacht stormed into France. Eight days later, France signed an armistice with Germans, and a puppet French state was set up with its capital at Vichy. Elsewhere, however, General Charles de Gaulle and the Free French kept fighting, and the Resistance sprang up in occupied France to resist Nazi and Vichy rule.

The French 2nd Armored Division was formed in London in late 1943 with the express purpose of leading the liberation of Paris during the Allied invasion of France. In August 1944, the division arrived at Normandy under the command of General Jacques-Philippe Leclerc and was attached to General George S. Patton's 3rd U.S. Army. By August 18, Allied forces were near Paris, and workers in the city went on strike as Resistance fighters emerged from hiding and began attacking German forces and fortifications.

At his headquarters two miles inland from the Normandy coast, Supreme Allied Commander Dwight D. Eisenhower had a dilemma. Allied planners had concluded that the liberation of Paris should be delayed so as to not divert valuable resources away from important operations elsewhere. The city could be encircled and then liberated at a later date.

On August 21, Eisenhower met with de Gaulle and told him of his plans to bypass Paris. De Gaulle urged him to reconsider, assuring him that Paris could be reclaimed without difficulty. The French general also warned that the powerful communist faction of the Resistance might succeed in liberating Paris, thereby threatening the re-establishment of a democratic government. De Gaulle politely told Eisenhower that if his advance against Paris was not ordered, he would send Leclerc's 2nd Armored Division into the city himself.

On August 22, Eisenhower agreed to proceed with the liberation of Paris. The next day, the 2nd Armored Division advanced on the city from the north and the 4th Infantry Division from the south. Meanwhile, in Paris, the forces of German General Dietrich von Choltitz were fighting the Resistance and completing their defenses around the city. Hitler had ordered Paris defended to the last man, and demanded that the city not fall into Allied hands except as "a field of ruins." Choltitz dutifully began laying explosives under Paris' bridges and many of its landmarks, but disobeyed an order to commence the destruction. He did not want to go down in history as the man who had destroyed the "City of Light"--Europe's most celebrated city.

The 2nd Armored Division ran into heavy German artillery, taking heavy casualties, but on August 24 managed to cross the Seine and reach the Paris suburbs. There, they were greeted by enthusiastic civilians who besieged them with flowers, kisses, and wine. Later that day, Leclerc learned that the 4th Infantry Division was poised to beat him into Paris proper, and he ordered his exhausted men forward in a final burst of energy. Just before midnight on August 24, the 2nd Armored Division reached the Hýtel de Ville in the heart of Paris.

German resistance melted away during the night. Most of the 20,000 troops surrendered or fled, and those that fought were quickly overcome. On the morning of August 25, the 2nd Armored Division swept clear the western half of Paris while the 4th Infantry Division cleared the eastern part. Paris was liberated.

In the early afternoon, Choltitz was arrested in his headquarters by French troops. Shortly after, he signed a document formally surrendering Paris to de Gaulle's provincial government. De Gaulle himself arrived in the city later that afternoon. On August 26, de Gaulle and Leclerc led a triumphant liberation march down the Champs d'Elysees. Scattered gunfire from a rooftop disrupted the parade, but the identity of the snipers was not determined.

De Gaulle headed two successive French provisional governments until 1946, when he resigned over constitutional disagreements. From 1958 to 1969, he served as French president under the Fifth Republic..

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Today's Birthdays

Allan Pinkerton, (1819–1884), American detective, founder of the Pinkerton National Detective Agency
Leonard Bernstein, (1918–1990), American composer, conductor, and pianist
George Wallace, (1919–98), Governor of Alabama

_{Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.}

   Tuesday - August 24, 2004

Star Wars - Episode VII

"Star Wars - Episode III, Revenge Of The Sith" is scheduled for release on May 29 of next year. This will complete the six-part series. There will be no more adventures with Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, Jar-Jar Binks, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Vader ....

Or will there be more? Hold on, we have a super secret message from Yoda ....

"Pay attention young Jedi. Deeply disturbed the Force is becoming", Yoda whispered under this breath.

"Rumors there are of nine episodes in all. Stay tuned you must be", Yoda continued.

"Yes, Master Yoda", I replied as I sharpened my might saber.



Memo to the numb-nuts out there: You sharpen a light saber with a light whetstone .... and you rub it very lightly over the edge at the speed of light. All true Jedi Knights learn how to do this as part of their training.

What’s Up With Kerry’s Silver Star Citations?

Henry and Erika Holzer did some investigating (the kind we wish the mainstream media would do) and found out that the Silver Star Citation that Kerry got to accompany award of same-named medal has been modified two times after the original was approved. (hey, a Silver Star is a BIG FUCKING DEAL in the military) They print all three citations and then compare and contrast the differences between the three.

They don't stop there, though. They go further to explain what the differences are between them and when the changes took place. They also describe the process of amending these citations and raise some excellent questions as to how Kerry was able to pull this off plus they ask WHY he would want to do so and you end up wondering what political pull was involved here and what groundwork was being laid to get Kerry where he is today?

They conclude with a series of questions they'd like John FUCKING Kerry to answer.

A fantastic read worthy of distribution to everyone on your mailing lists.

The Texas Doctrine

I just got this from a Texan. Fortunately, he's a friend and has offered me political asylum in Texas should Kerry win. The rest of you are SOL. Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins president over Bush. We'll miss you too.

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our their hands.

Here is our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49 states).

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic Of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (we will control the space industry).

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD,
Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and
other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, Ivy grows better in the south anyway

9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need some more)

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.


Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV.

The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr.. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed, The People in Texas

Have a nice day!

(-- thanks to Don R.)

Insanity in our schools

I first heard about this a few months ago when my niece came to visit and she told me she is prohibited from using red to mark her students' papers. I almost crapped my drawers! So now we go so far as to protect the psyche of these little misfits by prohibiting certain colors?

What alternative reality do these educators come from? Listen to this reason why they use purple now instead of red:

"Purple stands out, but it doesn't look as scary as red."

OOOOOHHHH!! Red is scary!! I'm terrified!

Another barking moonbat teacher has this to say:

"Red has a negative connotation, and we want to promote self-confidence. I like purple. I use purple a lot."

Godammit maybe these kids NEED to be SCARED! The little fucks may be failing! Do these educators actually think employers are going to give a shit about their feelings when these little maroons come seeking employment? Why is it we are so hell-bent on sheltering children, anyway? It serves them worse in the real world.

It's bad enough you can't hug the little beggars and, by consequence, turn the school environment into a cold and sterile place (and kids in pre-K to 5th grade can certainly use more hugs and signs of affection. As a matter of fact they crave it)

It's bad enough teachers can't expel troublemakers from the classroom (but at the rate this politically correct crap is going students will soon be expelled if they mention Jesus Christ in a playground or if a student refuses to select certain other classmates on to their teams thereby making those students guilty of "bullying tactics" or students may find themselves expelled for saying that Little Johnny's father is a homosexual (even if it is true) but the charge on the student will be for a hate crime.)

It's getting absolutely ridiculous.

Guess what else I was told some teachers up north can't do? Write on the students' papers. Why? Because it invades their space and offends them, I guess. At first I thought my leg was being pulled. Then I read this:

"At times, she uses sticky notes rather than writing on a child's paper."

WTF,O?!?!?!?!

Hey, let's open this up to other egregious examples. The floor is yours. Have at it. Let's hear them.

The Apologists In England are At It Again

British officials APOLOGIZED IN WRITING to a bunch of sheethead prisoners for having served them pork by mistake!!!!!

Not only that but they took it completely off the menu. So now ALL prisoners have to suffer for these shitbirds' beliefs.

I really do not understand what all this kowtowing and bowing and scraping to these dirtbags in prison is all about. Really. These are fucking prisoners. If they don't like what's fed them, skip a meal for a day or realize your religion is a fucked up one and start eating that pig you so crave.

Think Twicce

Read this first and pay attention to the name of the airlines and the acronym for it.

(wait, wait, wait)

(drum fingers)

(tap, tap, crack knuckles, scratch crotch)

Are you back?

Remember the acronym?

You can probably now understand why people who use it to fly to Portugal call it..................

****drum roll*****

(T)ake (A)nother (P)lane.

The S**t List With A Side Trip

Since Hollyweirdoes insist on making public statements in matters political, I will make personal statements by banning them from my home.

For you new readers, my philosophy is this: Hollyweirdoes have a right to their opinion. No doubt. But when those opinions are carried by the media, thereby amplifying the voice of these moonbats a millionfold, well, that's where I draw the line.

You see, there are too many stupid fucking people in the US who actually formulate opinions about who to vote because of what actors say. I suspect it is some sort of misplaced hero worship related to not being able to differentiate the real person from the actor they portray.

Anyways, since my opinions and knowledge of matters political are usually MUCH GREATER than these barking moonbats' and I get NO CORRESPONDING TIME from the press, the only solution I have is to boycott these sons of bitches.

My original list is here.

A later update is here.

On to the two latest shitheels: Matt Damon and Scarlet Johannsen. I will not go to any of their movies, nor rent/buy any of their videotapes or DVDs. Doing so will compromise my principles by continuing to provide additional income to these assclowns. The more money they have, the richer and more influential they become. Their perception of self-importance grows and a willing and complicit media will, in turn, provide them ever larger outlets for spouting their nonsense.

That's that. So now let's go on a little side trip now but we stay with Hollywood as a uniting theme.

The Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson finds Will Smith opening his yapper in Germany bemoaning what it's like in the US as a Black man. There are few places in the world where Will Smith is able to do what he's done in America. Now he drives a Bentley, lives VERY large, yet STILL bad mouths the white man who, for the most part, is the one who goes to his shows, attends his movies, and gave him his money.

Rev. Peterson goes on to skewer Denzel Washington, Danny Glover, Spike Lee, and others for their vast hypocrisy and willingness to use the race card to trump all arguments and attempt to show themselves as "victims" of white oppression.

Lastly on our little trip we have Helen "DEGENERATE" Degeneres about to play God (of all beings) in a remake of the huge success film in the late 70s starring George Burns.

Please, put this on your "BANNED AND NEVER WILL WATCH" list.

Darwin’s Failures?

The first time natural selection was foiled but, hey, we all make mistakes and no one can say they did this on purpose.

The second time, though, they should have been left out there because now they were treading on "stupid" territory.

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Hot on the heels of that is another candidate for the chlorination of the gene pool.

Why? Because she plans to do it again! Say all you want to me about "hey, you got back on the bike when you fell off, right?" or "hey, just because you have a car accident doesn't mean you sop driving, right?" but jumping out of a perfectly good airplane is just not right.

Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us."
-- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - )

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On This Day In History

August 24, 79 A.D. - Vesuvius Erupts
After centuries of dormancy, Mount Vesuvius erupts in southern Italy, devastating the prosperous Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum and killing thousands. The cities, buried under a thick layer of volcanic material and mud, were never rebuilt and largely forgotten in the course of history. In the 18th century, Pompeii and Herculaneum were rediscovered and excavated, providing an unprecedented archaeological record of the everyday life of an ancient civilization, startlingly preserved in sudden death.The ancient cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum thrived near the base of Mount Vesuvius at the Bay of Naples. In the time of the early Roman Empire, 20,000 people lived in Pompeii, including merchants, manufacturers, and farmers who exploited the rich soil of the region with numerous vineyards and orchards. None suspected that the black fertile earth was the legacy of earlier eruptions of Mount Vesuvius. Herculaneum was a city of 5,000 and a favorite summer destination for rich Romans. Named for the mythic hero Hercules, Herculaneum housed opulent villas and grand Roman baths. Gambling artifacts found in Herculaneum and a brothel unearthed in Pompeii attest to the decadent nature of the cities. There were smaller resort communities in the area as well, such as the quiet little town of Stabiae. At noon on August 24, 79 A.D., this pleasure and prosperity came to an end when the peak of Mount Vesuvius exploded, propelling a 10-mile mushroom cloud of ash and pumice into the stratosphere. For the next 12 hours, volcanic ash and a hail of pumice stones up to 3 inches in diameter showered Pompeii, forcing the city's occupants to flee in terror. Some 2,000 people stayed in Pompeii, holed up in cellars or stone structures, hoping to wait out the eruption.

August 24, 1814 - British Capture And Burn Washington
During the War of 1812, British forces under General Robert Ross overwhelm American militiamen at the Battle of Bladensburg, Maryland, and march unopposed into Washington, D.C. Most congressmen and officials fled the nation's capital as soon as word came of the American defeat, but President James Madison and his wife, Dolley, escaped just before the invaders arrived. Earlier in the day, President Madison had been present at the Battle of Bladensburg and had at one point actually taken command of one of the few remaining American batteries, thus becoming the first and only president to exercise in actual battle his authority as commander in chief. The British army entered Washington in the late afternoon, and General Ross and British officers dined that night at the deserted White House. Meanwhile, the British troops, ecstatic that they had captured their enemy's capital, began setting the city aflame in revenge for the burning of Canadian government buildings by U.S. troops earlier in the war. The White House, a number of federal buildings, and several private homes were destroyed. The still uncompleted Capitol building was also set on fire, and the House of Representatives and the Library of Congress were gutted before a torrential downpour doused the flames. On August 26, General Ross, realizing his untenable hold on the capital area, ordered a withdrawal from Washington. The next day, President Madison returned to a smoking and charred Washington and vowed to rebuild the city. James Hoban, the original architect of the White House, completed reconstruction of the executive mansion in 1817.

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Today's Birthdays

Cal Ripken, Jr., (1960--), Baseball player (the "Iron Man" of baseball)
Steve Guttenberg, (1958--), American actor and producer

_{Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.}

   Monday - August 23, 2004

F**K Kerry

HA!!! You thought I was going to post something about The Poodle, eh?

NAH!!!

We have to liven things up so I've got this joke that I thought was hilarious.

SOME of you (you know who) will probably want to skin me for it. It's a golf joke.

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Having lunch in the clubhouse this last weekend, I couldn't help but overhear one blonde woman golfer telling another, "I got injured between the first and second hole."

"That's a bitch," said her friend, "You'll never get a band-aid to stick there!"

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(he runs, he fakes left, fakes right, dives for cover!)

New Democratic Platform

FLASH!!! FLASH!!! FLASH!!! FLASH!!! FLASH!!! FLASH!!! FLASH!!!

Our spies have infiltrated the Dummycrap camp and have just gotten their hands on the new "10 step" platform the Dems intend to use as it regards war fighting, terrorism and related subjects.

This is quite an extraordinary coup and we expect our operatives to be hunted down for this so we've given them new identities and provided them asylum.

Here it is:

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1. Stop calling war as a "war." Rename it to the "Protest Against Terror." Protests always get people's attention and let them know that what you're protesting against is wrong.

2. Use softer bullets. Metal bullets hurt the terrorists, and that makes them hate us more.

3.Candidate for President Kerry will invite Osama bin Laden to the states for a "cuddling party" with him and John Edwards at Kerry's summer estate in the Rockies.As you know, nothing makes friends faster than a good cuddle.

4. Only go to war if the French and the UN say it's okay. Everyone knows how skillful the French are at dealing with other nations, and the UN has proven time and again its efficacy in dealing with terrorists.

5. Pull the troops out of Iraq within six months, but stay the course and even send more troops. If you have to ask, it means you must be a Republican and it's too nuanced for you.

6. Gently but firmly remind the terrorists that John Kerry was in Vietnam for four months thirty-five years ago. This will guarantee terrorists won't pull anything then.

7. Ensure government owned and operated health care for all Americans, paid for with higher taxes. Terrorists won't bother to attack if they know all Americans have health care; it won't do any good then.

8. Stop eating pork and cover all the women head to toe. Don't let women go to school or vote. That will show the terrorists that we understand them and appreciate their culture.

9 Don't call them "terrorists." They feel bad enough about our bullying, abusive foreign policy as it is. Call them "armed peace demonstrators." They'll feel more... peaceful.

10. Don't send soldiers; send social workers. All the terrorists really need is love and understanding.

So Sue Me!

Looks like John O'Neill has pulled off his the gloves and thrown them down as gauntlets at the feet of John F**ing Kerry (you know, the Vietnam vet who's French-looking and called The Poodle because, like a poodle he is a rich woman's toy---yeah, that guy!) by challenging Kerry to, instead of suing publishing companies or whining to the FEC, to SUE HIM!

Like a tommy gun, he goes rat-a-tat-a-tat:

"If he was actually in Cambodia on Christmas Eve in 1968, he should sue me,"

"If, in fact those other five boats on March 13th, 1969, if they all fled like he did instead of staying like he knows they did, he should sue me."

"If he didn't wound himself with a grenade, causing a rice fanny wound, and then reported it to the Navy as a water mine – if he didn't do that on March 13th he should sue me"

Wanna bet Kerry hides behind his lawyers?

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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