BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

calendar   Thursday - September 02, 2004

S (ure) H (appy) I (t’s) T (hursday) BMEWS’d NEWS

For the second week in a row we have a S.H.I.T. feature for you.

First, let's close a loop from last week's S.H.I.T.: remember that kid arrested for "Maliciously" clogging a toilet at the US/Canadian border? I first wrote about it here. Well, they've flushed the charges and he is now free to go home and stuff his own commode.




You'd think the bus company would install some lights to fix this problem.




The Krauts are at it! And I mean it literally!

What I want to know is what's going on in Germany? Is Schroeder putting something in the water supply? Is this how the Krauts keep their minds off their really high unemployment rate, or their lack of productivity, or their inability to be taken credibly by the rest of the world?

First you have a couple making so much noise doing the beast with two backs that neighbors a block away are complaining! Now THAT'S energetic sex!

Then you have a guy, drunk, in a shopping arcade, doing the beast with two backs with a BLOW-UP DOLL!!!!!

So, again, what the hell is going on with the Krauts?




From Leno: Did you see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He’s at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his favorite thing, windsurfing. Even his hobby depends on which way the wind blows.




Proving that Floridians can do at least one thing right.




Sanity in the judicial process.




An example of how capitalism is so desired all over the world. Ragheads dying for $150 in IKEA gift certificates!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/02/2004 at 10:06 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Zell Miller’s Speech

Here is the full text of Zell Miller's speech last night to the Republican National Convention. This is one fiesty old Democrat who has seen the light. This is probably one of the greatest speeches I've ever heard from a modern-day politician. File it for future reference. Required reading. Click the flag below to read this excellent speech.

Fox News has the video of the speech here.

NOTE FROM THE BENEVOLENT DICTATOR:

Allan beat me to the punch. I was going to post the whole thing rather than link it but suffice it to say it was ABSOLUTELY SCATHING!!!! A DAMNING INDICTMENT of the democrat party today........ a party that places its own power above the good of the nation.

If you can not take 5 minutes to read this, you don't belong at this blog. Go find some cartoons to entertain yourselves with. But if you believe our country is in danger, not just from terrorists but from the duplicitousness of the Democratic party, then proceed. Yeah, it may be longer than most stuff we put up for all y'all to read but quit whinin' and get readin'!!!

DAMN!!!!!! IT IS G-R-R-R-EAT!!!

(sorry, I can't help myself. This has got to be one of the best things I've read in a coon's age--which is why I am so passionate about it!)
See More Below The Fold

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/02/2004 at 07:41 AM   
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"Civilization is built on a number of ultimate principles...respect for human life, the punishment of crimes against property and persons, the equality of all good citizens before the law...or, in a word justice."
-- Max Nordau (1849 - 1923)


On This Day In History

September 2, 1945 - Japan Surrenders
Aboard the USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay, Japan formally surrenders to the Allies, bringing an end to World War II. On Sunday, September 2, more than 250 Allied warships lay at anchor in Tokyo Bay. The flags of the United States, Britain, the Soviet Union, and China fluttered above the deck of the Missouri. Just after 9 a.m. Tokyo time, Japanese Foreign Minister Mamoru Shigemitsu signed on behalf of the Japanese government. General Yoshijiro Umezu then signed for the Japanese armed forces, and his aides wept as he made his signature. Supreme Commander MacArthur next signed on behalf of the United Nations, declaring, "It is my earnest hope and indeed the hope of all mankind that from this solemn occasion a better world shall emerge out the blood and carnage of the past." Ten more signatures were made, by the United States, China, Britain, the USSR, Australia, Canada, France, the Netherlands, and New Zealand, respectively. Admiral Chester W. Nimitz signed for the United States. As the 20-minute ceremony ended, the sun burst through low-hanging clouds. The most devastating war in human history was over.



Today's Birthdays

Terry Bradshaw, (1948- ), Football player
Peter V. Ueberroth, (1937- ), Baseball commissioner


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/02/2004 at 07:30 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - September 01, 2004

Kelly’s First Law Of Humanity

"The evil that men do is directly proportional to the degree to which they subjugate or enslave their women."


Think about that for a few minutes. You know I'm right. I was just the first man to voice it openly. Examine all the cultures back through history. In every circumstance where men made second-class citizens out of their women, the men behaved badly. Why is this? Well, let me tell you about the male brain .. it is concerned mainly with only two things: (1) power and (2) pussy.

Now, power can be expressed as desire for more food, more land, better living conditions or even .. more money. All require power of some kind or other before man can get them and they all endow the man who achieves them with even more power.

Which brings me to the second male obsession: pussy. In a society where the men rule their women with an iron hand, forcing them to cover themselves at all times, not allowing them to venture out in public without an escort, not allowing them to participate in government, not allowing them to get an education, and most importantly forcing them into an enslaved state when they are married .... usually beaten at the whim of their husband and sometimes "legally" murdered for the slightest transgression, the men always end up behaving badly. For instance, the women in the Middle Eastern Islamic countries. Look at how badly their men behave. The Islamic men are out of control because guns give them power and their women have no controlling or moderating influence over them. Consider what would happen to the Islamic wife if she should ever tell Ahmed, her husband that she doesn't feel like "putting out" tonight. She would be beaten within an inch of her life and raped. Ahmed has his AK-47 and he can rape his wife whenever he feels like it.

Now, look at the other side of the coin. For instance, the United States where women are equal to men in every way society measures it and in some cases more equal ("Yes" can mean "No" if she changes her mind). Compare how American men behave. We're pussy-whipped, fellas. Kim DuToit was right. Our women have done more than anyone to contribute to the "pussification" of the Western male. This politically correct shit started with them when they fell for Alan Alda's "sensitive man" bullshit back in the 1970's. They want to take our guns away. They want us to stop playing violent games like football and take up soccer.

And now we have this pussy-faced gigolo from Massachusetts running for President? A "warrior" who deserted his men after three scratches and four months at "war" and who then came back and told lies about them to Congress.

We have become pussys ourselves, guys while the enemy is getting meaner and meaner. Either we have to elevate the women in the Middle East to equal status with their men or we're going to have to enslave our women so we can get mean again.

If you choose the second option, try this experiment tonight on your wife or girlfriend .... after supper, get up from the table, drop your trousers and tell her, "ALL RIGHT, WOMAN! STRIP AND SPREAD 'EM!".

Let me know how your experiment goes, will ya?

Then again, we can always look for ways to provide Ahmed's wife with a rolling pin and the courage to use it. You know I'm telling the truth. Kelly's First Law Of Humanity says it is so.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 06:59 PM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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In Preparation for Taking Out Goblins

Considering all the news about goblins in the world (whether they be your run-of-the-mill criminal, a moonbat or a sheethead), I decided to do some preparatory work and take my ass out to the local range.

The first target was shredded and can't be shown as I was just blasting away to get a feel for the pistols and see how they shot, and get a few rounds through their new barrels. Also, I've not shot a revolver in 32 years and never shot a 45 cal semi-automatic.

But here's the second target shot with the 45. Nothing outside the rings and shot from 25 feet, 2 handed grip, full frontal stance.

Oh, and one more thing. I am left handed but the range guy told me to try shooting right handed. This was the result, right handed!!

(if memory serves correctly--two 8 round mags and one mag of 5 rounds):



Hopefully this weekend I will go back out and shoot the 357 right handed and then both left handed.

No matter, I think this was pretty good for first time.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 04:50 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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For Your Entertainment

Never let it be said the internet is boring. There is always something jumping out at you that makes you absolutely split your sides with laughter. Some even make you ROFLYAO.

This site is one such place. They need to rename the site "NeverLand".
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 04:37 PM   
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Just Do It!

From Russia: Attackers wearing suicide-bomb belts seized a Russian school in a region bordering Chechnya on Wednesday, taking hostage about 400 people — half of them children — and threatening to blow up the building. Anywhere between 3 and 8 people were killed, one of them a parent who resisted an attacker.

Some children were able to escape. Here's one:



Suicide-bomb belts? Guns? Children held hostage? Who do these fucktards think they are? No one has the right to do this to children! NO ONE! I repeat .... NO ONE, DAMMIT!

Sooner or later the Russkis are going to get fed up with this shit and Chechnya will be wiped clean, devoid of all life and maybe even glowing in the dark. You have to know "Pooty-Poot", as "W" calls him, is fast reaching the end of his rope with these Muslim gangsters in Chechnya. The other shoe is probably not far from falling on the Chechen's heads. Never forget that Putin was head of KGB at one time in his life. That guy probably still has a lot of very nasty friends out there who are fully capable of a little "wet work" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

And you know what ......?

I wouldn't blame the Russkis and Putin one damned bit. In fact I wish they would go ahead and get it over with. Sure, the bleeding-heart Liberals here in the US will bitch and moan and Jesse Jackson will denounce the action as racist. Of course, Jimmy Carter will scream from the rooftops about "human rights abuses". But .... who gives a shit what they think anyway?

So my advice to President Putin is .... JUST DO IT!

UPDATE: The numbers of children and others held hostage is now down to between 120-150. Still too many. Now the terrorist assholes are saying they'll kill 50 kids for every one of theirs killed.

You know, if they so much as harm a hair on any child's head Putin should declare open season on all these bastards even going so far as to furnish rifles and ammo to the citizenry.

Update From Allan: Sorry to disappoint you all but I went to work today anyway (bill collectors never sleep). I've been following this story with occasional peeks at the internet from the office. I want to thank Vilmar for updating this story as it progresses. I'm home at lunch now and following details. As you may have figured out by now, there is one thing that absolutely infuriates me no end. I'm talking rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth ANGRY! That is when anyone harms a child. I will not stand for it under any circumstances. Period. With that said, I think I need to propose to you a solution to all this. There is no incentive for these madmen to stop what they are doing. The bleeding heart Liberals around the world have removed any form of penalty that would discourage them. Until we (the entire world community) stands up and declares that ANY TERRORIST ACT WILL BE PUNISHED WITH HORRID, MEDIEVAL PENALTIES they will continue their atrocities. We need a uniform declaration that the terrorists (and their immediate families) will be drawn and quartered, after agonizing punishment and their dismembered bodies buried in pig shit. Fight fire with fire is my motto. We can go back to being civilized after this has passed. Sometimes you just gotta be a hardass. So let it be written, so let it be done - by order of the BMEWS Secretary Of War.

For the record, every time I look at the picture of that little girl running with that soldier, my teeth start grinding, my jaw starts clinching and my fists start pounding on the desk. There is no lower life-form than a person who will harm a child. Gotta run back to work now. And try and stay calm ..........
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 09:54 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Careful what you ask for

Two of the best bosses I ever had in the Air Force were Colonels of Puerto Rican descent while I worked at the American Embassy in Lisbon, Portugal. They taught me a lot and I am indebted to them. Why do I bring this up? Because it helps set the stage for the following story I got from one of them.



One of the many headaches that the U. S. had was the Puerto Rican Island of Vieques. In the waning years of the Clinton Administration, protesters demanded that the US Navy abandon bombing and naval gun fire exercises that had taken place on the largely uninhabited island for nearly seventy years. Liberal icons bumped into one another to fly to Puerto Rico, boat over to the island, trespass (but never on a day that there was an exercise scheduled) and get arrested for the benefit of the New York Times or Newsweek. They included : Al Sharpton, Mrs. Jesse Jackson, Joan Baez, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Edward Olmos, Michael Moore and Ramsey Clark, just to name a few. These in addition of the local politicos and strap hangers.

In 2002, the bombing exercises were transferred to an Air Force bombing range in central Florida, not far from the Jacksonville and Pensacola Naval Air Stations. In January, many of the protesters were back in Puerto Rico, celebrating the final bombing exercise on Vieques and waved Puerto Rican flags and placards that read:
"U.S. Navy, get out of Puerto Rico."


The following Feb, Rumsfeld announced that the U.S. Navy will close the Roosevelt Roads Naval Air Station in Puerto Rico in 2004, eliminating 1200 civilian jobs as well as 700 military positions. This naval facility is estimated to have put nearly $300 million annually into the local economy. The next day a stunned governor Sila Calderon, held a news conference in San Juan, protesting the base closure as a serious blow to the Commonwealth's fragile economy. The governor stated that "The people of Puerto Rico don't now or never did have an interest in closing the Vieques bombing range or the Roosevelt Roads naval base. We are interested in both staying in Puerto Rico."

When asked, the Commander-in Chief, Western Atlantic Command, said, "Without Vieques, I see no further need for the facility at Roosevelt Roads. None."

So, Yanqui go home? Fine. But we'll take our dollars with us. Hasta la vista, baby!

On February 21, the Secretary of Defense also announced that starting this year, the U.S. European Command would begin moving most if not all of its active combat and support units from bases in Germany to others being established in Poland, The Czech Republic, Hungary and Turkey to "better position them for rapid deployment to likely hot spots in those parts of the world".

Immediately the business and government leaders in the German states of Hesse, Rhineland and Wurttemburg, protested the loss of nearly $6 billion in revenue each year from the bases and manpower to be displaced. A spokesman for the Foreign Ministry speculated that the move may be "what the Americans call 'payback' for the actions of this government in opposing Military action in Iraq.

" Does anyone know the German translation for "Hasta la vista, baby?"

Oh, ain't it nice to see a government with guts and a good memory.


Note from Vilmar: Did you know the United Sates taxpayer funds Puerto Rico to the tune of $22 billion per YEAR!?!?!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 07:42 AM   
Filed Under: • EconomicsPolitics •  
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I’m Calling In Sick Today

I woke up, posted your "Daily Dose", settled in with a pot of coffee to surf the web before heading off to work and then it happened ....

I ran across this story and decided the world has gone completely unhinged. I am now going back to bed, pull the covers over my head and pray it all goes away by tomorrow.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 07:30 AM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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The Whining of The Poodle’s Puppies

When I first saw this I laughed my ass off and posted about it.

Then I saw an article this morning that caused me to laugh even more. But just before I was going to post it my computer started making unjoyful noises so I had to re-boot it. Logging back on I did some browsing first prior to posting and came across Mr. Minority's post referencing The Poodle's puppies. He had a different take on it.

So to set the stage, read this article first that made me laugh and then go pay Mr. Minority a visit.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 07:20 AM   
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Kerry and Deferments

So....did Fuckface REALLY want to serve in Vietnam? Or is it true he asked for a deferment---and denied it, enlisted in the INACTIVE reserve? Why won't the Kerry website say that? Hmmmmmm?!?!?!

Reading this article makes you wonder: "if getting a deferment makes you a draft dodger, does applying for a deferment make you a draft dodger wannabe?"
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 07:10 AM   
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YIKES!

Final Score ....

Cleveland - 22
New York - 0

No, that's not three touchdowns and a 2-point conversion. That's nine of the worst innings in the New York Yankees 101-year history. The Cleveland "Native Americans" spanked the New York Yanquis and sent them home to momma yesterday.

The Cubs and Red Sox still have a grip on the NL and AL wild card slot. We're coming into the home stretch, gang. Stay tuned.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 07:06 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Hump Day News

Looks like HUMP DAYS will no longer be a part of this guy's future!



I really do not like small dogs so I let loose a small smirk when I read this. How appropriate the air breathing pooch got done in by his gilled nemesis.



Trivia for You

It seems we can't go a day without hearing or reading about the enviro-moonbats complaining about how man is ruining the planet and urban sprawl, and wiping out dozens of species per month, etc.

Well, I have a solution. (the logistics of making this work is iffy but work with me on this, OK?)

Ap Lei Chau, an island off Hong Kong, has 80,000 people living in an area of 1/2 square mile. There are 6,500,000,000 people on this planet.

Texas has an area of about 267,000 square miles. If we could move all the people of the earth to Texas at that same density, they would occupy only 40,625 square miles (or 1/6th of the state.)

The rest of the world could become a preserve.

Of course, we'd have to deal with that little detail of all those pissed off Texans!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 07:03 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. "
-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)


On This Day In History

September 1, 1939 - Germany Invades Poland
At 4:45 a.m., some 1.5 million German troops invade Poland all along its 1,750-mile border with German-controlled territory. Simultaneously, the German Luftwaffe bombed Polish airfields, and German warships and U-boats attacked Polish naval forces in the Baltic Sea. Nazi leader Adolf Hitler claimed the massive invasion was a defensive action, but Britain and France were not convinced. On September 3, they declared war on Germany, initiating World War II.

September 1, 1969 - Qaddafi Leads Coup In Libya
Muammar al-Qaddafi, a 27-year-old Libyan army captain, leads a successful military coup against King Idris I of Libya. Idris was deposed and Qaddafi was named chairman of Libya's new governing body, the Revolutionary Command Council. An ardent Arab nationalist, he plotted with a group of fellow officers to overthrow King Idris, who was viewed as overly conservative and indifferent to the movement for greater political unity among Arab countries. By the time Qaddafi attained the rank of captain, in 1969, the revolutionaries were ready to strike. They waited until King Idris was out of the country, being treated for a leg ailment at a Turkish spa, and then toppled his government in a bloodless coup. The monarchy was abolished, and Idris traveled from Turkey to Greece before finding asylum in Egypt. He died there in Cairo in 1983.

September 1, 1983 - Korean Airlines Flight 007 Shot Down By Soviet Union
Soviet jet fighters intercept a Korean Airlines passenger flight in Russian airspace and shoot the plane down, killing 269 passengers and crewmembers. The incident dramatically increased tensions between the Soviet Union and the United States. On September 1, 1983, Korean Airlines (KAL) flight 007 was on the last leg of a flight from New York City to Seoul, with a stopover in Anchorage, Alaska. As it approached its final destination, the plane began to veer far off its normal course. In just a short time, the plane flew into Russian airspace and crossed over the Kamchatka Peninsula, where some top-secret Soviet military installations were known to be located. The Soviets sent two fighters to intercept the plane. According to tapes of the conversations between the fighter pilots and Soviet ground control, the fighters quickly located the KAL flight and tried to make contact with the passenger jet. Failing to receive a response, one of the fighters fired a heat-seeking missile. KAL 007 was hit and plummeted into the Sea of Japan. All 269 people on board were killed.


Today's Birthdays

Engelbert Humperdinck, (1854–1921), German composer and teacher
Walter Philip Reuther, (1907–70), American labor leader
Rocky Marciano, (1923-1969), American boxer & heavyweight champion (1952-56)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 09/01/2004 at 06:15 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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GNU Terry Pratchett


Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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