Sunday - February 22, 2004

OSAMA UPDATE!

Don't break out the party hats yet, folks but it is looking better and better by the minute. Even Al Jazeera, the Official Moonbat News Agency Of The Middle East is now acknowledging that Osama bin Laden is about to be captured.

We're staying on top of this one. And hoping and praying. Stay tuned.

You Asked For It

Several people have sent us e-mails requesting pictures of myself and Vilmar. You folks are weird. We know who you are and we're keeping an eye on you. Well, here are photos of the two of us from the Top Secret Barking Moonbat Early Warning System© Security ID System.

Allan	Vilmar

The Wait Is Over

Finally. After all the flap over Mel Gibson's "The Passion Of The Christ" and all the complaints that it may be anti-semitic, the movie is finally opening nationwide this Wednesday, February 25.

After hearing all the rumors about many theatres preferring not to show it and that it would only be released in a limited number of theatres, I decided to check for showtimes at local theatres. Man, was I surprised. Here in Indianapolis it is opening on thirty (30) screens at seventeen (17) multiplex cinemas around town. Wow!

I'll probably have comments about it later on this week. Stay tuned.

Since I would like to watch the movie in silence so that I can better appreciate it, I would highly recommend all Barking Moonbats in my neighborhood go see this while I'm watching "The Passion".

And keep your paws off my popcorn.

   Saturday - February 21, 2004

We can only hope!!

Hot off the presses in the UK is this story saying our soldiers have Bin Laden surrounded!

If this is true, there will be some serious partying going on in many American homes as well as a nice kick in the ass to the stock markets.

So, all you capitalists out there: prepare to make some money!!

You liberals? Fuck off and go stand in line waiting for your welfare checks or whatever it is you do.

Of course, if this is bullshit or he escapes, then the part about making money will not take place and we will be disheartened.

The part about the liberals will still stand as that is all they know how to do.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

We have just added an exciting new feature here at The Barking Moonbat Early Warning System©. We are going to offer a weekly newsletter with updates to keep you informed about goings on here at Moonbat Central Command, located five miles beneath Cheyenne Mountain in a secure location (no, Dick Cheney is not allowed here since his last visit when he pushed the red button after we told him repeatedly not to).

In addition to the weekly newsletter, you can also sign up to receive e-mails daily, weekly or monthly with links to all the new posts here on the site. We promise to keep you informed and tickle your funnybone with our special brand of twisted humor.

Sign up for your subscription to our new mailing list here. You can unsubscribe at any time but we hope you hang with us. We plan on having a lot of fun exposing Barking Moonbats.

Important note: our mailing lists are strictly guarded by our mascot "Batty" and will absolutely never be given out to anyone.

Morons in our midst

Only from Reuters could you get something that's tragic written about so stupidly that it is actually humorous.

The Scene: a wedding
The Location: Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Here we have a country where people are dying of hunger left and right, lawlessness is the rule, and people are prohibited from owning firearms.

Guests show at a wedding, the revelers get a bit excited, they're jumping for joy, a grenade falls out and goes BOOM! and kills the bride (plus three others for good measure.)

How does Reuters write about it? "it is not uncommon for guests to fire their guns in the air at weddings in wild jubilation, although incidents involving grenades are rare."

Sorry, that just struck me as funny. Imagine a scene where people are gathered around having fun and guests start lobbing grenades.

Hmmmmm, they may be on to something in Ethiopia that maybe we can import into Iraq, Iran, Jordan, Syria, Palestinian settlements, etc. If done right we just might be able to rid the world of a few more moonbats.

Now You Know, Part I

People often ask me where the phrase Moonbat originated. I usually reply to them "buy me another drink or three and I'll tell you about it."

Here is the condensed version (you can start stirring the martinis now, if you please - thank you).

You know what the moon is, right? That big silver ball in the night sky? That neighboring planetoid that a million songs have been written about? The place Neil Armstrong took a giant leap? Home of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon?

Well, the ancient Latin word for moon was luna, which is why we talk about lunar cycles which are responsible for women's PMS attacks among other evils visited upon mankind since we climbed down from the trees. Also from the Latin lunaticus, which translates as "moon-struck", we derive the word lunatic. The Romans thought that recurring bouts of madness were caused by cycles of the moon. The Roman men obviously had the same problems with their women as we do today but it would be nearly 2000 years before this "lunacy" was diagnosed as PMS.

So we see that the moon (aka, Luna) has always been associated with mental problems of one sort or another for thousands of years. There has to be some connection there. All those people couldn't be wrong could they?

Which brings us to the subject of bats. Bats are essentially just ugly little rats with wings. Rats by themselves are a damned nuisance but when you strap wings on the little bastards they become mortal terrors. Then if you take away their eyesight and give them bult-in radar so they can fly at night (by moonlight, of course) you end up with the definition of evil (with apologies to Bruce Wayne's alter-ego).

And if you give these monsters fangs they become blood-suckers and before you can say "Transylvania" you have Count Dracula flying in the window and drinking the blood of nice young girls with scanty night-clothes and big breasts in old Christopher Lee movies.

So now we come to the combination of the two: Moonbat. This is the human personification of the two terms described above. It is a human whose cerebral cortex has turned to silly putty causing him or her to mentally slide down the evolutionary ladder to the level of a winged rat who is influenced by the moon and who wants to eat your brain. These creatures have broken brains and since the brain is the organ that tells us all when we're broken, their detection mechanism is unable to tell them that they are barking mad. Also affectionately known as a "Democrat".

These creatures spend their days hanging from the ceiling (or relaxing in their saunas in Beverly Hills) and by night, when the moon exerts its lunatic influence upon their two remaining brain cells, they wander the streets babbling insanities and looking for their next victim. They usually first appear about sundown on NBC, CBS and ABC News as "sound bites" (see above regarding fangs). Then they quickly gather in upscale neighborhoods like The Hamptons, Martha's Vineyard, San Francisco and Hollywood where they plot their devious, totally mad plans to take over the world.

Poor pitiful creatures. They have no clue that we are on to them. Their twisted, demented little brains simply cannot grasp the fact they are doomed to extinction. The legends of vampires have slowly died out and thanks to modern psychotherapy (and electrical shock treatments) these miserable throwbacks to an earlier dark era in human history are slowly being eliminated (or in the case of San Francisco, simply allowed to "mate" in a manner that will not allow them to reproduce).

So there you have it. Pour me another martooni, please and we'll examine the "Barking" part next week.

Entertainment Is Back!

Just when I thought things were going to get boring, Pravda comes to the rescue with this story entitled Military makes fun out of President by concealing from him the truth about sad state of Russian Army.

Key quote: Military expert Alexander Golts said in a Die Welt interview that every time when experiencing failure, Russian military is giving way to inventing lies. "Such a reaction demonstrates degradation of the military", Mr. Golts says. According to him, the very sad fact is that the military is making fun out of the President by hiding the truth from him. The expert says Vladimir Putin reminds "a puppet in the hands of the military".

This story about the recent military exercises by the Russians reads like a Marx Brothers comedy. I laughed myself almost to tears reading it. If this were the "bad old days" of the Cold War, I would be scared at the sloppiness and accidents of our Russian friends. However, those days are over and it seems the Russians have learned a valuable lesson for new democracys: the best entertainment can only be obtained by yanking the chains of the county's politicians.

I extend my congratulations to the Russians for finally discovering a sense of humor. Now all you guys need to do is come up with a Russian version of Al Sharpton and Dennis Kucinich and you're set. Tons of fun for all.

   Friday - February 20, 2004

Just imagine ….

I have an MPEG video that I saved of President Bush's speech to a joint session of Congress on September 20, 2001. I would post it here for you to view but it is 383 MB (40 minutes) and would blow out my storage limit on our server at Hosting Matters (you can read the transcript here though if you need to refresh your memory). It is interesting to me to occasionally go back and view that speech, given only nine days after the attack on America, and play "what-if" scenarios. For instance, what if Al Gore had been President? How would he have reacted? Would he have been capable of projecting as much strength and decisiveness as Bush did that night? Would he have been able to console us and give us a sense of strength and unity as Bush did? How would Gore have reacted to the threat from the Taliban and Al Qaeda?

Then I'm reminded of how, after losing the election, Gore slunk off to Europe "in search of himself" and grew a beard. Now he's back and foaming at the mouth in support of Howard Dean who was also foaming at the mouth before retiring from the race.

Just think America, we were only a few thousand votes away from having Gore in the White House on September 11, 2001. Scary thought isn't it?

Even scarier is this: picture John Kerry as President on Septmeber 11, 2001. Think about that image long and hard, America.

You have already seen how George W. Bush reacted. The Taliban was overthrown, a democratic government put in place in Afghanistan, Al Qaeda operatives have been captured and/or killed all over the world, Iraq has been freed from the dictatorship of Saddam Hussein who has been captured and is awaiting trial and Libya has shut down its weapons of mass destruction programs after the example of Iraq. The world has seen what America can do if it has a President with real balls (not the kind Monica Lewinsky played with).

Now, imagine if you will, knowing John Kerry's positions and after listening to his campaign speeches, where would we be today if Kerry had been President on 9-11-2001.

Vilmar is preparing quite a dossier on John Kerry. None of this sleazy "intern affair" stuff. Real issue comparison and revealing insights into the man who would lead this country down a dangerous path if allowed.

Stay tuned ...................

Bush vs. The Ninja Terrorists

Thanks to Frank J who got a tip from Brian who ...... never mind.

This is the on-line computer game of the year.

Note: John Kerry doesn't have anything nearly this cool!

A Fresh Look At An Old Favorite

The late Dr. Isaac Asimov has always been one of my favorite authors. I grew up reading "I, Robot" and "The Foundation" series. Thanks to Dr. Asimov's science fiction novels, essays and short stories I was introduced to the astounding world of Science Fiction at an early age. His writings were more science than fiction thanks to a PhD. in Biochemistry. Thanks to his works, I was able to understand the complexities of space travel a decade or more before we put a man on the moon.

He was also an uncommonly brilliant thinker with a great sense of humor.

He was born in Russia and came to this country at an early age. He loved America dearly. Take a look at his interpretation of the Star Spangled Banner (all four stanzas).

Sadly, they don't make 'em like Dr. Asimov anymore.

Blue Screen Of Death

It happens to computer users billions of times a day worldwide.

Microsoft has decided to earn money from it.

This Bud's for you!

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Listening to Rush yesterday it suddenly came to me: we have failed two whole generations of Americans when it comes to opportunities and education. And paid dearly for it, too. But Dummycrats can't quite see it that way. They see it as a requirement for more "investment" (socialist code word for raping your wallet.)

Rush was having a conversation with a guy named James who worked at a Head Start program in the Bronx and proceeded to tell Rush their programs teach parents to read and also advise parents and kids on spouse/family abuse.

Like Rush and myself, by now you must be asking, "why is Head Start TEACHING parents to read? Wasn't that the role that Head Start, pre-K, Kindergarten, grammar school and high school should have played in their life as that person was growing up?"

By virtue of Head Start doing this for parents now isn't that an admission of failure for the WHOLE system of welfare AND education as we know it? Here we have dozens of federal, state, county, and local programs (not to mention church and charitable groups): Head Start, AFDC, food stamps, WIC, welfare, earned income credits, work-fare, state paid child care, free lunch, free training, free breakfast, Internet hookups in classrooms with each one overlapping the other in programs and responsibility. The end result? A full circle right back to the beginning. Except now we have Head Start to teach parents how to read!!!!!

And don't we already have tax-payer funded programs that advise on abuse? Why so much overlap? Just how much have we gotten as it relates to results for all these programs? Obviously, not a whole lot, in my eyes. No Sirree!

If you listen to the Dummycrats you will find them still insisting we further fund these programs and demanding we create even more. Why? Because they DO increase the level of bureaucracy and the numbers of government workers. As for the kids I guess their attitude is, "FUCK 'EM!! I got my job and now let's see how many more people I can drag into this so we can hire even more workers and get more funding."

Dummycrats know that if you increase the numbers of people standing around with their hands out asking for more, the core group of voters the Dummycrats are constantly trolling around for, you will increase your chances of getting elected. Result? A larger class of people considered dependent. A larger class of Victicrats.

OH! Let's not forget. According to the Dummycrats, we still have hungry/starving children. When was the last time you read that ANYBODY died in the US due to hunger????????????? (other than self-inflicted through bulimia or adults purposely starving kids) And if you did hear or one or two is that really any cause for the hysterics of the Dummycrats saying millions are hungry? Truth be told, our kids are fatter than they ever were. Could be they are getting too many free breakfasts and lunches.

Anyway, the total so far for all these educational and social programs: over 5 TRILLION dollars!!!!

So to recap, what do we have for that "investment"? Head Start programs that teach parents and kids about domestic violence!!!!! Entire programs that are abject failures in that after years and years people still can't read and are taught that their only salvation is another government program or handout. We have created a society of dependency in this country that sickens me. Maybe it is time we CUT all these programs and let these people figure out how to grab their own bootstraps and make something of themselves. If nothing else, by cutting these programs and giving the money back to the taxpayer (notice I said TAXPAYER, not the poor or those who pay NO taxes already!) we'd have more money donated to charitable organizations such as churches and local groups who used to do this sort of thing in the past before Mommy Government usurped that role.) I firmly believe the results would be much better.

Check out the transcript of a conversation Rush had with James.

SHHHHH!!!!  Can you hear it?

Can you hear that sound? You know!! The sound of loud, howling righteous indignation coming from the leftist barking moonbats in our country and other "freedom loving" hot spots of the world against (spit) FRANCE and the (spit) frenchy-french.

I did not think so. I couldn't hear it either.

Surely you remember how these socialist scumbags wailed, and cried, and gnashed their teeth upon hearing the US was going to attack Iraq, and said that it was a UNILATERAL ACTION and how awful it was and that we're so mean, that we are bullies, that we are colonialists, OH WOE IS THE WORLD!!!! WHIMPER!! WHIMPER! WHINE!! WHINE!!

But now we have the (SPIT! SPIT!) French talking of sending troops to Haiti and not a peep out of these bastards. And not a peep of them when the (SPIT!) French went to the Ivory Coast or Chad. They did not go to the (SPIT! SPIT! SPIT! SPIT! SPIT!) United Nations and ask permission, did they? But is it considered a unilateral action? "Mais, non!!!!" cried Pierre as he ate some pig innards or offal or snails or whatever they eat over there.

Amazing how hypocritical actions are not seen as such by the rest of the world. But then again, maybe the rest of the world knows that no matter how many (spit!) French soldiers are sent to any place on the globe they are so ineffectual as to be considered "not" there. Especially given their propensity for displaying white flags in the face of a slingshot (much less some serious firepower), and proving to us they truly ARE cheese eating SURRENDER monkeys ----well, we have nothing to really worry about, do we?

Alright, go ahead, read this.

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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